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Extroverted toddler

3 replies

CautiouslyPessimistic · 30/12/2020 14:44

I'm an introvert, married to another introvert, with an extrovert daughter. She's nearly 4, extremely confident and outgoing (which I love) and very, very chatty (which I also love).

Thing is, she absolutely won't do anything alone. Her younger brother (2) wanders off to the other room to play for a bit and then wanders back, wants to chat, wants to play, wanders off again. DD, on the other hand, wants only to talk to me, play with me, show me things, all day long. It's not an attachment issue - she loves nursery, will leave us to go to the childminder with no problem, doesn't enormously mind if it's me or her dad with her. She just wants to engage with someone 24/7.

It's a lovely trait but I'm completely worn out. I'm glad for her in the longer term (being introverted can be hard as a teen and young adult) but I desperately need some tips to get me through these younger years.

Is it ok to tell her she needs to play alone for a bit or is that cruel? How do I implement quiet time? She has a room full of toys and stories on tape but has no interest in being there if we aren't there too. She hates her dad and I talking if she's not included in the conversation and will interrupt even when we remind her not to. She's very rarely quiet even if she's watching something she loves. Help!

OP posts:
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RubertRoo · 30/12/2020 14:49

I am only replying as I am in the exact same situation with my 3 year old so also looking for tips. It is very draining when I love her confidence and outgoing personality so much but I cant take her needing the constant interaction

Rainallnight · 30/12/2020 17:12

I’m a highly extrovert mum to a highly extrovert daughter and I struggle. I don’t think only introverts find incessant four year old carry on exhausting!

I’ve instituted ‘quiet time’ on each non school day, when she can’t interrupt me unless it’s an emergency. I confess I do use the telly for this but it’s been absolutely needs must during lockdown etc.

I also find that now that she’s just that little bit older, she’s better if I can get her doing something she can get absorbed in. So colouring, little easy craft kits etc. I can say, ‘I just have to do X, show me that when you’re done’

The interrupting drives me mad and we’re working very hard at teaching her to hold the thought in her head till we’ve finished speaking.

peasoup8 · 30/12/2020 17:29

I was like that as a young child and am now a massive introvert. I changed when I started school!

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