Could I have advice or a hug?

[OhToBeASeahorse]

I dont know how to parent a baby.
I'm an anxious, tired mess.

I have a 2 year old son and an 11 week old DD. She only naps in the sling and cosleeps on her side against me. At the moment, this is our day:
Wake up between 8 and 9 (because of cosleeping I wait for her to wake). DH gets up with DS around 6.-6.30.
Feed, change, but of play while I dress, then in the sling for a nap which lasts 2-2.5 hrs. We repeat this 3 times over the day.
When she wakes from her last nap (somewhere between 8.30 and 10.30) I go straight upstairs with her otherwise she gets over stimulated. Last feed then try to get her down. Usually she cries at this point. Get her down by 11 where she sleeps on her side facing me.

I'm fucking exhausted. My life is absolutely governed, every single minute of it. It was the same with DS.

Is this normal? I'm feeling low, Christmas is over and all I can see is months of this drudgery and fucking lockdown and shit weather.

It does sound normal, although that doesn't make it any less hard. Can you nap during at least one of the baby's naps to help you feel less exhausted? It will gradually get easier, hang in there!

Thank you. Problem.is that means me napping with her in the sling which I worry about but could try

I didn't enjoy the baby stage. For me, it is something to get through in many ways. It will get easier. Mine are 3 & 6 now, and hard work in different ways that I much prefer. Have a cupa from me

Very normal. The good thing is, now you know from experience that no parenting phase lasts forever. This too shall pass, so for now just lay low, don't expect too much of anyone, and remember spring is just around the corner. Lighter days, walks, and a baby who will have longer naps are all good things

Thanks everyone. I'm finding it all so suffocating

Mine napped in the sling, and then I would ease the sling off and lay down with her and have a nap myself. Or feed laying down so she fell asleep with me for a nap for the both of us. It was that afternoon nap that got me through I tnink!

This is witchcraft!!

She wakes if I move wrong forget taking her out the sling

Here’s a hug... I’m in the same boat. It’s brutal but it will get better x

Will she co sleep for a nap? I've realised that laying on my bed and feeding ds to sleep for naps then either dozing with him if I'm tired or rolling away when he falls asleep seem to be the way forward for us. He's 6 months now mind and still doing the same. Ds1(4) sleeps 8-7 pretty consistently at least so don't have to worry much about him

I feel the same. My baby will only nap in the sling. As you mentioned, I can't even move wrong or she wakes up. I have to keep bobbing around to keep her asleep which is draining. I feel a bit stuck as I have tried many times to put her down for naps... Sorry, no advice but I find it helps to know you're not the only one. Sending virtual hugs xx

When I had to keep moving around with mine napping in sling (especially in first lockdown with napping baby and two year old), I spent A LOT of time sitting on a giant Swiss ball so I could also be at the table reading/colouring in or whatever with the toddler.
The toddler has a learning tower so she can come and help cook while baby naps in sling.
It was easier in summer of course but you can get plenty of sling covers and big coats that will go round baby so you don't need to be putting their layers on and off - go out for a walk with toddler on bike/pushing pram/to playground whatever. When I just had one I walked so many miles with the sling - if I've had a bad night I find daylight, fresh air and exercise do more for me than trying to get naps and sitting down for rests (that are invariably never that restful because kids).
I wonder if the reason you are feeling so awful and as though you have months of drudgery coming up is because of all the restrictions (don't know about you, I'm tier four), horrid weather and lack of anything to do with a baby. Last winter it was much easier (when I was in the stage you're in) because I could meet with friends, go to soft play, toddler groups, walk round shops in town with friends, have my parents over... doing it all on your own without any groups or activities or company is what makes it so hard.
But as other have said this too shall pass. You've got this xxx

Thanks so much ladies. Its helpful to know I'm not a total fuck up!!

In lots of ways it's easier with DS around - if he wakes her up incan accept that it is just life.

Gosh its hard. This is definitely it for us. DH is looking into vasectomies. (Well, he only needs one!)

Funnily enough I always thought I'd have three kids until I had two. Then it was DH sent off for a vasectomy