How to you discipline your toddler? Struggling with a just 2 year old.....

[Swaddleblanket]

My 2 year old (just turned 2) is very cheeky, very boisterous and plays well by himself but he is very active and cheeky, in that he will constantly climb on furniture and jump off, climbs on the table, hits the tv with his toys (in a playful way, not in a malicious being naughty way), and unplugs things and plays with switches. I want to make him the things I am saying no to are dangerous but he just continues doing it, again not in a naughty way just in a he wants to unplug things so he will unplug things way.

I guess I am asking how I get him to understand no means no and that certain things are dangerous? I don’t feel like he is able to listen to me so when I say no he doesn’t really pay attention.

The thing is when he’s having a tantrum and picks something up to throw and I say no, he listens and stops and if he’s about to throw himself around in a tantrum and I say be careful or stop then, again he listens to me. It’s when he’s playing he doesn’t see, to pay any attention to me.

I have a just turned 2 year old too. Honestly, I have the same issues, but more the opposite way around. She is good at listening when playing, but throws anything within her range when tantruming. All I can think of is to get down on his level, make him face you, make eye contact and tell him clearly. No idea if it will work. Maybe someone here will have better advice for both of us.

Jumping on the sofa, take him off and say no jumping on the sofa and they say we can jump on x, y, z. Jump with him in the place. Praise his high jumping on the rug. If he does it again say no jumping on the sofa, remove him and distract with another toy.

Why would you discipline a 2 year old? Why can't they jump on the furniture? Bang things? It's called being 2..not naughty. Christ don't put the poor kid on a naughty step for being, well, a typical 2 year old. Chill out, drink wine, relax.

For the most part we are a “yes” house so there isn’t much he can’t do that isn’t safe, but when he’s messing with plug sockets and I remove him and he runs back or finds another one, I want him to understand it is dangerous and that he can play with something else. I did buy him a switch and plug for, b&q but nothing compares to the real thing!

I have read a lot about ignoring and not giving attention to the dangerous behaviours because the attention is like gold to them so I might try that. Just keep removing him and explain it’s dangerous to climb on the table and play with switches. I just wondered if he should be more understanding of the meaning of no at this age or not.

@ClaireP20

Why would you discipline a 2 year old? Why can't they jump on the furniture? Bang things? It's called being 2..not naughty. Christ don't put the poor kid on a naughty step for being, well, a typical 2 year old. Chill out, drink wine, relax.

Interested to know at what age discipline should start?

Explaining isn't required for a 2yo. Too many words and it will be just a confusing ramble.

He's 2, his Impulse control is poor, he doesn't have the headspace for explanations. Do explain anyway, because it's good practice, but don't expect that to change his behaviour.

You need to make the dangerous things inaccessible, as much as possible. Then related consequences - if he hits the TV, the TV goes off. That's not because he's being naughty as such, it's just because it will damage the TV eventually.

I find Janet lansbury stuff really good :) she has a podcast and articles for free. And she's more about teaching than "naughty/good" etc.

Big Little Feelings and Simply on Purpose on Instagram have completely changed my life in terms of parenting my kid.

I also love the book How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen. Loads of practical strategies. I also have a boisterous toddler!

@Swaddleblanket

For the most part we are a “yes” house so there isn’t much he can’t do that isn’t safe, but when he’s messing with plug sockets and I remove him and he runs back or finds another one, I want him to understand it is dangerous and that he can play with something else. I did buy him a switch and plug for, b&q but nothing compares to the real thing!

I have read a lot about ignoring and not giving attention to the dangerous behaviours because the attention is like gold to them so I might try that. Just keep removing him and explain it’s dangerous to climb on the table and play with switches. I just wondered if he should be more understanding of the meaning of no at this age or not.

Understanding yes but they don’t have impulse control to stop themselves doing it again.

At that age I just would have moved the item or moved the child after two warnings. That is a form of discipline - consequences. The naughty step is nonsense at two. Long explanations wasted at two.

I would for example hide plug sockets behind furniture for a couple of months.

We put a coffee table from IKEA in front of our TV so our 2yo can't easily reach it. It means w have time to react.

He has only been on this planet two years. He has no idea of boundaries. This is totally normal behaviour.

Just remove and distract. Two year olds really do not need ‘discipline’ or naughty steps.

Echoing the recommendation for ‘How to talk so little kids will listen’, it’s really practical and the suggestions had an immediate impact for us (DS is almost 2).

I think giving him a plug to play with might just confuse him, can he understand the difference? I’d look for a similar task which is safe (e.g. we have a couple of lamps DS can safely switch on and off). With DS I try and remove dangers where possible (e.g. move furniture so plugs are inaccessible), then when he does something dangerous just say no it’s dangerous, physically remove him from the danger, distract by suggesting something he can do as an alternative ‘let’s hit some pans with a spoon and make a loud noise’ instead of hitting the tv), and physically remove from the danger if he doesn’t immediately stop.