How do you decide when to stop breastfeeding?

[Lelophants]

I have a 13 month old who still breastfeeds a lot. He's being really difficult with solids at the moment too and feeds a lot at night (may also be teething related). I just can't decide when to start reducing really. He's never taken a bottle and whenever he's been with family he just waits for me to come back before he drinks milk. They've tried him with cow's milk and he tends to spit it out completely disgusted! Only likes it quite disguised in porridge. He likes yoghurt though. So I do worry about his dairy intake without it.

I like the idea of self weaning and want to be gentle with him, plus I understand the benefits of extended breastfeeding. However I would also love him to start reducing feeds. 😂 For one thing he has started grabbing at me quite angrily when he wants milk (especially if I've tried to leave it a while and use other milk instead). I dont think I want to get to the point where he is undressing me and wanting it all the time when there are technically other options. I'm actually happier doing it at night, but all methods I see are about night weaning first.

I just can't see me wanting to still do it when he's 2 (I just think I'll be 'done!) Is there any chance I can gently convince him earlier? How do you know?

Yes, you can teach them good nursing manners. Mine never twiddles because she's never been allowed to do so. She doesn't fidget for the same reason, nor does she bite. If she starts to annoy me, I just say, 'Do that again and you'll have to get off the boob,' and she stops. I stopped feeding in public when she was a bit over one because I knew she didn't need to feed then and there (she went the whole working day without boob after all) and it was a pain to have to sit down with her to nurse when out and about. Going to work also helped give me a break.

Stopped at five months with my first as went back to work, my second self weaned at eve of her first birthday - down to one feed just before bed then, and she just looked at me, stuck her thumb in her mouth and that was that!
Just cut out the feeds one at a time. He will eat food if hungry.

I'm still feeding mine at 20 months and don't think he is ready to stop - I never found advice about reducing feeds one at a time helpful as mine feeds randomly (if I am around). If I am not he drinks and eats no problem.

If you want to cut back in my experience it is easier during the day- especially if you get out and about as it is easy to distract them then. These days I very rarely feed my little one out of the house- only if he gets very tired/upset. (pandemic makes getting out harder though- I expect I would be feeding less if lockdown hadn't happened).

I know someone who day weaned her daughter at about that age- but still fed at night (not sure what she does now) but she said she wore a jumper with no access for a while and just used distraction. I think the reason you read about night weaning relates to people trying to get their baby to sleep through and believing this will help.

13 months was a very tough age for me - with clinginess/feeding all the time. Teething also doesn't help. It has got better.

Mine has also never had a bottle, and reacted with disgust at cow's milk- but now if we offer him cereal he now asks for milk. I really wouldn't worry about that aspect.

DS gave up during the day himself by 18 mo as food was just far more interesting to him.
Started talking about stopping milk at night then but didn't actually do that til about 21 mo and then the bedtime feed/ gymnastics a couple of weeks later. Continued to bedshare and did all the weaning myself as didn't feel depriving DS of everything/ sending in DH was fair. VIrtually no tears which was the goal.

Sleep improved, somewhat, after that although it's taken 18 mo for it to get to the point I mostly wake in my own bed and haven't probably had to go in to DS

I did ‘don’t offer, don’t refuse’ from about a year as I was pretty sick of it by then (always assumed I’d feed until 2+ before I actually had to do it!!). DS was on a morning feed only by 16 months. He sort of self-weaned at 18 months, helped along by the fact I was pregnant and had hyperemesis so my milk was probably horrible and drying up.

I got about 7 months off and then was back to it with DD!

I'm currently feeding my 15 month old (who I can't imagine will ever want to stop) but my DD was two exactly and by that point was only feeding once a day. We had a really busy weekend and she forgot all about it and only asked once a week later. I remember trying to wean her off at about 17 months and her not being ready and it all being quite stressful though so you might have to see how it goes xx