Covid step parenting issues

[Mummymaddy]

First World problems, but I need to vent and get some idea of what other people think! I've recently had a baby, she was born 10 weeks premature and weighed 1kg. We've been home for 4 weeks after a long 8 weeks in NICU and SCBU. My partner and I have his kids every other weekend which is amazing, the only problem is their mum! After finding out yesterday that we are in tier 4 and we cannot leave our homes, my first Xmas with my special baby is pretty much ruined. My stepkids mum has decided the rules don't apply to her and she is going to stay with her family for 4 days over Xmas over 100 miles away 🤦‍♀️ im worried about the kids coming to stay with us directly after they come back... I don't want to be too precious but im so scared what could happen to my baby if she catches a cold let alone covid! Can I be the evil stepmother and say they can't stay or bite the bullet and hope they don't have any illness? Help!!!

Normally I would say step kids should carry on with contact as normal but in light of your baby’s vulnerability and the current situation wrt covid numbers I would insist on them not coming after staying with another family for 4 days. The risk would be too big for me personally.

If you'd had a full term baby with no health issues then I'd say keep contact with the kids but given that you have a very young vulnerable baby I think you have every right to shield her. Theres nothing wrong with being precious about the most precious thing to you.

I have the similar issues. My ex is taking our son to wales on 28th and inviting people and my step children's ex is carrying on as normal sleepovers etc despite being a teacher. My dad is cev and alone and I have had to decide to not see him due to this. Many people I know are catching covid in this last two weeks. I dont think there is anything we can do though?

I wouldn't have them stay.
And I think your well within your rights to say no.

The answer is simply NO

Your step children are unlikely to die from lack of contact with DF for Christmas ...your vulnerable baby has a much higher risk...

Thanks guys, sometimes you just need someone to tell you what your doing is right! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas (as much as you can!) X

I think you are right to say no OP.

He has a right to see his children and vice versa but I don't think you should have to put your baby at risk for people who are not following the rules

I would say they can go but then have to stay at mums for 10 days after they return before they come to your house.

Glad your baby is doing well 🥰

Your husband is suspiciously absent from all of this - is he happy with the risk to the baby?

She is, thank you!

He is obviously worried about the health of our baby, but understandably wants to spend time with his children over the festive period. He is happy with whatever decision is made, I just wanted to get an opinion that was not biased in anyway

Under most circumstances I'd say your stepchildren need to be allowed to visit as normal. However, your baby is vulnerable and your stepchildren's mum is making it impossible for contact to go ahead (and is incredibly selfish for doing so).

Please don't feel bad for protecting your baby. Your DH can make it up to his other children after Christmas.

@Mummymaddy

He is obviously worried about the health of our baby, but understandably wants to spend time with his children over the festive period. He is happy with whatever decision is made, I just wanted to get an opinion that was not biased in anyway

I think, seeing as all three children are his children, it needs to be him driving the decision. It isn't fair for him to put that on you, he needs to make the call.