Post baby blues

[Ragdoll1]

I'm 10 days post birth and today I haven't stopped crying.
I had a particularly tough induction that ended in a Cs as she had moved to transverse during!
And then an awful time on the postnatal ward, with baby in nicu, no visitors.
All curtains closed around me, only seeing midwifes when they want to give tablets or do BP.
So lonely and isolating.

She had apgar of 3 when born and needed help, all turned into a bit of an emergency to get her out when her heart rate dropped.
I keep getting flashbacks of theatre, and it's upsetting.
I'm so worried about something happening to her, she was 4 weeks premature, 2.4kg.
So tiny.
Only had a day or so in nicu and doing well at home so far.
Altho I haven't had any extra support in the community with her.
I don't see HV until 14 days and have only seen midwife twice.

I'm hoping it's just a bad day. And this doesn't carry on.
Had any one tips on coming to terms with a traumatic birth?

This is second baby and my first was such a different experience. I think that's why I'm feeling worse this time round.

Time. It takes your brain 6 weeks to deal with a traumatic event and longer if your sleep deprived. In the future if you need it you have can counselling and/or use birth reflections service. For now you treat yourself like you’re the newborn as much as possible, plenty of nutritious food, rest ( I know as much as you can with a newborn), cuddles, crappy TV, a bit of daylight if you can manage it, brush your teeth twice a day, a nice daily shower and lots of compassion and low expectations. You will get through this in the mean time it’s fine to cry. Are you bf? Is your milking coming through?

I would talk to the Birth Trauma Association about your birth and hopefully they will help you through all of this mess.

Although I've realised that the phone line isn't open until Monday. I'd perhaps call the PANDAS Foundation today. Their phones are answered from 11am to 10pm today although the earlier you call, the more likely you are to speak to someone today

I cried for a solid week, perhaps even longer. Anything and everything set me off. Whilst your birth was traumatic (you have my sympathy as mine was very similar to yours) your hormones are now going nuts.
If it carries on you may have PND so definitely speak with your midwife if she hasn't signed you off yet or call the HV. She may not have seen you yet but it doesn't mean you can't call them.
Hope you're ok ❤️

How are you getting on today @Ragdoll1?

@jingleJohnsJulie
Much the same thank you for asking.
I had a few better days, but back to rock bottom again today.
Cannot stop crying, again for no reason.
I just don't want to be here, I've no intention, because I love the kids and OH too much, but it does cross my mind that I'm useless, doing everything wrong (baby colicky at night, nothing I do soothes her), that the kids would be OK without me around.

It's worse today as it should be a happy day, and it's not.
I can't even pretend to be happy.