Am I a bad mum to be bored with my toddler?

[lamby12]

DD 2.5 and a handful. OH on 12 hour shifts and overtime due to xmas. I work 2 days and she's at nursery and OH has 2 days off, so it's only 3 days a week that I have wake up to bedtime on my own with her, but I'm bored to tears and just waiting for nap time/bedtime. Struggling more each day to be motivated with energetic play...

I think I've just maybe had too much 121 time this year as I was furloughed for 4 months and nursery closed so we had every day together. Feels like we might be back there in Jan!

Due to Covid (tier 3 since pretty much throughout where we are) not much to do or anywhere to go.

It's just a moan really, but am I a bad mum or do others feel fed up at home with a toddler now? Struggling for the energy/will to get out exploring... anyone else just staying at home a lot?

I'm bored as hell with mine at the moment

I have a girl who has just turned 2 and a 6 week old. I am at home alone 5 days a week with them. I feel your pain. I HATE the roleplay thing. I will read endlessly to her, do flashcards, draw, but I am useless at actually playing. I just leave her to it and DH comes home and does bits with her. I am one of those mums who gets out every single day, even though it takes me 30 mins to leave the house with the newborn, just because it's the only way I survive the day with her. If I dont, we both go insane. She just gets so bored and throws epic tantrums. Its completely ok to hate playin with them. It is very boring and irritating, especially when they have a specific idea in mind and expect you to be a mind reader.

I live in hope that one day my girls will just entertain themselves and I can drink wine in the kitchen in peace 😂

I understand OP. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Here are some indoor things we do:

-Have a 'picnic' (blanket on the floor at snack time, invite the teddies)

-Get some tents and a ball pit out (from amazon) and make and indoor soft play.

-Build towers out of blocks and knock them down.

-play doh (requires supervision to prevent eating it!)

• Get all the pots and pans out to bang on (great if you need to make food).

-Go to the Starbucks drive through (not technically indoors but you don't have to keave the car) through, older one loves a babychino.

Apologies for typos, new phone, no clue how to work it 😂

I'm very much an out & about mum, as PP said, the time goes quicker. We get out at least once a day - usually to the park but we do errands, pop to the supermarket etc. We'll often walk to the further away shop because I know it takes about an hour at toddler speed to get there and back!

I do a toy rotation every 2 weeks so I'm not stuck with the same toys all the time. We usually do crafts a couple of times a week. I use TV time as a break so I can have a cup of tea (and mentally prepare for more "play shop mummy"). I normally do the housework first thing so DD has to do independent play then unless she wants to help out!

This is why I had no issue with working FT and having an amazing childminder who was fantastic with toddlers.

It's a great age if you can get out and about with them. My kids are older now but I can remember lots of activities and I guess you're very limited on them now. Try to structure an activity into each day, even if it's just a walk.

Aw I was reading your post thinking I miss my little toddlers! But, I think talking is the key, mine were total chatterboxes (like me) so they were good company.
I would really focus on the talking (I never did baby talk, just talk to them normally) and she'll talk more, get less frustrated and be easier to be around. You don't need to do a million activities, cbeebies is fine, try watching the baby club and join in as a starting point.

I was like your friend. I was always out. The boredom is worse than forcing a toddler into shoes and coat and heading somewhere, anywhere. They would happily go and feed the ducks and go to the park every day. Boring for you, but you have a phone I imagine!! Just get into a routine - alarm goes at 10am, time to head out to the park. It may take an hour to arrive but fine, that's time taken. Set off home 11.30 and prepare lunch. After lunch, same...2pm head out to feed ducks/go to shop/find a friend outside. Rinse and repeat. You'll feel less guilty even of it's a touch harder. Also, set up your routine and then send a group message each day to your mum friends saying "I'm going to X location at X time". After a few days of doing that, they will be there too I promise!!

Thanks for all the replies! Makes me feel so much better to know I'm not the only one that feels like this.

