Basically I’d like to know if others think I’m being paranoid about MILs comments on weight loss? If not and there is something to it do you have any tips on how to respond?
So basically pretty much ever since I’ve given birth (10 weeks ago) my MiL has almost every time I’ve seen her brought up how she needs to lose weight. She’ll talk about how she can’t fit into her jeans, say she feels disgusting/horrible etc for carrying weight round her middle and talk at length about what she’s eating to lose weight (lots of meat, veg fruit). She also has referred to past instances where she had gained more weight (before I knew her) and said how disgusting she looked. The thing is she doesn’t appear to have gained any weight recently and this isn’t a topic she usually talks about (certainly not to this degree). I don’t know if this sounds crazy but I can’t help but feel like she’s actually indirectly talking about my baby weight and hinting that I need to diet. It’s been playing on my mind more as we’re bubbling with them for Christmas and I’m already feeling a bit self conscious about eating in front them (when I’d really like to spend the day pigging out).
For context the last time she stared talking about it my DH jumped in and started taking about his weight gain and making a joke about it. He hasn’t gained any weight so afterwards I asked him why he did that and he said he thought he try to deflect the situation onto him in case I felt her comments were targeted at me. And this was before I’d mentioned anything about my feelings/suspicions that it could be indirectly aimed my way. Also there are other instances where I feel she does make indirect comments designed to needle me. For example practically since week one when MIL asks how baby sleeps, we’ll say oh she slept 4-5 hours in total or she’s getting up every 2 hours. And almost every time (since week one) MIL has declared its either a really good amount of sleep we’re getting or that it’s more sleep than she gets. I don’t know, it seem weirdly competitive to claim you’re getting less sleep than parents of a newborn. Almost like it’s designed to provoke. Another example is that a few days after I gave birth I confided in her that I’d experienced a third degree tear and was struggling with the pain (usually wouldn’t share this kind of info with her but was still pretty hormonal). And her response was that she’d had one too and she hadn’t found it painful just a bit uncomfortable. I was pretty perplexed by this as I can’t really fathom anyone claiming a 3rd degree tear to be pain free. Again I couldn’t help but feel it was designed to wind me up.
On the other hand she does regularly day things like I seem to be a natural or that I’ve really taken to motherhood. So there are certainly those positives.
So yeah I’m wondering if it sounds a bit mad to read into the above comments too much or whether they do sound designed to provoke. If it’s the latter any tips on how to respond greatly received. On the whole I’d be feeling fairly positive about my postpartum weight loss (slow but definitely steady) but this is making me feel kinda shitty about it