Ex his gf and our kids

[Littlebutlost]

Hi.
Quick background : my ex husband of 14 years ended things 18 months ago. And started seeing a friend of ours within two. They've been together since. And he introduced her to our two kids 13/6 about 6 months ago.
I have nothing against them having a relationship or being together with the kids around. Obviously we all move on etc. And since then I have started dating someone also. But it's come to light recently that he will take the kids to her house for sleepovers. And this seriously got to me. It's annoyed me and not gonna lie. Made me cross. It's made me feel very uncomfortable. I would not let my partner sleep over while my kids are here. So it's not as though I'm holding him to double standards. As I would not feel comfortable with my partner sleeping over or if we were to sleep at his at any point. How do I deal / overcome with this without it creating a huge row and issue.

I’m afraid that unless the kids have said they are unhappy with it then you just need to accept it. I think you need to examine why you have an issue with it.

As above I think unless there is a specific reason for it not to happen you have to accept that is his choice.

How do the children feel about starting there? If they are ok then I can’t see there should be an issue... though of course I understand it feels strange or akward.

Honestly there’s not a lot you can do about it. His time, his rules. Unless you want him trying to have a say over what you do, you need to accept that this is how things work on his days.

To be fair as well, a strange man in their lives represents a very different set of issues to a new woman. In terms of danger to children, an unrelated male in their home is about as bad as it gets. Whereas an unfamiliar woman generally presents no real risk, other than potentially splitting their DF’s attention when they’re there.

If the DCs are happy or accepting of the situation, just let them get on with it. If they’re not, encourage them to speak to ex directly about what they’d like from their time with him.

It’s shit, but sadly that’s life after divorce