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Step families

2 replies

rochelle01 · 14/12/2020 20:05

Im so annoyed at my husband. sick of him lying to me. He has an 8 year old to his ex gfriend. They have been split up since he was born. We have a 5 year old together. He gives his ex £250 a month for his son and we have him every other weekend and extra in hols etc. Anyway a few weeks back his son was here and wanted to spend £25 on something for his play station so I heard my husband say well you have got it upstairs in your tin so up he went. So later on my husband put the money on the table and said thats that money for his game, he has used his money left over from his birthday which was at the start of the year. Now I know that jar was empty a few weeks before because I tidied up my step sons room. Anyway I didnt say anything. So again the tin was now empty. Today im in another room and I hear him on the phone to his ex and son. His ex had called to say their son wanted to spend his pocket money on something for his play station. So when I enter the room, I asked why she had called. He said oh to spend that bit of money he has left in his tin. So I said oh what money, he spent it. He said it was money for getting good grades in his spelling. Then the next minute he tells me its pocket money. So I said how much are you giving him he said £5. He then starts getting shirty with me saying well I buy for our daughter. I said yes I do, you give your ex £250 a month plus we buy his clothes for here. I sell my daughters stuff on facebook for a few quid and buy her toys more age appropriate, again from facebook for a couple of quid. Whats annoyed me is that he hasnt discussed it with me but from the conversation with his ex, he has with her. One minute I get told I dont get involved enough with his son, (I sat and wrapped the presents for his mum that we paid for at the weekend with him) in the next breath Im getting left out of conversations. When our daughter is older she is going to earn pocket money not just get it given to them like he is clearly doing. He doesnt get his son to pick up after himself or anything and im so bloody annoyed, he cannot understand why and sees it that I just dont want him to give his son money. Any advice please? As im out of the loop with the three of them I dont know if its £5 a week or £5 a month but money has been appearing in his magic money tin for weeks! And whats his mum going to do pocket money wise, also give him £5 and how often! We are married and Im sick of him not discussing things like this with me yet throwing it in my face that Im not involved enough with him.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 14/12/2020 20:46

Is he actually refusing to tell you how much pocket money he give his son? Do you have separate finances?

rochelle01 · 14/12/2020 21:14

Hi Lunar1. We have joint finances. We both work full time. He hasnt told me anything. We stopped talking about it as our 5 year old was in the room and he was getting snappy with me. Ive just come down from putting her to bed, so maybe Ill get it out of him later, I just can't be bothered to have a row because thats what it will turn into. He will think he has done no wrong, I say he has. Its not the first time Ive been the last to know something. He just doesnt learn!

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