DD getting very agitated

[zaffa]

I don't quite know the right way to describe it! She's 13 months and she's recently started to get very rough when she doesn't want to do something - hair pulling if she's in my arms, hitting me in the face, flailing her arms around and crying. I don't think she is deliberately trying to hurt me because I don't think she really understands that concept at her age but I do think it's a reaction to not wanting to do something (nap time, being held so she doesn't grab at the cats, not wanting to stop what she's doing) she also hates being told no and will scream and cry as though she is in pain.
I'm not sure what we are supposed to do?
I try to distract her when we say no, so will give her another activity and that does help, but when it's nap time and she is pulling may hair I can't really give her another activity to do because it's time for sleeping. She co sleeps and used to just fall asleep next to me but the past week or so I've had to hold her and rock her and even that isn't going so well now. Is it a a sleep regression?
I don't think time outs and what not could work because I don't think babies have that level of understanding at her age - is this normal though and if so, does it end or is it the start of tantrums and terrible twos?
She isn't walking yet and is only just learning to stand (but can climb the stairs and starting to cruise) so it could be frustration but she hasn't shown much interest in walking really as she's very efficient at crawling.
Help! Should I be worried, is she trying to tell me something?

Bump?

Hi, our DDs are the same age and sound very similar, even down to the cruising and stair climbing! I've read that they can't regulate their emotions at this age, and don't understand why they aren't allowed to "play" with the cats etc.. I've also read that basically we are their emotional anchor point, so it's important to stay calm and let them see that to help them to calm themselves. I don't think she's trying to tell you any more than "I am frustrated that you have stopped me doing what I want to do", but that doesn't mean just let her do it.

One response we have just started using is to say what you see, so for example "you're cross because you want to hit the cat. We don't hit the cat because it's not kind". She may not understand at this age but will start to work it out.

I'm at the same stage you are though, so take my advice with a punch of salt!

It's literally been the last week so I also wonder if it's the lack of routine over Xmas and not being at nursery which is much more interesting than being stuck in tier four.
I hope you're right - we have been successful in teaching her to be gentle with the cats and not grab them but that's not quite gentle in cat terms. It's the hair pulling I think that's the worst as it's very painful!

My DD used to pinch my arm to get to sleep so I sleep trained at 1 because I just couldn't take the pain anymore.

The screaming at no sounds familiar too - they have no real way to communicate at that stage so it's just frustration by the sounds of it. Distraction is useful (if it works) as well as staying calm and close by. I use to find trying to hold DD when she was annoyed about something made it worse so used to stay close by and she'd come for a hug when she was ready.

Thanks. I'm avoiding sleep training as I just don't think it will help to add on to all the other things going on with her now but once she settles back into a routine we will work on getting her to sleep in her own room at least for part of the night. She does pinch but the hair pulling is the worst - I think because it is short hair and she has quite a grip!
Good advice about letting her get upset and just being close by - she does also love a cuddle and is so affectionate most of the time.
I wondered if she was unwell, she's had a cold pretty much since she started nursery to varying degrees and so I wondered if she was in lots of discomfort or if it is her molars coming through