Struggling

[Shield1990]

Hello All, I was looking for advice if possible.

I have two gorgeous girls - 3 and 1 years old, they are beautiful but like most small children are challenging and sleep can be a rare and wonderful thing.
My husband is amazing and so helpful and such a great loving dad.

I am back at work after a year of maternity leave,and I have amazing colleagues and appeared to be doing well.

On the inside though I am finding things so tough, I feel like I';m a terrible mother, I get so frustrated when my daughter isn't sleeping at night - she's always been a great sleeper but teething and sleep regressions have well and truly hit, I am snappy and awful to be around.

My husband offers to help and give me a break (we take turns getting up) but I just get angrier as I feel guilty for being so useless.

I honestly feel no one would miss me if I wasn't here, my daughters deserve a happy, patient mum who can actually do crafting or cook or be more useful than me. All i seem to be able to do is play with them p- all my other mum group friends do sensory things and amazing trips with their kids it feels like whereas I'm struggling to get through the days.

I am grateful for work which gives me respite which sounds awful but then feel like i'm pedalling frantically to keep up forgetting bits and pieces. I work my backside off logging in after hours to make sure I am up to date and just don't feel like it gets me anywhere.

JUst struggling , my family aren't overly close and my PIL are fantastic but in small doses.

When i try to take time for myself I feel guilty or struggle to know what to do.

Just feeling overwhelmed and sorry for myself i guess. Anyone else feel the same? Just worried I'm not teaching my three year old what she needs (my friends had their kids writing at the same age), or my one year old - I don't do enough sensory things for her but they do go to nursery. I know that's not me though and that I should be doing more.

Sorry for the moan.

The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to stop feeling guilty. It will put you in a better mood to start with and it will be much easier to enjoy the time you do spend with your children.

Working and having small children is hard! I work 3 days, have a 4 and 2yo and am pregnant with dc3. If you're full time I'd be impressed at the house being kept on top of and everyone being fed (and I do mean between you and DH).

A 3yo writing is not developmentally normal. Comparison is the their of joy and all that

You really need to stop comparing yourself with other mums. “Just playing” is really important, more so than getting ahead on academics (and I say this as both a teacher and someone who tends to accidentally put too much emphasis on academic stuff in my own parenting!). Playing with your daughters strengthens their bond with you, which is SOO important. It builds a foundation that gets you through the teenage years. Toddlers/preschoolers also learn best through play - you may not be dg sensory stuff, but playing with them will increase their vocabulary and improve their sentence structure/grammar. It will introduce them to new experiences. Role play games are crucial for toddlers to learn manners and how to express themselves in a variety of different situations. Never underestimate “just playing” - it’s one of the most important things you can do for your child.

Sleep deprivation is shit. But you’ve already got one child, remind yourself that it doesn’t last forever and you’ll get past this (need to take my own advice in this!)