Does this sound like PND?

[squirrelnutkins1]

Please be gentle!

I've got a very long awaited, much wanted 4 month old. She's a little joy and altho I've not got anything to compare it to I think she's a fairly easy baby to look after (I'm only saying this in the sense of I'm not struggling with how SHE is if that makes sense).

Lately on an afternoon I can feel my mood start to plummet. I've been combatting this with going for a walk but at times I get really tearful for no apparent reason. I brush it off and say it's 'just hormones'.

I love her more than I could ever imagine but I get worried about something happening to her and that saps my joy a bit.

Then I feel guilty that I'm not entertaining her enough but I'm not really sure what a four month old needs entertainment wise!? I put her on the play mat and she's got toys that hang from it and make noise and I read to her, sing to her, tell her what I'm doing like if I make soup or something I'll talk her thru what I'm doing (I sound nuts don't I 🙈). I take her on a walk every day and talk about what we can see. I do put her in front of the TV a bit with nursery rhymes or baby sensory videos just so I can get a few jobs done.

Sorry this is long and well done if you get to the end!

So is this all part and parcel of having a pandemic baby with no hands on support, or does it sound a bit more like PND?

TIA x

You don’t sound nuts. One of my NCT friends used to take her child on a tour of the house and pretend she was an estate agent. Sometimes you just run out of things to talk about.

I think it’s worth speaking to the GP. You’ve had a new baby, I’m guessing little support due to covid, not much of an opportunity to make Mum friends and it’s winter. I think lots of people would feel depressed in this situation.

You sound like an amazing mum, you’re doing everything people recommend and more :). I think if pnd is something you’re questioning it would be good to speak to your health visitor. I struggled with intrusive thoughts and it was explained as something you can’t put to the back of your mind. Like the thought of something bad happening will enter your mind but instead of letting it pass, you fixate on it and become anxious/upset. Does that sound familiar? Regardless speak to anyone you feel comfortable with, you matter and you need support - pandemic or no pandemic

@Thatwentbadly I like that idea! You're right, there's only so much you can think to say sometimes! Yeah we've not bubbled with anyone and so we've not had any indoor support. I'm feeling half proud we've managed alone and half resentful that stupid covid had robbed us of a proper pregnancy / newborn experience.

@PollyPocket245 aww thank you for saying that. It made me well up. I feel like I'm mostly ok but maybe it'd be better to get help sooner rather than later. I'm wondering if I leave it I may not be able to recognise I'm struggling if that makes sense.
I think I know what you mean. Earlier I was thinking about if I turned away for two seconds and she drowned in the bath 💔 I kinda zone out thinking about it and then snap out of it.

Hey! I'm also a FTM to a 4 month old girl and I often feel the same way, my days are very similar to yours as well. It sounds like you love your wee girl very much and you're doing a great job with her! I wouldn't worry that you aren't doing enough to entertain her. I sometimes feel quite sad in the afternoon too but I put it down to boredom and not having as much to do due to covid. Also before having my baby I had a job that involved alot of social interaction and now I'm by myself quite a lot so it's been quite a big lifestyle change. I get that it's hard to admit to feeling this way though as everyone expects you to be so happy with your new baby. I find getting out with other mums for walks really helps, maybe check if your area has any Facebook groups for parents that you can join.

@FH27 thank you x
It's definitely a huge lifestyle adjustment isn't it! I don't miss my actual job but I miss that sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. Not that keeping my little one alive isn't an accomplishment 🤣but it's not quite the same.

Yes. Contact your GP you will be amazed at what resources will rally around you. PND can get bad fast, so make the call as soon as you can face it - and if you can’t face it have someone call for you. Speaking from very recent experience xxx

I suffered with post natal anxiety and this led to depression. we had fertility treatment I don't think I ever really got over the anxiety and then I just worried about absolutely everything when my baby was here. Also my little one cried an awful lot in the early months and it was so hard. It sounds like you're doing really well and in tune with your mood which is great, I think I found speaking to gp really helpful so if you were unsure there's no harm in checking in with them. X x