8 year old still in pull ups at night

[WineIsMyMainVice]

DD8 is still in pull ups at night! We’re getting to the point where all usual supermarket pull ups are starting to leak as she gets older. We’ve tried everything! But they are still sodden in the morning (if we haven’t all been up in the night as they’ve leaked so we’ve had to put a new one on.)
I’m trying to get her to drink loads during the day so that she can stop an hour or so before bed. But it’s so hard when I pick her up from after school club and realise her drinks bottle is only half empty! We’ve talked about it a lot and she wants to be dry at night but she says she just forgets to drink at school.
It’s driving me crazy! Anyone else had any similar issues or got any advice please?

Have you taken her to the doctor? I believe that over 7 years of age they won't just fob you off and tell you it will happen soon. She is quite old to not be dry at night, irrespective of at what point in the day she is drinking liquids. I would first try and discount a medical problem.

I don't really have any advice...but had similar with eldest DS who was in pull ups at night till he was around 13.

We were under a consultant at the local hospital and tried lots of different strategies but none worked eg alarms, no drinks 2 hours before bed, waking up at regular intervals through the night to use the toilet.

He did just seem to grow out of it eventually and it stopped on its own.

It may be worth talking to the school to get a referral to the school nurse team which is where we started

At eight years old she can regulate her own thirst, so if she hasn’t drunk much during the day don’t force her to drink loads after school! She’ll know what she needs to drink. You should also remove the pull ups - she might wet herself a couple of times but she’ll soon learn to get up and use the toilet at night. With the greatest respect, you need to stop micro managing her.

That seems quite old to not be dry at night if there's no emotional reason. If you haven't already, then I think I'd be off to the doctors to check that there's no underlying medical reason. I'm sure I remember reading on here that the absence of a particular hormone can be the cause.

Agree with PP that maybe stop worrying about her drinking enough. There's no reason to think she'll dehydrate herself. Have you been to the GP before about it? Perhaps a referral is in order.

We’ve talked about it a lot and she wants to be dry at night but she says she just forgets to drink at school.

So what time is she having her last drink before bed? And what is she having?

@ThelmaNotLouise

At eight years old she can regulate her own thirst, so if she hasn’t drunk much during the day don’t force her to drink loads after school! She’ll know what she needs to drink. You should also remove the pull ups - she might wet herself a couple of times but she’ll soon learn to get up and use the toilet at night. With the greatest respect, you need to stop micro managing her.

speaking from experience she won't necessarily learn to get up and use the toilet. If you are worried go see gp. but she will probably grow out of it in her own time.

I think pull ups are a double edged sword as they are wicking away the liquid so she dosnt get the uncomfortable wet.
I would suggest at weekends to start with she dosnt wear a pull up to bed and set an alarm for twice during the night for a wee. No drinks after teatime. If the bed is wet she changes it with supervision.

No hard feelings if she does wet the bet, just change it and back to bed.

The cue to wake up for the loo is hormone related. My ds 12 still needs to wear a pull up. We also wake him as we go to bed. 50 /50 if that is enough or not. He is beginning puberty so hoping this kick starts things for him. He was supposed to have an appointment but cancelled due to Covid.

I wet the bed until I was 10 and then grew out of it. I've been told of it happening to kids in their teens. It's a hormone thing that is obviously delayed and there is not a lot you can do. It's totally not their fault when they are fast asleep.

It's not uncommon and is often due to the lack of a hormone being produced. At that age the doctor will often prescribe desmopressin and it can help the body to kick in production of the hormone to stop bedwetting. You can also buy alarms that clip onto their pyjamas, my son had one called wetstop. That and the medication did the trick within about three months for my 8 year old son.

It's important that she doesn't feel she can control this though, it's not a conscious choice at all, it's a biological problem that the doctor can probably help with.

Firstly, if all children were dry at night at 3 or 4 the supermarkets wouldn't waste valuable shelf space selling pyjama pants/pull ups for older children..

Being dry at night relies on the body producing a hormone called vasopressin which suppresses urine production, the bladder doesn't become full and so doesn't need to empty. Some children don't produce this hormone until later on, say aged 10.

We took Ds to the GP because of this, they prescribed Desmopressin (the synthetic vasopressin) and he was dry. But we were not prepared to medicate him day in day out to be dry at night. We used the tablets for school residentials, holidays and sleep overs at other houses.

He was dry before the end of secondary school. Can I point you toward the incredible and helpful website eric.org.uk which will show you that you are not alone in this. They have a lot of useful information. If you then wish to you can visit your GP.

