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Original poster

'Poo' trouble

10 replies

MrsBigD · 24/10/2004 18:42

Hi there,
I know I'm not the only one who's got problems with their little ones not doing a #2 on the potty or toilet, but I've got one rather startling development lately I was wondering someone else has come across and found a 'remedy'... my little girl, 3 in December, has no issues with going #1, in fact when we're out and about an she spots a public convenience she loudly declares that she wants to go 'peepee'. But for #2 she still insists on putting a nappy on or she simply won't go. If I ask her whether she has done a #2 she either says no or, and here it comes... turns around and wiggles her bum in a rather cheeky manner at me with an enormous giggle. I'm trying to keep a straight face and keep telling her that next time she has to use the potty, at which stage she runs off screaming. I've tried a reward chart with sticky stars for a #1 (so she get's the idea) and a barbie if she does a #2. Even that kind of elaborate bribe hasn't had any effect. Can anybody sympathise/help/advise? P.S. I now also have a 6 week old boy, and I had expected some regression after his born, however, all this started well before he arrived. Cheers

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Skate · 24/10/2004 18:47

MrsBigD - hmmm, we had this trouble too but it all started with ds1 when he got quite constipated, had a really bad time on the toilet once and that was it - never again would he go near it. I thought the best thing to do was not to make an issue of it so just kept putting a nappy on him if he wanted a poo or he'd wait until he had it on at bedtime and do his poo then!

In the end, one day he needed a poo and, as usual, I suggested the potty, he said no. I said, OK, just sit on it for a few mins for me then I'll get your nappy - no. I practically forced him down onto it and held him there. I felt incredibly cruel but was reassuring him, hugging him all the time while he cried but I knew he wasn't constipated so his poo would come out easily. It did, he stopped crying, we gave masses of praise and no word of a lie - he has done every poo on the potty since. NEVER wants to do it in his nappy again.

I feel it would be very 'un-pc' of me to suggest you do this so I won't, BUT, just so you know, it worked for me and he is not in anyway emotionally scarred!

Skate · 24/10/2004 18:48

BTW, ds1 was 3 and a couple of months when this happened and we left it a couple of months before the 'forcing' incident.

kalex · 24/10/2004 19:05

Skate,

I did exactly the same thing, but was too scared to post, too unPC, but as with you it worked, as soon as he did it huge smiles and tears (mine), we hav never looked back,

It was the look of relieve on his little face, it was like "oh that was OK, a big bad monster ddidn't eat me"

Holding him onto the potty in a hug/vice like grip was not nice. But it worked.

If you are going to give her a Barbie, make sur there is one in the cupboard, so that it is an immediate reward, rather than, " We shall get one when we are out" Even take her to the shops tommorow and choose one, buy it and then "the horror of the poo" can quickly be forgotten. Hope I am of any help.

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Skate · 24/10/2004 19:09

Thanks for that Kalex - didn't know how people might respond but just thought it worth posting the truth!! As I said, I didn't harm him and was very reassuring and cuddling him the whole time. I knew that the only way to overcome his fear of the potty was to get him to go on it and poo easily!!

Like you said, his little face was a picture - big smiles and 101% chuffed with himself that he'd done it and now he has no problem at all.

In fact, he positively adores it now he has his own Kandoo wipes!!!

Original poster

MrsBigD · 25/10/2004 10:09

Dear Skate & Kalex,
thanks for your advice. Will give it a go with the 'bear hug' soon if 'verbal persuation' doesn't work. Strange thing is that DD never hat a traumatic experience so god knows why she's not doing the #2 except for maybe that it takes too long - she's a bit of an impatient one. As for the Barbie... I've got a few stached away in a cupboard which I got cheaply off ebay ...

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Lonelymum · 25/10/2004 10:29

Gosh is that un-pc? I did it too with my daughter, who had an anal fissure for months (actually over a year, I think) and who couldn't be potty trained for all that time because of it. In the end, I knew the fissure had healed and she had to be "forced" to take the first step. She has been fine ever since.
MrsBigD: has your dd always been like this, ie never done a poo in the potty? I had a friend whose dd was the same and always had to have a nappy. Unfortunately, I don't know how they broke that habit. I just thought, if your dd has always been like this, I had read about children who are afraid of pooing because they feel a piece of them is falling off, hence they do it in a nappy no problems, but won't go on a potty where they can feel it dropping off them. I think the advice for that was not to push your child, reassure them, but let them know that a nappy isn't acceptable so they don't think they can carry on with it forever. HTH.

Original poster

MrsBigD · 25/10/2004 10:45

Dear Lonelymum,
DD did a poo once! in the potty about 4 months ago and I made a big fuss with praising etc and then ceremoneously flushing it down the toilet, which DD thought was absolutely fantastic waving 'byebye' with a big grin on her face, hence my trouble understanding why she didn't keep going. Especially as she's fascinated with 'poopoo' and always wants to look at it in her nappy, and even 'worse' when my husband or I have 'been'.
Oh and I don't think the 'bear hug' is non PC either, they need to be 'reassured' sometimes. When my DD has a major tantrum with flailing arms and legs the only way to stop her (not only from hurting herself!) is to grab her and hold her very tightly - to the demise of my poor ears as she can screach like a banshee!

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Lonelymum · 25/10/2004 10:48

Oh no, I meant was forcing your child to sit on the potty and poo un-pc. Sometimes I do think you have to make your child do some things they don't want to because you know it will be better for them in the long run. It is daft to call it un-pc. Anyway, I don't mean you to do that MrsBigD if you don't think it would be right. I guess you will just have to keep mentioning that Barbie! I must say, that would work every time with my dd!

Original poster

MrsBigD · 25/10/2004 11:01

Oh I agree completely... sometimes 'mum knows best' and the little nipper has to be 'forced' for his/her own good. Only of course if you can bear the banshee screams. A bit of tears never heard anybody. I think all this pc stuff is being taken way too far anyway! Don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer of not hitting children but restraining is definitely o.k. in my book. Nowadays there are so many things considered non-pc that one feels incredibly inapt as a parent for e.g. even just shouting at your kid when he/she push you that little bit too far for the umpteenth time...

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Worrylady · 13/12/2004 18:04

Help!

My 2 year old has been getting used to being an only child but now I'm pregnant she's started rebeling. She refuses to go to the loo sometimes which ends up in a wet situation, She poos in the bath and sometimes in bed.This is becoming a problem as I'm going to have a baby in a few weeks
HELP!

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