Do you suddenly become a light sleeper when you are a parent?

[Scattybrain89]

I'm 28 and newly TTC but I have a big concern. I want kids but I sleep REALLY deeply.

It's really frustrating, I never used to be like this. When I was younger I used to sleep so lightly and be easily woken, and I'd wake up without an alarm at 7 or 8, maybe 9, even on a weekend. I was always a bit of an insomniac.

But since my early twenties, I sleep SO deeply. I still often struggle to fall asleep and am regularly awake til 3am or later, but I could then easily sleep for 9 hours straight or even more. My DP has to make sure I'm up on weekdays because if left to my own devices I do not wake. If I wake without an alarm, I feel legitimately proud because usually it takes 3 or more alarms to wake me, and it's a good hour after getting up before I start to feel awake.

I'm so concerned that if I have a baby I won't wake up to them when they need me. DP is a light sleeper but I know I'll need to be able to wake up to feed baby etc. My DP is the main earner so I'd be on mat leave and potentially a SAHM.

I need to become a light sleeper again! Does it just happen because your body knows you need to for your babies survival?

It's quite amazing how you become attuned. I went to a holiday cottage once with family - I was in the downstairs bedroom with DH and baby DD and older DD was upstairs with her cousin, auntie and grandparents. One night older DD woke with tummy ache and I heard her from the downstairs bedroom with the door closed! My mum was sorting her out and was quite surprised to see me coming up the stairs!

As long as one of you wakes up it's fine dd1 once stroked my leg in the night to wake me up. I screamed the house down (in my sleep) finally got woken up by DH shouting to see everyone staring at me in horror. Kids go to his side of the bed now!

Here’s a good example for how things change

I’m severely deaf and rely on a hearing aid

Without it, I can barely hear anything. I can sleep like the dead. A fire alarm going off wouldn’t wake me.

Yet, I would wake every single time my baby cried, whilst dh slept through it.

Yep for me, I was never a good sleeper, but once I was asleep I would sleep through most noise.

Now if I hear my sons voice, his room door etc I’m awake, but more than that I tend to be wide awake almost straight away. The only exception is when he sleeps in my room I tend not to wake up if he makes a noise etc, like I know he is close so I don’t need to wake.

Before I became a mum I used to sleep through loud alarms e.g car alarm blaring outside and our window open but now ds is here I wake up when he needs me you'll be fine

The thing that gets me isn't my sleep habits it's my toddler's. He can sleep through some very loud noises e.g loud music and screaming and swearing wars from next door that ended up in the police coming... but the sound of me trying to creep out of his room? That wakes him! Children sometimes have magic powers.

I used to sleep like the dead, since I had kids I wake up if one of them sneezes at 2am. It's a pain in the arse!!!!!

@HarrietSchulenberg

Yes, I did. I used to sleep through anything but was wide awake and bolt upright at the slightest whimper from DS1. Ex-H did not undergo a similar transformation.

Hahahahahha amen to that!

Definitely. Shame the same can't be said for DH 🙄

Yep. I was a brilliant sleeper pre-pregnancy, I could sleep anywhere and any time. Since DC - I am a shite sleeper, if I sleep in the same room as DS (3-years-old) I wake up to his every snort or mumble. It's a total curse!

So: don't worry, you'll be FAR more sensitive to your baby's noise than you want to be!

When you breastfeed, you produce a hormone that helps to lull baby and you to sleep at night but also ensures you don't sleep too deeply. I think it is prolactin. Also babies sleep wake pattern at night is frequent on purpose, so they don't sleep too deeply (SIDS risk) and so you don't sleep too deeply, it's why having baby sleep in the same room as you is so important and why breastfeeding is more protective against SIDS. We are mammals designed to cosleep after all. So definitely do a lot of research on breastfeeding if you are a deep sleeper, because it usually does not come naturally. You need to be prepared.

I used to sleep really deeply - since having children it's totally different- I sometimes wake up when my daughter takes a deep breath (three rooms away). Used to be able to nap really deeply for 3 straight hours - now struggle to nap for more than 40 mins. Can hear anyone in the house anywhere - got spidey senses now!!! 🕷

Yep. I use to sleep through massive storms, alarms, everything.

Since dd1 was born I wake up if they roll over. Mother's instincts.

When dh had them alone as baby's he said they'd be screaming the house down before he woke up. Obviously doesn't work for dads

When we had our 3, DW could hear a change of breathing and wake accordingly.
Now we have DGC for sleepovers (when permitted by COVID!), it’s me that hears them stir!

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since my dd was born.

She is 21.

Yes, I think it must be hormonal

It used to take me ages to fall asleep, but once I was asleep it was like my brain was switched off and nobody was home. After my DTs for the first year or so I woke for every snuffle and used to seethe whilst dealing with two babies as dh slept through.

He eventually started hearing them at night and started to go in to check on them, so I stopped waking to go but looking at my sleep patterns on the Fitbit I woke up but didn’t remember it!

I have been known to go in to them, soothe a baby whilst dh soothes the other, have a whispered conversation with him and have zero recollection of it the next day

They’re nearly 3 now and I still wake as needed.

You'll wake up imagining they're crying and wish you could sleep deeply!

My kids are adults now but dp has primary school aged kids and even though they aren't mine, I wake up to even their slightest sound! (Mind you exh never woke up to mine and dp doesn't wake up to his fgs!)

@coronafiona

You'll wake up imagining they're crying and wish you could sleep deeply!

Ahhh yes. Not to mention you spend ages desperately wishing they would sleep through the night , only for the first time they do to wake in the middle of the night jump out of bed to check on them because they haven't woken for the first time in ages ever up until now

Err that one might have just been me to exdh amusement

I’m awake because my toddler sneezed 🙃 mine started the last trimester when I’d wake randomly and I’ve just never got back to a deep sleep - my boys sleep through the night but I can still be in their room before they’ve fully started crying - it’s a magic, hindering 6th sense!

I woke up with start and was jumping out of bed the moment before dd fell out of her bed in her room down the hall. I was literally setting off to rescue her when I heard the thump and realized I was on my way. Bizarre. Must have heard her shuffling around around before hand.
Thankfully DH is amazing at night wakes with DD so I can focus on DS night wakings. He used to be rubbish but now will often wake up in her bed with no recollection of having got up to her calls, taken her to the toilet and cuddled her back to sleep (all heard from the feeding chair in DS's room).

If I fell asleep with DD when she was a tiny baby I slept much more lightly, if I went to sleep in my own I was like a log (we soon learned putting DD in with me after I was asleep we a bad idea). Now she's a toddler I'm back to log sleeping so she or DP wakes me up by man handling me (to get her boob access)

With me meant in the bed with me, touching me/boobing/under my nose, bed side crib didn't count (not that she slept in it much

Women do. Men don't.