8 month old... where am I going wrong?!?!

[aoneandatwo]

My baby has just turned 8 months and has barely reached any of the 8 month milestones listed on Mumsnet (see attached pic).

The only ones she can do are standing with support from me and using pincer grip.

Also she still can’t sit unassisted for more than a few seconds before falling over, and rolls from side to side but not fully over.

Why is she so behind and what have I done wrong?!! I must have let her down somehow

It is very unlikely you have done anything wrong. Babies all develop at different rates and that is completely normal. Have you spoken to your health visitor about your concerns?

I believe the normal range for crawling is 6-10 months so I wouldn’t worry about that one.

Does she have lots of tummy time to encourage rolling?

I spoke to the health visitor a month ago and was told she will be assessed at the 8 month check. I don’t know if the check will still be going ahead though now (I’m in a tier 4 area).

Should I have practiced things like sitting up more with my baby? Could there be something wrong?

You haven't done anything wrong OP! And it's highly likely your baby is just taking her time. My daughter has been months behind every single one of her development milestones, and she's absolutely fine (just turning two). Speak to your health visitor if you're concerned about a particular issue, but I'd personally encourage you to avoid looking at what your baby "should" be doing, and just give her lots of time to explore.

@PurpleFlower1983 not really. She cries every time she’s put on her tummy so I don’t do it very much. When on her front, instead of rolling over she will eventually (after a few mins) just sink her head down to the ground and cry rather than trying to roll over

Having had two babies that list looks bollocks to me! Don’t worry about it (I know it’s easier said than done - I have worried about every milestone, current concern is that 17mth old isn’t talking) but they honestly do get there eventually.

Every baby is different, it's u likely you have done anything wrong. All develop at different rates. You can practice all these things with her if you like.

My daughter was walking from 10 months but would not (and still doesn't) sleep through the night, my friends baby didn't walk until she was 1.5 years old but slept through the night from 8 months

Both are completely normal and healthy

@aoneandatwo Have you got a roller? Mine hated being on her tummy too but I bought her a roller with loads of little mirrors and toys on it and she got used to it more.

@PurpleFlower1983 no, I’ve never heard of those! Will have a look.

My dd didn't walk until she was 19 months old. She just didn't want to.
She never "turned over" (much to the HV's dismay) because presumably she had no need to do so. She did however speak in full sentences at 12 months and issued orders to all and sundry.

She is now a healthy bright 18 year old succeeding in driving her mother crazy.

[quote aoneandatwo]@PurpleFlower1983 not really. She cries every time she’s put on her tummy so I don’t do it very much. When on her front, instead of rolling over she will eventually (after a few mins) just sink her head down to the ground and cry rather than trying to roll over [/quote]
I used to put mine in the bed and crouch down in front of her to begin with. I'd make it all fun and roll her over myself to begin with, then she would try and I would then transfer her to the floor with a fun/colourful mat so she wasn't just looking at a dog hair covered beige carpet lol

See it from her point of view. Her view of her favourite person and everything else has gone, she feels a bit helpless so she just sinks and cries.

Mine wasn't a massive fan of tummy time but she learnt to roll over ok

@aoneandatwo

www.elc.co.uk/learning-skills/physical-development/Blossom-Farm-Tummy-Time-Activity-Toy/p/540296

Ours was something like this x

"understanding the word no" ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I wouldn't worry, they develop in their own time. There's big age ranges for those actions. My DD crawled at 8mo, she was the first one to crawl from my NCT group by a good few weeks - she was also the last one to walk!

Also, try not to be too harsh on yourself, my DD rolled over at 4 months but then didn’t crawl until 10 months. She also wouldn’t hold her own weight to stand until about 11 months but then walked at just over a year. They do all develop differently.

You're not going wrong. As a PP pointed out, babies develop at different rates. Just keep enabling your baby to try new things out in her own time and try not to worry (they catch up eventually!).

I think my DS could only do about 3 of the things on that list at 8 months old. At the 12 month check he also 'failed' some of the items on the health visitors list but I knew that he was steadily advancing at his own pace and as a result I wasn't concerned. DS is now just over 2 and meeting developmental milestones nicely.

I’ve just had my baby’s 8 month check, it’ll be a really good opportunity to talk to the HV about your concerns. Mine doesn’t roll at all (v different from DC1) although she is close the crawling so I’m not concerned. She still came out fine in each area of the assessment and they never even mentioned some of the points on your list (pointing, moving from lying to sitting, understanding no - she doesn’t do these either yet anyway!).

You’ve not done anything wrong, (there are tips you can google for encouraging sitting and rolling although I’ve tried helping DC2 to roll plenty but she’s just not having it!) please chat to your HV.

Lots of floor time/time on a playmat to explore will help with the physical development so limiting time in 'contained things' like bouncy chair/jumperoo etc mine is 8 months old and can't do a fair few of the list so don't worry x

I had a lovely health visitor who said the thing she looks for is not so much hitting specific milestones but improvement in development over time, is your baby doing things at 8 months they weren't doing at 7 months, can you see developmental progress? :)

You haven't let her down or done anything wrong. These milestones are a rough guide but they do happen at a range of times. And I'm sure you're spending time engaging with her, cuddling etc which is the main thing.

Sometimes children do need a bit of extra help and that's where health visitors and specialists come in (not suggesting that's the case but just to reassure you that even if there is some sort of delay, there's lots of help available). For example, DS was nowhere near communication milestones when he was a bit older, we got some support and his speech and language has come on loads this year (but I remember feeling bad and wondering if I could have done more to help him, so I do understand how you're feeling). My friend's DS was delayed walking, he needed special shoes to help him but now he's 4 you wouldn't know there had been any delay.

It's easy to say with a slightly older child (and like a previous poster I still worry about things DS isn't doing) but they are all different and do develop in different ways. Just keep providing opportunities for her to try and move around on the floor and she'll get there in her own time.

That's quite a weird milestone list and doesn't really tally with most other lists I've seen! 8 months is very early for pointing, it's the hardest skill in the communication section of the 12 month check. Things like crawling and moving into the sitting position usually happen around the same time as most babies back up into sitting from the crawling position, and although the average age for crawling is 8 months I think anytime from 6-12 months is considered normal (and some never do!) ds was almost 10 months before he made the slightest attempt to crawl but he took his first steps a just before his first birthday. I'm sure your baby will get there when they are ready!

I agree with MrFlibblesEyes – that's a very weird list. The WHO says not quite half of normally developing babies are crawling (not necessarily efficiently!) at 8 months, and only 5% can stand without support. For the questionnaires the health visitors use, the pincer grip doesn't appear until the 10 month questionnaire (so your baby is ahead there!), and pointing until 12 months, when they are both 'hard' skills (the last or second last question in the section). I don't think pointing is considered worryingly late until 18 months.

If you want to look at the 8 month questionnaire, it's here: steeplechasepedi.com/wp-content/uploads/Forms/ASQ/ASQ-3-8-M.pdf. They don't expect all yeses; 4.5/6 or 5/6 generally equates to 'on track' when you look at the chart at the end.

Mine can do almost nothing on that list (he can do a half-arsed commando crawl, and I guess pincer-grip, ish) but frankly i think the issue is with the list, not the baby. Or me. Please don't worry.

@aoneandatwo

My baby has just turned 8 months and has barely reached any of the 8 month milestones listed on Mumsnet (see attached pic).

The only ones she can do are standing with support from me and using pincer grip.

Also she still can’t sit unassisted for more than a few seconds before falling over, and rolls from side to side but not fully over.

Why is she so behind and what have I done wrong?!! I must have let her down somehow

Can I ask how things are now xxx