Should I have another child? Advice needed please.

[Toastandtea1]

I posted this in AIBU but realised it prob belongs over here in parenting so ...

Context: I am happily married with one DD (3 yrs old). Have always wanted 2 children for as long as I can remember. Think I like the idea of child having a buddy to play with etc / don’t want child being only child (although saying that my husband is only child and is the most well adjusted person I know)

However... I developed several chronic illnesses over the last few years since daughter was born, one of which could be made worse by pregnancy/having a new born (or could be made better there’s no way of knowing). Also complicating matters, my first pregnancy with DD was hard. Mental health issues were triggered by severe sickness. It ended up being a complicated pregnancy with quite a traumatic birth with emergency c section.

I think part of me wanting another is to try again as it were, to prove to others (and myself?) that I am able to be “healthy-pregnant” (even tho I’ve got several chronic illnesses on the side). Hope that makes sense?

AIBU for wanting another child??

Children's well being is the main thing to be concerned about, and it's a risk to have a second. Personally, I think there are huge advantages to having just one, and you're happy now, so why rock the boat?

@HayJkl Clearly spoken by someone who hasn’t experienced the horror of HG.... I wanted to punch someone who told me it was “just 9 months” when it feels like you are literally dying every minute of the day.

OP, as mentioned above, you can seek support through PSS and planning ahead with your GP. I managed to survive a second HG pregnancy with a lot of support from my partner and early medication intervention from my GP. It was still damn hard and I was still bed bound for months, but mentally I felt better prepared for it. I am so happy to have our second little boy, but I am 100000% done with pregnancy now.