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4 replies

Hopeful5million · 14/12/2020 22:06

Just wondering if I’m being unreasonable here, lunch at the in laws with partner and 7 month old, after lunch take my baby into the next room and breastfeed him for 10mins (so far he has one purée meal a day about 11am, rest breastmilk), go back to table and father in law is frowning at me and says “shouldn’t you stop doing that now?” I said “erm doing what?”, then he goes on to ask me how long I plan to do “that” for and tells me I won’t pull myself together as long as I’m doing that. I responded by telling him that until a year old a baby has milk and so on, but now I’m really annoyed with myself for justifying breastfeeding my baby to him. I just think it’s so inappropriate for my father in law to comment on me feeding my baby. My partner just rolled his eyes at his dad but he wasn’t really vocal in telling him to mind his own business. I mentioned it to my partner just now and said it made me feel uncomfortable and he just said yeah my dad doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but my partner isn’t very supportive in coming up with a strategy to deal with his dad, he even said that I am being too sensitive if I let it upset me and he doesn’t seem to agree with me that these are inappropriate questions from his dad. There’s obviously two issues here, one my father in law and two that my partner isn’t very supportive when it comes to dealing with his parents. This is just one example, I feel like the in laws are constantly questioning me or trying to takeover. I know you can’t comment overall without knowing more, but am I being too sensitive on this issue, is it a normal conversation topic? Thanks for any opinions :)

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Fishfingersandwichplease · 14/12/2020 22:34

Not being too sensitive at all - none of his business when you choose to breastfeed until. Personally l think a year old is a good age to wean them off it but again that is my opinion and l would never dream of telling someone else what they should do!! DH needs to have your back. Fgs baby is still little and l assume only recently started on solids!

Thatwentbadly · 15/12/2020 08:24

I think for the PIL you need to go broken record and have a set phrase eg “It’s our baby so we will decide what’s best for our baby” and then if you want add the reason why eg the NHS and WHO recommend breast feeding until at least 2 years old and due to being in a middle of a pandemic they are suggest people don’t wean

JingleJohnsJulie · 15/12/2020 08:33

Agree, I'd just keep saying "it works for us" or "BFing is recommended fir a minimum of two years@ and change the subject.

can you tell that I had a similar relative when I was BFing...

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MaMaD1990 · 15/12/2020 08:53

Love interfering in laws who know it all (especially a man and breastfeeding!). I would be blunt with DP and ask that next time he backs you up or has a word with his dad about his behaviour. I would also be VERY blunt with his dad if he ever questioned your choices again. Do not justify anything you do with your child and simply tell him, its none of his business. He'll soon shut up.

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