Struggling, advice please!

[ExcavatorHater]

Hi so I am a SAHM to DS who is 2 years 9 months and I am also self employed working 20-25 hours a week when he is in bed.

The last few weeks everything is getting on top of me. DS is really challenging and pushing every single boundary. We get outdoors every day on his balance bike or to the park or to feed the ducks or something and I always make sure I give him some one to one attention where I sit and play with him.. but this is never enough.

I have other things to do during the day, cleaning, washing, cooking general house admin stuff and as soon as I try to get anything done he will literally demolish the house.

I'm not talking about just taking toys out, I mean filling the toilet with toys getting himself soaked in the process, grabbing a box of oats out the cupboard and chucking them everwhere, finding some of his poster paints and squirting it all over his playroom.

I know it's probably for attention, but then it means he gets less attention from me as I basically spend all day cleaning up all this mess and not being able to sit and play or do nice crafts or something with him. And I'm not joking about this level of mess, it is constant one thing after another.

I try to get him involved in helping me do tasks and sometimes he will, sometimes he isn't interested. His speech is fantastic and he knows he's not supposed to do these things but he just won't stop! I don't know what to do? Some days I feel as though I'm just telling him off all day and it makes me feel so guilty. If I didn't work I would have time to catch up on things when he slept but I don't even have the evenings to do that as I have to work.

I'm already not sleeping enough, I can't sacrifice anymore sleep to catch up so what do I do, I feel like I'm losing the plot. I can't carry on like this I just feel like I am failing at everything

It can depend, Tuesdays and Thursdays we always go to the park and meet his friend were usually out for a couple of hours. Mondays are shopping day so we walk to the shop he gets his little trolley and pushes it round, Wednesday might be a morning in the house or I take him out on his balance bike to the BMX track. Afternoons are for dog walks but he usually wants to go in his pushchair, the dog doesn't get a proper walk with him walking too so this works for us.

How do you manage to give your dog a decent walk with two toddlers walking too? Are you able to drive somewhere suitable for off lead walks?

I don't drive so we walk everywhere and we never use the pushchair in the mornings as I want to tire him out. When my partner is off we usually go to a nice park and he takes him bike and he will ride it for miles 🤣

I'll implement that tip for the dogs water thank you @Aquamarine1029

Ah I see OP! Sounds like you're doing a brilliant job. So I don't drive either but am really lucky we live next to a big London park where the vast majority of dogs are off the lead. Our dog is small and neurotic so literally stays within a few yards of wherever we are (unless he's chasing squirrels!). So if DDs and I are picking up sticks or leaves or jumping in puddles or kicking a ball, ddog will just potter around near us.

My DS is the same, he’s like a tornado raging through the house. We lock everything away and I watch him like a hawk but there are still accidents (it’s hard when they’re so quick!). What helps me is lowering my expectations for a tidy house and getting him to clean up after he throws things around. This makes me feel slightly more in control!

As PP has said, we get out of the house twice a day somewhere he can run free so he can burn off energy and I can regain some sanity!

Ha I never cracked walking a dog with small children - that's the other thing nursery was great for, lovely fast walks with my fast dog who was a lovely boy but got a bit fed up with toddler pace.

Tbh, if I had to walk them together I'd buggy it to the park and then let them both off lead! Stressful though to watch both. The dog was more reliable.

And as for the water bowl, we had that too. They grow out of it but it's annoying. I agree with taking it away, and all of the other things they are just making a mess with.

I do think learning not to thoughtlessly make a mess and not clear it up is one of the things you can do for teachers. Put a tidy up song on and establish the principle of them helping clear up any mess (I realise the help is a pain). Enforce one activities going away before another started.