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Parenting

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Original poster

How to get your patience back when you've completely run out

19 replies

formulaquestion · 30/12/2020 07:57

I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old.I am exhausted and stressed. I snap so easily and it only takes something so small.

The best way to describe how I feel is that my patience has completely run out.

Can any one please help... how can I get it back 😔

OP posts:

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lovemylot1 · 30/12/2020 08:00

I know how you feel. You need a break just to have a good sleep and do whatever you like. Is that possible?

Grooticle · 30/12/2020 08:03

Can you have a day off? If somebody else can look after them for a solid chunk of time you can do something for you, whatever it is you find relaxing. For me that’s heading to the beach for a walk by myself, I feel like I can get myself back somehow there, and then I have more patience and resilience for other people.

FippertyGibbett · 30/12/2020 08:05

Do you have a partner or husband ?
Do you have family nearby ?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds 4 year olds Families General parenting

OverTheRainbow88 · 30/12/2020 08:06

I try and do the count to 10 in my head before I react but it’s really hard. I feel like my 2 and 4 year old try their hardest to wind me up; as in the do something knowing it’s not allowed and watch me while they do it.

Original poster

formulaquestion · 30/12/2020 08:06

I do get enough sleep because I go to bed so early (8 latest) in preparation for the 3am wake up from my 1 year old 😫. I think that is breaking me. Being up that early , starting the day.
I am still breastfeeding him so I feel I can't leave him to anyone else (and also in tier 4 at the moment. )

I suppose even if I had a day to myself I wouldn't even know what to do! It's been so long.
Thank you for the kind replies

OP posts:

Charles11 · 30/12/2020 08:10

Do you have a routine? Some structure to the day often helps.
Snatch as many rest times as you can get.
Take dc out, put a film on for your older dc when it’s nap time for the younger and you just relax by yourself.
Is your dp around? They need to pull their weight so include them in your routine so you can get time by yourself.
I found having the radio on kitchen helped as it connected me to adults and my world wasn’t all about dc constantly.

Original poster

formulaquestion · 30/12/2020 08:10

I have a partner, but we have a small house and if he is with the kids they just scream and whinge for me. It actually makes me feel worse when he is with them because then I get mad at him too. And it adds to my problems.

I have great parents who I am happy to leave my kids with but my sister has just had twins so they are helping her and I have lost that support. Another issue adding to how I feel I suppose.

OP posts:

Sittinginmyoodie · 30/12/2020 08:12

Do you have any kind of break or time away from the kids to do something for yourself. Even just a quick half an hour walk outside the house alone can make the difference.

Original poster

formulaquestion · 30/12/2020 08:12

Music actually helps a lot. I got air pods for Christmas and I put one in while cleaning up around the kids. My 4 year old just constantly spoke to me and I couldn't hear her properly and it stressed me out that she wouldn't even allow me 5 minutes to myself! She's 4 and she was annoying me! Poor thing 😞

OP posts:

Original poster

formulaquestion · 30/12/2020 08:15

I think it's going to have to be time to myself outside the house, thank you all

OP posts:

FippertyGibbett · 30/12/2020 08:16

Is the 4 year old at school ?
I personally stopped BF when I got to a point where I wanted my body back. I remember reaching a point where this child, who walked/talked/ate food, got on my nerves for demanding to be fed to sleep.

Original poster

formulaquestion · 30/12/2020 09:02

@FippertyGibbett yes 4 year old is at school.

I actually enjoy breastfeeding, he doesn't demand it and it feels like it's the only thing that allows me to rest in bed for an extra half an hour at 3 in the morning when he wakes. Also he has had a lot of health issues so I feel it's best for him if I continue for a while longer. Completely do understand what your saying though. I stoped BF my DD when she was 6 months, couldn't take much more.

OP posts:

AuntyJack · 30/12/2020 09:42

Schedule some time to yourself each day and leave your husband with the kids. He will probably have an easier time of it if you aren't an option for them to ask for. Just a walk to the park and read your book in peace might do you the world of good. Will your one year old not go back to sleep if you bring him into your bed and try to cosleep? Husband can go sleep on the couch if needed

ladygracie · 30/12/2020 09:44

Does your day start at 3am? As in you get up then? If so, then I imagine that is causing your loss of patience. You poor thing.
Time out of the house would be good - a regular walk with a friend maybe?

Original poster

formulaquestion · 30/12/2020 11:24

He is completely ready for the day when he wakes up. Last night I put him to bed 3 hours later than usual, and he was still up at 3 😥

My DP is useless to be honest. I could go out the house for a walk but I will come back to mess and they would of been fed chocolates and sweets, baby probably crying. So it just adds to lack of patience, I will feel even more aggravated.

OP posts:

AuntyJack · 30/12/2020 12:23

Maybe you need to go away for a few days. If he has to deal with the fallout of them having sweets he might realise not to do it. I can understand not wanting to leave your kids if you're worried about them not getting looked after properly though

Aria999 · 30/12/2020 12:27

I would suggest don't give up on getting him back to sleep after 3am feed. Even if they seem wide awake it is possible to get them back to sleep sometimes. Just keep the lights low, don't talk to him much and when you do make it a soft voice or a whisper, then cuddle and put down, cuddle and put down, or walk round with him, sing, whatever. Even if you end up doing that for three hours and it fails it's probably no worse than starting the day and it would get him on a path to understanding that 3am is not morning!

GreenTiles22 · 30/12/2020 12:37

Oh you poor thing, sleep deprivation is the worst!! I agree with PP about trying to address the 3am wake up time. That's not acceptable! (Ha ha, I know, try telling that to a 1 year old). But in the mean time, you need to fill your cup up with some well deserved me time. Do you have a bubble to help with childcare? I have been known to leave my kids at home with their father and pop to my mums for a few hours peace and quiet x

Muchtoomuchtodo · 30/12/2020 13:46

You have to sort out the 3am start to the day.

That’s just not doable for any length of time if you want to feel human.

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