I really feel for you op. It must be a dreadful situation to be in. Parenting is incredibly tough and to do it without feeling like you love your child must feel soul destroying.
I imagine it will be a bit of a cycle, she will deep down know how you feel about her and this will impact on her behaviour. She might feel you pulling away so will pull you close by needing you to co sleep with her for example. Challenging behaviour can be needs based.
I think to move forward you will both need some support, your daughter to manage her emotional well being and the impact that your feelings have had on her and you for how you feel.
Please understand that this is not meant to blame or shame you. Like I said it must be devastating for you to feel this way.
Positive change can happen but it will take the help of professionals to get there, sometimes we can get stuck and we need the helps of others to lead us forward.
Do think long and hard about foster care, although she may get what you deem better parenting, she will experience the ultimate rejection which will impact her on a long term basis.
I would suggest contacting childrens services though to see how they can support you. Childrens services always aim to keep families together and they will do what they can to support yours.
Again no blame or shame op. You have been incredibly brave admitting how you feel as its often seen as one of the ultimate taboo by others.