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Am I wrong to be annoyed?

2 replies

Sunnysideup321 · 31/12/2020 17:25

The father of my child is with a new partner over a year, they live together and during the summer I agreed that the one night a week he has him he could have her in his partners house. On the basis that he never sleeps in their bed and my partner doesn't sleep in our DS bed (he comes home looking for me to sleep with him if his daddy does). I asked my son 3.5 if he'd slept on his own when he stayed in his dads the night before and he told me he had slept with his dad and his dad's girlfriend. To me this is totally inappropriate, I've welcomed her in my sons life, text her to thank her for presents she bought him before BUT this I am not at all comfortable with. So I addressed it with my ex, who said he will do whatever he likes when he has our son. Now considering I work full-time as well as my ex and the responsibility of looking after our son lies with me 6 out of 7 days a week, I potty trained him, organise his childminding when both of us are in work and he's a smart, kind lovely boy (mainly down to me). I feel my ex only has to feed and bath him once a week, I send spare cloths (dad has none) and because of how little responsibility my ex has he should respect my rules and my sons mother? Do you think I'm wrong?

Also, my ex told me many times he would leave his current partner if I would have him back so it's hard to take their relationship seriously.

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 31/12/2020 17:57

I don’t think you are wrong in principle. Your DS should normally be sleeping in his own bed when at his dads home.
However, was this event a one off? Did DS have a nightmare and so then went and slept with his dad and girlfriend in their bed? Or did he wet his bed and they had no extra sheets, so let him join them instead of being put back into a wet bed. What do you do when your DS has a nightmare? Does he come to your bed? It would be better to have consistency both in the rule and any exceptions for the DS regardless of whose home he is in.

I’d think I’d dig a bit deeper into why it happened as your ex may be respecting your rules but the incident itself was an understandable exception.

Sunnysideup321 · 01/01/2021 13:24

There's no more too it. When he wakes or is unsettled with me I reassure him in his own bed. He woke in his dads to use the loo and his dad told him to jump back in with him and his partner

OP posts:
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