Should I let my DC share a room?

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My DS(6) has always been a good sleeper and settled well at bedtime. However he has recently have some bad dreams and is now upset at the thought of going to sleep at nightime, he says he hates the night.

We have tried a number of things, dreamcatchers,he has a lamp in his room, he is allowed to read until he falls asleep, he knows he can call out or come into our room if he wakes after a bad dream and we have just started trying audiobooks so he is thinking about the story he is listening to rather than thinking about the night.

On talking with him he says that the only thing he thinks will help him is sleeping in with his sister DD (4). At the moment she would be happy with this but she is much more independent than him and my concern is she would want her own room back before DS was ready to move out and this may make it more difficult for him to settle. Whenever they have shared a room on holiday DS really struggles with going back into a room on his own DD is not bothered

Currently my DH is sat on the landing until he falls asleep as he is too scared to be by himself and this is not a long term solution.

Does anyone have an advice or tips? If anyone had DC sharing a room for similar reasons, how did moving them back to their own rooms go?

It seems a bit unfair on your DD.

Are you leaving the audio book on until he falls asleep? My dd has always had music to sleep to, used to be a lullaby but it's pop now.

Worry dolls or a worry monster might help with a racing mind at night.

Also sometimes as parents when we try to help we make something a bigger issue. Sometimes being a bit more matter of fact and almost blunt can be more reassuring as it isn't enforcing a negative message.
So by trying to negate all his fears you are actually highlighting them more.

What did you do when he was a toddler at the getting out of bed stage?

He didn't out of bed as a toddler. I think he did it once was told it was unacceptable and never did it again.

We have tried being matter of fact but when we go and check on him and he is just silently sobbing in bed your heartbreaks for them.

The audio book stays on until he falls asleep and my DH sits outside his room until he has gone off.

Awwww I think that's really cute. They're both little, would it harm to share a room? Perhaps 6 months/ 1yr/ 2yrs down the line hell sleep better a d be less scared anyway?

How long has this been going on for? If DH sitting outside his room works, can he just keep doing it for a few weeks to see if it sorts itself out?

My now 7yr old was and is a bit prone to 'im scared'. We had an awful patch for months when he was about 5. Tried everything till one night we (again) asked him what he was scared of. Zombies. DH said 'ok well just be careful the zombies don't eat your face off while you sleep'. I nearly died and was ready to kill him but after a shocked silence DS nervously giggled and said 'youre making that up'. 'No, you have to be careful. They like to nibble your nose and it would be really messy if there was blood everywhere the next morning'. DS nervously giggled 'stop making fun of me'. 'im not making fun of you, this zombie stuff is a very serious matter'. DS rolls over and tells us to go away.

And that was literally the last night we had an 'im scared' problem. I think trying to help him or reason with him just reinforced that there was something to be scared about. Taking the piss out if him and his fears have him the message it was ridiculous/not real and strangely neutralised it.

No clue if it would work for other kids so don't blame me but it was like a magic bullet in our house.

What's the harm? My 2 shared a room by choice until about the age of 8 or 9 and even then there were a couple of false starts when they wanted their own rooms but changed their minds in the middle of the night and I'd find them back together in the morning.

Let them share until either one doesn't want to.

Can DS write? Writing or drawing his fears and then posting it in a worry post box might help. You can open the post box and discuss the fears at an agreed time, so perhaps after school every day.

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying High risk strategy!
I have 2DCs sharing a room temporarily. It's fine, but I think they all sleep better in their own rooms. Plus the sharing of space is possibly a bit harder during lockdown

Since your dd doesn’t mind either way I would just let them share. I would turn ds room into a play room and keep a day bed in there in case one of them wants their space.

Does it take him a long time to fall asleep if one of you stays with him?

I'm currently co sleeping with my ds (6 and 2). We all get good sleep now (especially dh, who sleeps on the sofa!) Ds6 went through a phase of frequent night wakings and not settling at bedtime. I'm sure he'll want his own space soon, if not, i'll be asking for your advice!

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying I am not sure that would work, his bad dreams are about giants and he knows they are not real but his fear is having a the bad dreams and they are real.

He gets worse after every bad dream. Thanks for everyone's suggestions the last couple of nights he has fallen asleep in 20 minutes but we have kept him up later so that he is definitely tired when he goes to bed.

I think we will stick with DH outside his room for now but if it becomes an ongoing issue.....he has more dreams/is worse we may reconsider the room sharing.

My DH shared with his sister for the same reasons when young and he really struggled to move back into his own room which is probably clouding my judgement.

You just have to live day by day. No one can predict the future. Let them share.