Hi, I would like some non judgemental advice. I’m a mum to two beautiful strong willed little ladies...
Me and my Husband have been separated for near two years. He left after 10 years and quickly got into a relationship within 3 months, whilst still having a active part in what I did with my life.
I was a mess for a long long time. We both said and did things we regretted. Long story short we got through it and were on goods terms beginning of this year when the pandemic hit.
Prior to this he was between living at his mums and his girlfriends bedroom. He had the girls every other Saturday at his mums and saw them a few times during the week. Since the pandemic hit his mum decide she did not want the girls in the house. (This was for her own personal reasons, but she felt no problem travelling 50 miles to see her other grandchild, a thread I won’t start pulling at)...
Anyway as the rules stated children could still travel between co-parents, he didn’t have anywhere to go. So I let him use my home, to have the girls. I would go out for a run, shopping, go and sit in my mums back garden for a cuppa..literally find something to do so I could leave my own home and he could spend time with his girls.
This has gone on since April. But things have hit a wall. I started having to clean up mess he would make here when he looked after them, when restrictions eased he went away twice for a break giving me less than a weeks notice to cover his day of childcare... He would rock up on his scheduled Sundays at midday (when technically if it was his Saturday evening beforehand to have them, I’d of thought he would have come early to give me my well deserved break)...
I’ve worked full time whilst trying to home school in between and also tried to live my life the best I can, with my ex coming over 2/3 times a week to use my house to have the kids...
At no time during this pandemic where the girls allowed to stay over at my ex’s mums.
Now Xmas has hit, all of a sudden she is allowing the girls over because “it’s Christmas”...
I have an issue with this, as my children aren’t an accessory and the pandemic hasn’t gone anywhere so why she now feels the need to allow my children over and I have to spend Boxing Day without them.
When I tired to speak to my ex about why I wasn’t happy with this as I felt the children where being used as it’s Christmas, the response, wasn’t nice. I got called a few choice words from him infront of my daughter. Because if this I’m not not allowing him in my home, as I refuse to be spoken to like that and feel intimidated by him.
Problem is he is now giving me the silent treatment and will not respond to my messages regarding gifts for the children or arrangements on his day.
I’m feel so anxious that his is planning something malicious, like try to take me to court or something. I have nothing to hide, I don’t stop him seeing the girls at all, I just had an opinion about Christmas plans that he didn’t like.
I’m also worried he will stop Maintenence payments which will really cause trouble for me financially.
I know it might sound like a really trivial thing to get worked up about. But my anxiety kicks in when I don’t know plans, what’s happening...
I have no idea what to do. Never in a million years did I think I’d raise my girls as a single mum, the climb has been stressful but me and the girls for there...
any advice would be great, anyone been in a similar situation??
Thanks mummy’s....xxx