4 week old 'routine'

[Tiredmammytotwo]

I have a 2 year old abd 4 week old and feel like having a meltdown. Had trouble breastfeeding my Newborn as she can't latch for more than 5 minutes so was pumping up until now but have had to move to formula to ease the burden of coping with two.
Since moving to formula she is feeding every 2 or 2. 5 hours even at night yet on the breast(expressing) she was doing 3 or 4 hours (I was waking her at 3 or 3.5 hours to feed). Also she will not settle out of arms last 2 weeks between 5 or 6 pm and 2 am, then up every 2.5 hours to feed. She might sleep in arms but can not put her down and often cries for best part of 2 hours. Have tried putting her down in different places, white noise soothers etc but nothing helps. Have tried changing up feed times but always fall back to same evening pattern. Currently taking shifts with hubby in separate rooms but neither getting more than 4 hours sleep a night and bed and dinner time now very tough on 2 year old. My anxiety is through roof as feel I'm not minding my first born properly now. Exhausted and at our wits end, please help!

Congratulations on your newborn :) my DD was exactly the same when she was tiny, although admittedly she was BF. She would be calmer when just allowed to feed at will and nap in my arms all evening - I think it's called clusterfeeding and it's supposed to boost your milk supply. Obviously with your little one on formula she can't do the, but have you tried introducing a dummy to let her comfort suck?

Other than that, just hold her if you can. She's so tiny, and just needs you both. It's absolutely knackering and I remember being there very vividly.

Have you tried a sling? I think a lot of second babies practically live in them. The stretchy ones are good as you can just tie once in the morning and take baby in and out when needed.

I think a bit of leaving the toddler to their own devices is also inevitable with a baby. All you can do is make the environment as safe as possible for them.