I know we need to get out more and I need to make the effort to do more trips out for the sake of it, supermarkets etc, because I probably am making it harder for myself! I think I'm just having a phase of total fed up-ness with the whole situation and struggling to muster up the oompf for the basics.

She's always surprisingly good when we do go anywhere - we went to sainsburys today and she listened to every instruction, whereas at home she goes out of her way to defy me. So I need to give her more of a chance out and about.

I'm just all round fed up, like I'm sure we all are. Too much time together on our own I think - she's defiantly sick of the sight of me. Daddy gets a celebrity welcome when he is actually here.

Thanks to everyone who has given tips and suggestions, I'm going to make an effort to 'do more' with her in the hope that it will make the days easier for me too. Never thought I'd be desperate for play centres to open...! X

@lamby12

Thanks for all the replies! Makes me feel so much better to know I'm not the only one that feels like this.

I know we need to get out more and I need to make the effort to do more trips out for the sake of it, supermarkets etc, because I probably am making it harder for myself! I think I'm just having a phase of total fed up-ness with the whole situation and struggling to muster up the oompf for the basics.

She's always surprisingly good when we do go anywhere - we went to sainsburys today and she listened to every instruction, whereas at home she goes out of her way to defy me. So I need to give her more of a chance out and about.

I'm just all round fed up, like I'm sure we all are. Too much time together on our own I think - she's defiantly sick of the sight of me. Daddy gets a celebrity welcome when he is actually here.

Thanks to everyone who has given tips and suggestions, I'm going to make an effort to 'do more' with her in the hope that it will make the days easier for me too. Never thought I'd be desperate for play centres to open...! X

Hope you feel better OP. I really sympathise. I love my kids but I feel like my "mumming" has been depleted.

Solidarity! Have a 2.5 year old 2 days a week on my own (which isn't even much compared with some) but I still find it v tough. He doesn't stay still for a second and we can easily have done colouring/ Duplo / pretend cooking before 8am. Knackered!
Like someone else has said, I find it helps mentally to break the day into chunks- helps stop us listlessly staying at home trying to find something to do.
Also, it might help you just to know that not everyone loves every minute of having a toddler- you can love your kid and not love the job. Before I kids I hated staying home, was pretty busy and active, so the enforced stay at home and do crafting thing has really been tough this year.
It sounds like you're doing great - cut yourself some slack x

I only have sole charge of mine 1 day a week and even then I sometimes felt bored during lockdowns/tier 3, especially if she was acting up a lot and/or there was bad weather. I don't drive either so it's never been possible to take her on many new and interesting trips. None the playgroups and free things I used to take her to on 'my' day with her are open anymore or things like museums have removed all the interactive children's bits so they don't hold her attention anymore. And a few of the businesses have closed down for good, permanently. You have my sympathy!

I havent RTFT but if you're tier 3 if you drive too, some suggestions maybe:

• Playgroups - can these run as support groups like during national lockdown? I think they can, so there may be some around? Ask around churches and children's centres.
• Swimming - the pools should be open still in tier 3 I think?
• Parks and other open spaces like national trust etc, if you can drive just try visiting as many different outdoor play areas as possible but I know that's not feasible a lot of the time now with the weather. For us the cold doesn't put me off but my DD now has sometimes started complaining of being cold and asking to go home, and we live in a v rainy part of England too where it has rained part of every day for the last month or so I think grr. Try and invest in clothing to support winter outdoor time like big winter coats, waterproof coats, wellies, welly socks/Welly liners, hats, gloves, puddlesuits etc! My DD does love jumping in puddles hah. Also can alternate take different things out e.g. one trip take a ball, next trip take bubbles, next trip take balance bike or a scooter if they have any etc. DD also loves feeding ducks/birds/squirrels too.

Try toy rotation so your child is more excited about playing with the toys.

Some tv is ok ;) cbeebies/iPlayer is a good option or Daniel Tiger on Netflix.

Try to get out of the house, go for a walk or ride a bicycle (balance bikes are great)

I have 3 kids..... it's tough