Baby hates formula and I am at the end of my rope

[Eggcellent29]

DS is 9 months and FF.

He was initially EBF but a very serious PPH and the shitest HV in the world put a stop to that.

He has never liked formula. Every single bottle has been a battle since we swappe over 8 months ago. And I mean. Every. Single. Bottle.

He has reflux which doesn’t help but has meds for this.

He has only EVER had formula when asleep. When he is awake, you’d like I was trying to force feed him razor blades. But now that he’s getting older, finding that sweet spot between totally asleep and awake is almost impossible. It’s also impossible for us to get out anywhere because I can’t just get him to nap in car or pram etc because he needs a bottle.

We are losing naps because when I give him the bottle he wakes and kicks off. If I don’t give it to him, he wakes from hunger or won’t settle

It is really, really, really grinding me down. I already feel like a shit enough mum that I could carry on BF and it feels like I can never get away from that shame because three times a day we go through this hell. The thought of another three months is overwhelming

People around me are suggesting cows milk instead. He already has one small bottle during his second nap (he had been refusing formula for weeks in the day so it’s not replacing it ifyswim) and it’s bliss - he drinks it and goes right off and I don’t spend half an hour crying

Has anyone else been in this situation? I’ve honestly never met a baby that hates formula so much. He eats loads of solids so I’m not worried about nutrition as such. HV said to drop to just two bottles but then he’s hungry

Has anyone else just given two formulas and two cows milk at this age? I know the guidelines say no blah blah blah, but they also say all sorts of stupid shit like demonising any mum who gives their baby purée one second before they turn 6 months, which is perfectly fine. I’ve never met ANYONE who has kidney, digestive problems etc because their mum gave them cows milk before they were one, so why am I so worried about it?!

If you had he same problem but didn’t use cows milk, what did you do instead? I’ve tried all the ‘obvious’ things and none of it has made a blind bit of difference

My now adult son hated formula milk. I gave up the battle at 9 months.

I was allergic to something in formula and had cows milk from birth suplemented with vitamins.
I would swap and make life easier on you both. Give vitamin supplements and all will be fine.
I also moved my youngest to cows milk from breast feeding to formula at 7 months and then cows milk at 11 months. It worked for us.

So he still needs 20oz per day alongside solids unless you give him vitamins. Have you tried Hipp Organic?

Personally you’ve made it so far I’d just continue until 1 when you can switch to an alternative milk.

I’m shocked anyone has suggested switching at this young age.

Also, have you tried different bottles?

My sister switched to cows milk around 9/10 months as she didn’t want her son to have formula after he refused breast... and she was advised to make sure he had the wee vitamin drops alongside and he’d be fine.

I'd assume allergy too op. I was going to say dairy but he's obviously fine with pure cow. Are there any other foods that trigger him? What's his poo like?

In your situation yes I'd give full fat cows milk

Mine was similar. Still remember the stress over 10 years on!
Luckily she was a good eater and I think that by about 9 or 10 months we’d given up on bottles almost completely. She would eat plenty of cheese, yogurt and veg.
She still doesn’t like milk and tbh isn’t a massive fan of drinks full stop.

DD is 6mo and CMPA so is on neocate. Since she's started weaning she point blank refuses any milk, awake or asleep. And I don't blame her, it tastes disgusting!
I dropped a feed so she's now on 3 a day, added porridge made with formula and yoghurt (coconut for her) to her daily meals.
Also add a spoon of Nesquik powder to the bottles she does have, she now wolfs them down. If you want to try keeping up with the formula you could buy some of that to add? I just get the strawberry one.

My DD stopped drinking any milk from about 9 months. I used to give it to her in her food, milky porridge, becheamel sauce on her meals, plenty of cheese based meals. She still won't drink milk ( she's nearly 18) but will occasionally have it on cereal. She is very healthy.

I have had almost this exact issue. My child had really severe silent reflux such that she ended up in hospital several times. She had two types of medication for it but by the time we got there the damage was done and she was completely bottle averse, she'd scream whenever I tried to feed her. I remember the nurse in hospital saying that she hadn't seen such a young baby react so strongly to the sight of a bottle.

So from about 3/4m I dreamfed her every single bottle. I had the added stress of the fact that she was on another medication for an unrelated issue that she could only have if she'd eaten well as it could cause very low blood sugar in babies.

It was utterly horrendous. Awful. I spent over a year rocking her to sleep and dreamfeeding. Pretty much didn't leave my house with her much for the first year of her life because I'd only have a short time between each nap/feed they took so long. I also couldn't have anyone round for company because if I did she wouldn't go to sleep and so wouldn't feed or have her medication. She didn't take well to food, didn't eat a bite of anything until she was over 8 months (super sensitive gag reflex is common with bad reflux, and she just wasn't interested).

It was hell and I really feel for you it made me so miserable. You're not a shit mum, you're doing your best.

I don't have any advice I'm afraid this continued for me until she was 13m and we knocked the formula on the head (although she wasn't having it in the day by then and was eating better so the days were easier).

As you don't have the issue of child absolutely having to have loads of formula (by 9m if they're eating ok they only need around a pint a day) then I would maybe try to shoehorn that into a few feeds as possible. Cows milk won't harm but it doesn't contain everything that formula does but honestly I doubt you'll be able to get that much into her if she's like it with formula! If you do switch make sure you're supplementing with a multivitamin plus iron, they need it.

My child also wouldn't touch cows milk. I tried endlessly from 12m. She didn't drink it until was was probably 2.5. After we dropped the bottles at 13m all she drank was water until then. I gave her lots of natural yoghurt/cheese etc. She was fine.

She's now 4.5 and eats and drinks really well it's all a (horrible!) distant memory.

If it helps, my second child was nothing like this, she loved her bottles and I had to actually remove them (they had cows milk in by then) at 18m because of the teeth thing. She wasn't happy!