letting my sister be independent

[looc4s]

i look after my sister and brothers most of the time. i really love them and with my dad not around and my mum struggling with both physical and mental health, i want to give them everything that i never got growing up. my little sister is four years old and started school this year. however, i still feed her, dress her and baby her a huge amount :( she’s incredibly attached to me (which i love!!) but, having her hang around with me and sometimes my friends who are all 17-18 makes it really difficult for her to talk to and interact with kids her own age. when i take her to the park she’ll often say that she’s worried that the kids her own age won’t like her and that she’d rather stay with me or hang out with my friends. is there any way to try and ease her anxiety around being with kids her own age?¿

Is she at school or nursery? Does she have friends there?

Yeah
She needs to be able to
Dress herself - if that means you pass her stuff to put on for a while then do that
Feed herself definitely - finger meals for a while

It’s probably quite confusing for her having her sister in the role of mother. It might be worth talking to nursery/school or her health visitor to ask for advice.

At 4 she should be dressing herself and feeding herself - that’s not to say it’s wrong to help her when she needs a bit of reassurance.

I mean this in a kind why you are still only 17/18 and are still growing up. Make sure you access all the support you can with your caring role. It’s important to people who are parenting to looks after themselves so they can look after little one. It’s good for your sister to see that you look after yourself as you are one of her role models and how you behave towards yourself is how she will treat herself when she’s is older.

@Thatwentbadly

It’s probably quite confusing for her having her sister in the role of mother. It might be worth talking to nursery/school or her health visitor to ask for advice.

At 4 she should be dressing herself and feeding herself - that’s not to say it’s wrong to help her when she needs a bit of reassurance.

I mean this in a kind why you are still only 17/18 and are still growing up. Make sure you access all the support you can with your caring role. It’s important to people who are parenting to looks after themselves so they can look after little one. It’s good for your sister to see that you look after yourself as you are one of her role models and how you behave towards yourself is how she will treat herself when she’s is older.

aha yeah, i'm actually her brother though!! she gets quite frustrated when she can't do something right the first time and although i'm very patient with her, she tends to just shut down :( i can't IMAGINE what it's like being a full time parent, i love her to bits tho

@ApolloandDaphne

Is she at school or nursery? Does she have friends there?

she is!! she has one person that she's friends with and i used to take them to the park together (before tier 4) but, she has a bit of trouble understanding the other kids

She is lucky to have you OP

You're a lovely brother. Are you accessing all the support you can? Are the GP and Health Visitor aware of the family's circumstances?

I think it's incredible that your brother and sister have you and most children go through phases your little sister will find someone her age that will click with her eventually give her time she's comfortable with you and that's lovely school will help her mix with kids her own age over time good luck hope all goes well and well done x

Do you have support for your own education? Dealing with a parent that is mentally ill is tough without feeling responsible for little ones. The more independence you can support your 4 year old to have, the easier they’ll find the transition to school. Nursery should be helping with that as well and you still have 9 months before school so don’t worry too much about trying to do things suddenly.