Am I alone? Husband became useless after our dc

[Motherchicken]

Did anyone else’s husband become useless after they had dc? Mine has lost the ability to do washing, clean the house, make dinner or take care of the baby without me asking him to do it! He used to be the one to take care of the house and now can’t do anything without specific instructions. Didn’t realise I birthed 2 babies that day! Anyone else’s husband turn into a useless heap after the birth of their dc.

Oh dear OP! Didn't want to read and run! My DH has been brilliant since our DS was born but he's 14 weeks now and he does have to be given a nudge to do things around the house and with DS but when prompted he's more than happy to help. He does take the initiative, but not always; he is a bloke after all! 😝
I'd have a chat with your DP and tell him what's what. He needs to step up to plate. both of you are the parents! Just because you're the one that gave birth, doesn't mean it's all on you all day every day.
I wish you luck!

He hasn’t lost the ability to do anything. He’s decided it’s your job, not his, and so he’s not doing it.

You’re not alone, there are lots of similar threads on here every week. You’re lucky you’ve only had one child with him. He won’t improve if you add another to the mix. Though how anyone wants to shag someone displaying this sort of strategic incompetence is beyond me.

I assume you are on maternity leave? Yes, I think psychologically quite a few men then assume their wife/partner will take on most childcare AND housework when it’s really only meant to be a time for focusing on the baby and getting better yourself after the birth. Unfortunately this then usually continues after you go back to work, if going back.

Time to sit down and discuss. This needs to be addressed fast.

when prompted he's more than happy to help. He does take the initiative, but not always; he is a bloke after all!
My god, I hate this. He isn't helping he is being an adult, looking after his child and cleaning his home. Does he need his hand held at work? No, but somehow at home he does. Why do some men think this fake helplessness is ok?
I agree with the other posters, you need to put a stop to his nonsense now.

If you're on maternity leave, have a talk with your DH about who does what. It's reasonable of him to expect you to do some housework while you're at home during the day - looking after a baby isn't a full time job on its own. But he should be doing some work around the house in the evening, assuming you're doing something.

@lockdownpregnancy why does him being a bloke mean he can’t look after his own house or child?

It's frankly ridiculous to say that maternity leave is solely meant to be a time to focus on the baby and get better after the birth. It doesn't take a year to get better after the birth, obviously, and there's time to do other things around looking after and having fun with the baby. I think it would be reasonable for a father to feel pissed off if he got home and found that nothing had been done during the day. But he should certainly expect to do something in the evening and at the weekend. Why not share out the things that need doing?

@Choice4567 it was a joke to make light of a crappy situation for OP!
@tillytown harsh! My DH is amazing but sometimes he just doesn't think and needs to be prompted. He does the same with me sometimes, especially when we are both sleep deprived and don't even know our own names 😝
I don't know what I'd do without my DH. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who would prefer their life without their partner! I'm not one of those people

Are you on maternity leave? I think it’s quite common that you get pigeonholed as a housewife during that time. There’s some justification - a baby during the first year doesn’t always take all your time. If you e got a 5 month old that sleeps relatively well at night and takes 2/3 good long naps in a pram or cot, then you could probably get on top of household stuff. But if you’ve got a 2 month old Velcro baby that only naps in your arms and wakes up every 20 minutes at night unless your nursing..... then you won’t be able to get anything done Nd shouldn’t feel bad getting your DH to pitch in!

The ideal is that you are a team and both act in the best interests of that team. Good luck with that! My DH is in the “crap at housework unless prompted” team.

Wait...people have husbands who do things without being asked to first?!

Thank you for all the responses. I think a frank conversation is probably needed. But I’m glad I’m not alone in this. Maybe as baby gets older, he will too and he will remember how to contribute to our home.

Rather than him becoming useless, it took me having DC to open my eyes to the fact that he's always been useless but I never noticed before I had the added responsibility!