The statistic is 900,000 children and young people face bowel and bladder control problems in the UK. That's around 30 or 40 young people in an average sized secondary school. Dealing with incontinence can have a huge impact on all all areas of a young person's life.

@Dnadoon

I wet the bed until I was 10 and then grew out of it. I've been told of it happening to kids in their teens. It's a hormone thing that is obviously delayed and there is not a lot you can do. It's totally not their fault when they are fast asleep.

Me too..I never knew it was hormone related ! I just know that I never "learnt" to wake up....I just stopped wetting the bed.,at about 10 as well. so actually I wouldn't go to the dr. I feel for your DD..I remember how bad doing it made me feel.

I meant he was dry before secondary, I think year 5 of primary.

There is medication they can take over the age of 7 I think? Because at that point it is a medical issue not something they will necessarily grow out of. Have a look on ERIC

Imaprimime and desmopressin are the drugs

We eventually got referred and went to a paediatric urology consultant with DS. Best decision! He asked us to monitor wee over a weekend: how much water DS was taking in and weeing out. Concluded that he wasn't drinking enough during the day and thus not weeing enough, so his bladder was a bit lazy and needed more 'exercise'. Not quite sure of the logic here but the wee seemed to have a delayed reaction and came out in the pull ups at night instead. We bought a pants alarm for night time which woke him up at the first tiny drop of wee about to escape. It sounds harsh, but he was literally out of the pull ups within a week, so quickly had he trained himself. Got the class teacher to remind him to drink water too during the day so both tactics worked. He's never had an accident or wet the bed since (2 yrs on).

My child was nearly 6, she just grew out of it. Don’t take the above posters advice of making them change the sheets like a punishment (they can if you want but not to punish!) Mine just didn’t wake up no matter what we tried! Not their fault!

I should add, DS was about 8 when we saw the urologist. And the alarm was from ERIC. Pricey but worth it- those Huggies pull-ups are £10 a pack, aren't they, and a hassle - and we managed to sell the alarm on eBay after.

My DD was in pull ups until she was 13. She became dry at night as soon as her period started.
We did see a specialist and decided not to go down the route of bed alarms. She was never bothered wearing a pull up at bed. And the doctor had prescribed desmopressin for any sleepovers/school trips.
I didn't make a big deal of it at all, and she just took it in her stride.

My DD was wetting regularly until about the age of 12. We tried everything: bed alarms; meds etc. She has been a regular tea drinker since about 5 or 6 and as soon as we switched to decaff tea, on the advice of the continence nurse, she stopped overnight. She does still have a sensitive bladder and maybe once a year she'll still have a night time accident; she's 15 now and we're hoping that she'll grow out of it completely eventually - although her dad does occasionally wet the bed if he's been drinking so some people are just predispositioned I suppose. She is also a very deep sleeper and used to have night terrors as a child which tends to happen to deep sleepers. Is your DD a deep sleeper?
She also occasionally wets herself in the day if she's laughing a lot and her bladder is full, especially if she's be3n drinking coke - so she's obviously got a weak, sensitive bladder. Apparently this "giggle incontinence" is also a thing that sometimes starts in adolescence too, although it's fairly rare.

My advice would be: no caffeine - including tea, coke, hot choc etc. Try the alarm - it didn't work for us but some people have good results; get her booked in to see the doctor and get a referral to a specialist. They might also be able to recommend better night pull ups. If she's got sleepovers could she wear a women's incontinence pad rather than a pull up? At least then if anyone sees it she can just say it's a sanitary towel.

A PP said to leave her pull ups off and she'll start getting up to go to the toilet. This is nonsense. She's asleep when it happens; she has no control over what's happening. You'll just make a lot of work for yourself changing bedding if you do this.

DS2 ages 10 isn't set at night. GP won't prescribe for more than a 1-2 night sleepover (and last time it didn't work anyway) and we haven't had a clinic referral for a year or two now. Hoping he grows our of it when he hits puberty

We tried absolutely everything, including medication, finally an alarm cracked it within a week or two, just in time for school camp.

I have no advice but I was the same as your DD. No matter what Dm or I did I wet the bed, I just never was able to wake myself up when needing a wee. I'm sure it's not the same for everyone but if you are going to set an alarm then I would do the first one for a couple of hours after she has fallen asleep, that was the one that never woke me, an early morning wee I would wake for. I never wore nappies though, had the protective plastic on my bed and went through lots of sheets

How is your DD with holding in her wee while awake? I have always been the type that needs to go straight away, I can still only hold it for a little while.

Thanks so much everyone. You’ve all given me a lot to consider. Really helpful 🙏