Breastfeeding worries

[kirstenkelly84]

I have a question that maybe sounds silly but I thought maybe others had been through similar and could help me.

I have a four year old son who I bottle fed and I'm currently 9wks pregnant with my second child.

I would quite like to try breastfeeding this time but I'm feeling a bit guilty because I didn't do that with my first. Do you think it will confuse or upset him if I were to breastfeed this baby?

I can honestly say it won't confuse him at all. I was FF and there's a larger gap between me and my DSis. She was BF and it didn't cause any problems at all. I can still remember cuddling her when she was tiny

That's not a silly question at all. The "fairness" conundrum never ends. I doubt your 4 yo would remember whether he was bf / not. If you're worried about him asking why baby doesn't have a bottle, you could explain that some younger babies have breast milk and others have bottle milk and some have a mix of both. At that age often mine accepted a factual statement. If he asks what he had, you could say bottles because you loved them so much and move on. La leche league might have some advice too - local groups are running on zoom. Congrats on the pregnancy.

I was FF and my siblings were BF - again, no problems. As an adult I'm glad that my mum was able to feed the way she wanted second and third time round because she didn't get what she wanted with me - I turned out fine, I think, but she felt very let down.
My kids are close in age and tandem feed but I have heard of older siblings who don't breastfeed or have weaned asking to try the milk so maybe just think how you'd handle that if it came up, you could give him a taste in a cup or say it is just for babies if you weren't comfortable.

GETs as much info as you can on BF, find a support network now, are their peer supporters in your area,. Look up association of breast feeding mothers and kelly mom. The more you know the better I think as unfortunately hv don,t always know theanswers or have the time. Don,t worry about not BF before.

@kirstenkelly84

I have a question that maybe sounds silly but I thought maybe others had been through similar and could help me.

I have a four year old son who I bottle fed and I'm currently 9wks pregnant with my second child.

I would quite like to try breastfeeding this time but I'm feeling a bit guilty because I didn't do that with my first. Do you think it will confuse or upset him if I were to breastfeed this baby?

No, not really. Most 4 yo’s will ask a few questions and once they see how boring breastfeeding is will go off and do their own thing.

I have my DN with me and I guess the situation is different but she was upset when I started breastfeeding as DS’ birth kicked off her insecurities about me. The first month I would breastfeed while cuddling her and involved her with the baby as much as I could but she soon got bored (doesn’t really like young babies) and naturally gravitated towards my DH for non-baby special time like going to the playground or baking or crafts. So even if he does have a problem with it there’s hope!

I have a similar age gap and it hasn’t been a problem. When my son asked I just said he had bottles but he doesn’t seem concerned that his sister is breastfed. I understand how you feel though- I felt guilty initially but I’m glad I was able to do it second time round.

I breast feed my first for 6 weeks and then moved to fomula and then I bt my second. DD1 was confused by bf just because she hadn’t really seen it much. Weird when I was pregnant and before we even know she would pretend to be a baby and role play breast feeding in the house, not pulling up my clothes or latching but just snuggling it.

I FF my first after 6 weeks and BF my second with a 4 year age gap. The 4 year old asked a few questions about ‘boobie milk’ (that’s what he came out with when we brought baby home so just rolled with it) and then carried on playing duplo. You don’t look around a nursery and know which way a child was fed, easybsaid but try not to worry about it. I did have to top up my 2nd with expressed milk/formula due to weight loss and jaundice and big brother did love helping give a bottle. Combi feeding is also a valid option it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.