Feel forgotten by health visitor system

[Alovelycupoftea88]

I don’t want to sound self-centred because I know that we are in an unprecedented situation and that many people have had an awful time during the pandemic. Saying that I often feel quite lonely and like I’ve been forgotten by the NHS. My baby was born in mid-March and I had a couple of midwife/health visitor visits in the first week but then obviously lockdown happened and then no contact at all.

He is nine months now and the only contact I’ve had is letters arranging his jabs. I have rung the health visitor phone line a few times (different people each time) and managed to get a weigh-in at eight months (the first since he was a week old) but other than that I have no contact with the system. His red book is empty. Am I supposed to be chasing them about this? Have I missed something? A friend has been told about ten-month check ups but I’ve heard nothing. I feel like maybe I’ve fallen into a grey area and have been overlooked?

Just wondering if anyone has a baby of a similar age and what your experiences have been?

I think you are expecting too much. Unless you or the baby has health problems or there is reason for some kind of concern you won't have scheduled visits.

My DC are 18 and 13 but even back when they were tiny, you were only visited once or twice after birth. After that the only contact was when I chose to take them to the baby clinic to be weighed or had a specific milestone checkup for vaccinations etc.

There just isn't the capacity in the system to do more than that.

Oh ok - it’s my first baby so I’m not sure what is normal. I’m just comparing to friends who seem to have more contact with the system but maybe that’s unusual.

Sadly this service is completely oversubscribed as are many public services. Is there another way you can access support with the loneliness. The only thing I can think of is online groups, nct? hopefully some wise soul will come along with some words of wisdom

My twins were born late April and we see the HV every 6 weeks but she is available over whatsapp and is v responsive. I am the exception amongst my nct friends though, most haven’t seen their HVs at all apart from once at the beginning. I think there is a check up at 9-12 months (think it’s in red book).

My DS is 3. Never had him weighed unless he went to the doctors for some reason. There is a check when they're 1. Fill in a questionnaire type thing that you get in the post.

I only saw mine a couple of times for my now adult DC's and only once for the younger.

I had a 6 month check but it was over the phone so not much use. I've definitely seen the HV less than with my first baby and I would be worried as a first time mum.

After the first year though contact does pretty much drop off unless there are specific concerns.

Thanks for the replies. Seems like maybe it’s normal. Just would have been nice to feel a bit more supported during the lockdowns but obviously there have been other priorities for the NHS this year. I will wait for the health check through the post.

My wee one was born in May and I've never met my HV, had 2 phone calls from her and that's it. I asked to get my LO weighed by the nurse at the GP when I took her to get her jabs, so I'd at least know she was on track for weight gain.

I blamed the pandemic at first too but it seems that it's always like this unfortunately!

My 4yo was seen once at 3 weeks old, once at 11mo and then his 2 year review. My 13mo was seen once after birth and then had a phone call at about 10mo. Red books don't have much in them really- mainly the immunisation records and with dc1 I diligently weighed him every month on the bathroom scales to fill in the graph at the back but dc2 I didn't bother.

My baby was born a month ago and all I got was a crappy phone call! At least you did have a visit.

I had a baby beginning of April seen my health visitor once there's been no weigh ins or anything I have a telephone call with a catch up on progress etc. Luckily for me it's my second baby so know what to expect etc so I do feel for those who have had their first baby and probably feeling a bit forgotten. Big hugs you will be doing absolutely great and so will your baby and to be honest you can get most of the help you need these days off mumsnet! I have to say it's been a lifesaver for me and it's people who are in the same situation!

Thanks for all the replies - sorry to hear that some people have only had a phone call! It’s reassuring to know that this seems pretty standard though and that I’ve not missed anything.

It seems really hit and miss depending on your area. I had my baby in August and have seen the health visitor 3x since and also about 3 phone calls. I can also text or call her whenever I need and ask for baby to be weighed whenever I want. I feel very lucky as it seems maternity and HV services in my area (northern inner city) have really tried to keep things going as much as possible.

You aren't missing out on much IMO. My baby born last December had 2 visits before being signed off. Told we could ring at anytime. 9 month assessment over the phone. Didn't find the advice particularly useful anyway especially around sleep.

@Yaty That sounds like an amazing service - I would really have benefitted from having the same HV I could text.

Chances are all you've missed out on is either out of date advice, judgemental comments and people not turning up when they say they will. So don't worry too much!

It does seem to vary a lot between areas, how many health visitors they have and priority cases tbh.

My ds was born just after there had been a major incident in the children's services in our borough in 2009. I didn't even receive a phone call and when I called after the 28 days to ask about the local situation re: swine flu, I received a badly photocopied sheet of info through my front door. And that was it.

I had friends and relatives who had lots of text contact with their health visitors and visits, and I could have really done with that support.

Otoh, a friend of mine became a foster carer to newborn babies a few years ago. She has had outstanding support from the same borough as me which was good to hear.

Health visiting services are stretched to the limit at the moment as they are one of the only services seeing patients face to face.

It's a tiered service, so you are offered visits depending on need unless you are in Scotland where they are funded properly!

It's been a tough year to have a baby that's for sure. Is there anything that is especially worrying you? Most teams have an advice line if you have questions and if you are struggling they still there to support you.

I think it's normal to only see the HV a couple of times when they are newborn unless there are any issues or you ask for additional support.
I had a baby in May and haven't seen HV once, just a couple of phone calls.

Sorry OP. Little or no HV contact is standard here. I got a phone call at the start and a questionnaire at about 1. I got a phone call saying my DS was behind on milestones and they were “very concerned” and would keep a close eye on us. Heard nothing since. DS is now 3.
Having said that I’m on an enhanced care pathway this pregnancy and have already had a call from my lovely sounding HV! I think that unless there’s a reason to keep an eye on you everyone gets ignored.
I don’t think HV actually offer anything, they’re just there to make sure nothing bad is happening to you or the baby.

Sounds like maybe I had the wrong end of the stick about the purpose of HVs! I just assumed that you would have regular clinics and that you would have a names HV to contact if you needed support. Makes sense that they would have a tiered system though given lack of funding. I think it’s just been a lonely year and I would have liked to feel that there was a support network there even if I didn’t need to use it, if that makes sense.

*named

@12098s

Health visiting services are stretched to the limit at the moment as they are one of the only services seeing patients face to face.

It's a tiered service, so you are offered visits depending on need unless you are in Scotland where they are funded properly!

It's been a tough year to have a baby that's for sure. Is there anything that is especially worrying you? Most teams have an advice line if you have questions and if you are struggling they still there to support you.

I think it varies area to area. Unless critical, our HV service is doing no face to face until 2021 at the earliest.

And there was more support pre covid to be fair. Baby clinic were the place to go generally which were mostly drop in for weighing and to ask all those question you have. Plus children centres were open and everywhere felt more accessible.

Everything is shut down at the moment and people are really feeling it.