Removal of parental rights

[Deathlyhallows28]

Hi all after some advice to give me an idea of what can be done. (Will also speak to a solicitor.)

My ex is on the birth certificate, slightly bullied to put him on and with the surname.

My daughter is nearly 8. His contact has been shocking dipping in and out of her life from newborn.
It was only until a few years ago I spoke to a health visitor and they said he needs to be given an ultimatum as he is damaging my child's mental health.

He wasn't to miss visits or calls. But did so.
He chose to go to a card competition instead of seeing her. Missed phone calls.
He be also went a year to years from having any contact with her.
Even now the last contact was over a year ago and he didn't ask how she was.

He's been told he can ask after her as much as he would like. But can't see her due to the emotional and mental health. (Daughter may have autism and ADHD. So needs routine and consistency)
He knew she was going through the process but has never bothered to ask.

Basically I don't want my daughter to end up going to him if I were to die. Is there anything that can be done?

She has a step dad. Who has become her dad. He raised her as his own from the age of 1. Has gone to every appointment, always asks after her (recently separated after 6 years together a mutual break up). Basically puts her before anything else like a caring parent would.

Upon my death I want her to go to him, she calls him daddy and even forgets that he's not her biological dad.

She doesn't like her birth father and wants nothing to do with him.

Has anybody gone through anything similar.

If it makes any difference he also got her a Sw as a baby due to neglect of his sisters when they were in his care. He was emotionally, physically, mentally and financially abusive towards myself. And his only interest of having my daughter when she was born was to get money and house from using her. Stating I could go back to work and pay him CS.

He claims he can't look after himself and has a partner who looks after him. So how would he be able to look after a disabled child?

Forget about any chance of having his parental rights removed. It won't happen.

I've been through this. Been in court re ex h behaviour. Our DC are disabled, attend special school, severe learning disabilities, autism, partially sighted.

He was violent, was arrested for threatening behaviour and possession of a knife, had a restraining order for harassment against my family and he'd been sectioned and spent 8 months in hospital.

I was told there was zero chance of getting his parental rights removed.

The best I got was a Cafcass report saying he was not to have direct contact with the children. £8k and 3 court cases later, the court agreed and he was told he can only write to the children.

After more advice, I was told to have a Will prepared which detailed who I did want to look after the children (I.e. definitely not him) and to leave a letter detailing why. I was told this was all I could do and he'd probably contest it.

Grim and I feel for you but I wanted to give you my experiences and hope this helps. Good luck

Making a will is the best way and setting up a trust for your child to ensure that any assets are secured for her only.
I would also see if you can get something in writing from the birth father (via his solicitor) waiving his parental rights to her should you pass away.
Whilst that is not set in stone if he ever tries to make a case to have her then having that sworn declaration from him will go against him.

Maybe ask him about giving up parental rights and your ex adopting her? If he’s not paying for her you could use this? Or tell him it’s a way to stop paying? I can’t say I know much about this, but a friend of a friend did it

Just to add my ex never paid maintenance/CMS. That was not allowed to be mentioned in the court case as anything to do with that has nothing to do with the welfare of the child in the courts eyes.

Two separate issues. Money is dealt with by Child Maintenance Service.

I was told if I mentioned his non payment in our court case, it would look very bad on me and like I was trying to get back at him for lack of financial support.