6 weeks pp

[biscuit13]

Has my baby boy 6 weeks ago via emergency section.
I wanted this baby so much, but i am still very tearful, I feel overwhelmed at times and feel like all I do is feed him and not good at much else. I sometimes feel really disconnected from him, like I dont feel like he's mine and if he's crying... I feel nothing. But other times I adore him and cuddle and sing to him.
I also feel guilty for passing him to my husband a lot, I feel like I should be doing more, but in the moment I am struggling.
Is this normal emotions for the new baby stage?

That sounds like it could be PPD, have you spoken to your HV about how you're feeling?

@Ohalrightthen no, I've told her everythings fine. Im scared she will think im a bad mum.

[quote biscuit13]@Ohalrightthen no, I've told her everythings fine. Im scared she will think im a bad mum.[/quote]
She won't. PPD is incredibly common and it is her job to help you. Lying to her and continuing to struggle alone is not good for you, and not good for your baby.

Seven weeks post partum here myself and no, I don’t think what you’re describing is normal. It’s hard work, I’m exhausted and sometimes I’m very stressed but I’m concerned by your description of feeling disconnected. Please talk to someone about your feelings. No one will think you’re a bad mum and if you have some post partum depression creeping in, it’s absolutely not your fault. GPs and HVs want to know so they can support you, not criticise you.

@Ohalrightthen im seeing her on Thursday, I might mention it then. I've tried to say to husband how im feeling and he said its normal because its such hard work, and he doesn't want me thinking too much into it. He doesn't like the HV and doesn't want me telling her anything that could raise a concern.

@FizzingWhizzbee123 its not all the time, most of the time its lovely, I talk to him, play, take baths together, cuddle. But its every now and again I suddenly feel distant. It was a really difficult start, he was poorly so we had a 7 day stay in hospital and then he had a tongue tie so breastfeeding has been agony up until now. I have no doubt that those things have played a part in how im feeling.

I felt like you did and spoke to the midwife mainly because she happened to come round for the 10 day check when I was having a bad moment. They gave me some extra support and helped me talk to my DH about it and it really helped.

@user1493413286 oh really? What kind of extra support? I've spoken to husband about it but he doesn't think there's anything abnormal about how im feeling. Thinks its just where we are tired and if baby is being fussy.

I had extra visits from the midwife and then health visitor to see how I was/talk it through although that’d probably be phone calls now, they asked me to see the GP who offered me anti depressants which i didn’t want but did refer me for cbt which helped.
I think feeling overwhelmed and is tearful with sleep deprivation is normal but the disconnection pointed to something a bit more in my situation

I developed post partum depression at 3 weeks. I had a high risk of developing it due to my history so the hv & midwives were on the look out for symptoms.

My hv has been very helpful, I see her every couple of weeks and she arranged for me to see one of their early years workers to do baby massage to help with bonding and we have done some play activities too. My hvs do "listening appointments" where they come and listen to me moan about low mood and being a new mum which were helpful.

How you feel might be completely normal for your situation but that doesn't men you have to cope with it all on your own. Your hv will be used to hearing about mums struggling, especially at the moment when there is limited family support. I did disclose something that raised alarm bells as it was getting unusual thoughts and if things deteriorated I would need a higher level of support. They asked my partner to work from home for a couple of days until they could come and see me to assess my mood in person. They were happy with my level of insight and that the thoughts weren't a sign of significant deterioration and only minor tweaks to my care package was needed.

They only get worried about very extreme ppd and even then it is about getting you the right support and not punishing you.

@Superscientist thank you for sharing your experience.
So the HV was calling me every week to begin with, I think because I am already having counselling because I lost my mum to cancer in April.
I know I shouldn't have but I told the HV that I was feeling much better, when the truth is im still grieving, and still finding that hard.
I am doing lots of bonding things with my baby, did lots of skin to skin, we're breastfeeding, take baths together.
I think grieving along with a traumatic birth is why I'm feeling like this.

@biscuit13 I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I know it can be daunting opening up that conversation with HV after you said all is fine, but trust me, she will not judge. She is there to help you, don't feel like you need to battle this on your own.
In the meantime come join Late October support thread, there are a bunch of mums with babies of similar age to yours and a good place to vent if you need to 😘

Hard to tell from your description if this is normal (who doesn’t feel crap when the baby fusses and you can’t work out why), a hormonal dip, or something more lasting.

Speak to your HV, she’ll be with you in person so will be able to judge it better than we can over the internet. You’re not a bad mum for finding the newborn stage hard. I remember 6 w being really tough with my DD in terms of sleep and feeding - it was relentless! It doesn’t stay like that forever (nobody would ever have a second child if it did)

Hope you're feeling OK op, I'm 2 weeks post birth and feeling exactly the same!
It's baby number 2 and I wasn't like this with number 1 at all.
(but we had a bit of a tricky start with her being 4 weeks early, nicu, csection, covid rules at the hospital)
Im not enjoying her at all and just want to walk away from it all.

I'll say what i know will be said to me as hard as it is to own these feelings, talk to HV or GP.
They won't think badly of. You at all x

Bless you OP that's a lot to go through in such a short time. Definitely talk to your HV. They aren't going to think you're a bad mum and if they do think you could do with some support that's exactly what they'll offer, not judgement.

Have you had the tongue tie divided?

@Mc3209 I know I shouldn't have but I didnt say anything when she visited... she did the questionnaire thing and said my score was better than last time and that it was good and she's not worried. I didnt feel like I could say it then, she's very much a tick box person, it was all very specific questions.

@Ragdoll1 God its so hard isn't it when you've not had the start you thought you'd have. I have a debrief on the 7th Jan and im hoping that will make me feel better. I still look at my scar and feel so sad that it ended up in a section.

@BertieBotts I have to keep reminding myself of what I've had to deal with this year, which then makes me think maybe its just normal how im feeling. Yes we had the tongue tie divided and I felt great that we could move on, but its been a week and even though he is definitely feeding better I am still so sore and I had hoped I would be feeling better by now. Doesnt help that everyone (not DH) keeps saying "just give him a bottle then". I really don't want to do that so I find myself just putting up with being uncomfortable and telling everyone that I'm fine.