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Struggling with being a parent

21 replies

NohopeNochance · 27/12/2020 19:50

I know il get loads of abuse but here goes.....I really struggle with my DD....I always have, I didn’t feel that overwhelming sense of love like I did with DS.....she has been difficult and I’m struggling to cope with her behaviour and how I feel about her!
Her dad can’t be bothered with her either (although he makes out he does!).
I just don’t love her like a mother should.
I sometimes think maybe she is better off in the care system?

OP posts:
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OverTheRainbow88 · 27/12/2020 19:51

How old is she? Was she a particularly difficult baby/toddler?

Passthewinebottle · 27/12/2020 19:59

That's really tough OP. Have you spoken to your GP? Could PND be a factor?

Bourbonbiccy · 27/12/2020 20:00

You should not get loads of abuse at all.
You do care as you are reaching out for advice.

How old is she?
What are the main things you struggle with regarding her behaviour?
Is her father living at home ?

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NohopeNochance · 27/12/2020 21:23

No me and their dad split when she was a baby, she’s 10 now. And she is been hard work from the minute she was born. Or maybe I had it easy with DS.

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NohopeNochance · 27/12/2020 21:26

I have tried talking to various counsellors but no one seems to understand that I don’t love or have a bond with my child?!

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Ohalrightthen · 27/12/2020 23:03

When you say "hard work" what do you mean? Was she planned?

NohopeNochance · 28/12/2020 02:24

Yes she was planned but from sleeping to weaning and her general behaviour she has problems.
I’m lying in bed with her now to get her to sleep! I shouldn’t be doing this at her age!

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Wanderingstars4238 · 28/12/2020 05:45

It sounds like you might have some resentment towards her for being difficult. If you see her as a major source of pain in your life, that could be causing you to feel less affectionate with her--that makes some sense.
But I find it odd that you feel NO love, to the point that you'd consider putting her in the care system. I'm not judging, I just find that hard to fathom.
Does she seem to love you?

OverTheRainbow88 · 28/12/2020 07:40

I have two, and the youngest from day one was hard work, everything was/is a battle, he doesn’t sleep, barely eats anything, hits other kids, pinched me, runs off, is sooo energetic... etc. So I do understand how it’s easier to love the child who hasn’t caused you years and years of hard work and pain.

Bourbonbiccy · 28/12/2020 18:30

What are you struggling with her behaviour?

Do you show her love ?

It's a shame professionals can't help you, I'm sure she is better with her family than in care.

NohopeNochance · 28/12/2020 18:51

Her father won’t have her.
Yeah I know it’s hard for people to understand that I don’t love her but I have tried....even when she behaves.

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NohopeNochance · 28/12/2020 18:53

I’m struggling with the fact she won’t do as she is told, she doesn’t leave me to calm down when she winds me up, she is destructive, cheeky and I dread her being a teenager

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Babyblues12 · 28/12/2020 21:27

I really feel for you op. It must be a dreadful situation to be in. Parenting is incredibly tough and to do it without feeling like you love your child must feel soul destroying.

I imagine it will be a bit of a cycle, she will deep down know how you feel about her and this will impact on her behaviour. She might feel you pulling away so will pull you close by needing you to co sleep with her for example. Challenging behaviour can be needs based.

I think to move forward you will both need some support, your daughter to manage her emotional well being and the impact that your feelings have had on her and you for how you feel.

Please understand that this is not meant to blame or shame you. Like I said it must be devastating for you to feel this way.

Positive change can happen but it will take the help of professionals to get there, sometimes we can get stuck and we need the helps of others to lead us forward.

Do think long and hard about foster care, although she may get what you deem better parenting, she will experience the ultimate rejection which will impact her on a long term basis.

I would suggest contacting childrens services though to see how they can support you. Childrens services always aim to keep families together and they will do what they can to support yours.

Again no blame or shame op. You have been incredibly brave admitting how you feel as its often seen as one of the ultimate taboo by others.

NohopeNochance · 28/12/2020 23:03

Thank u so much @Babyblues12 your words mean a lot.
My daughter speaks to the school nurse who hasn’t picked up any issues and the professionals I have spoke to have been no help as they don’t understand.
My DD probs feels rejection now so foster care wouldn’t be a bad thing.
Or maybe if SS contact her dad then he might have to step up. But at the moment if I ask him then he won’t, even if his child is suffering

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Ohalrightthen · 28/12/2020 23:06

Be aware, if you give her up (which is hard to do) you will be unlikely to get her back easily, and you will ruin her life.

You may not love her, but surely you don't hate her that much?

SonEtLumiere · 29/12/2020 03:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NohopeNochance · 29/12/2020 18:29

I haven’t said this isn’t my fault, yes I am totally to blame.
And going into care may not be great for her but is being here unloved??

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NohopeNochance · 29/12/2020 18:31

I didn’t come on here to be told where I am failing! I know that. I know how I feel isn’t normal.
I have tried to speak to professionals but they don’t seem to understand, because it’s not normal!

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Postagequestion · 29/12/2020 19:14

I think it's a positive step that you have asked here for help.
Are there any times at all when you feel close, or if she is behaving OK or you feel proud?
Sometimes when things are bad, all we see is that badness and it washes away any small glimmers of good stuff too.
If there are any times like this you can think of, even the tiny moments, try and focus on them.
Try and remember she is good kid, and it's her behaviour at times which is unkind / unacceptable etc but at her heart she is good and remind her of that and tell her she is loved.
Fake it til you make it. If she does something good, or even just OK, loads of praise! Act like you love her even if you are not feeling it. The more you praise and reward good behaviour, then the more you might see.
I heard once that the more challenging the kid, the easier the teenager! I certainly hope that's true.
Be kind to yourself op, it's not easy.

SonEtLumiere · 29/12/2020 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohalrightthen · 29/12/2020 22:07

@NohopeNochance

I haven’t said this isn’t my fault, yes I am totally to blame. And going into care may not be great for her but is being here unloved??
If you put your daughter into care (which it's unlikely you'll be able to do) you will be TELLING her you don't want her.

Have you already told her that, OP?

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