Newborn extremely fussy in the evening

[EllaWt]

Hello!
My 1w old is angel, sleeps well, eats well etc however she is very very difficult in the evening i would say 9pm-1am , nothing will settle her despite not needing food, a change, cuddles etc ... i'm wondering if it's tummy ache or something else ... I was wondering if this happened to anyone and if you had tips to share ? She seems so unhappy during this time it breaks our hearts...

Its very common. You've said she doesn't need food, I would perhaps offer a feed anyway and see if she takes it.

Both of mine used a dummy which helped with the evenings!!

I think it's very common too and I'd still offer a feed as Porgy says.

Have you tried things like swaddling, white noise or putting her in a sling and walking around? If all else fails get DH to take her out fir a drive to see if that settles her down fir a bit

Hi OP, Google "baby witching hour", you'll find it's very common. Is she breastfed or bottle fed? My DD was breastfed and would be on my breast for hours in the evening. I never gave her a dummy but definitely will in the future when I decide to have another baby!

DD was awful in the evenings til 16 weeks. It passes, there’s nothing you need to do to fix it, it’s just babies being babies. Try a sling, swaddling, white noise, etc, but mostly just try to survive!

@JiltedJohnsJulie she hates hates the sling 😱😱 i would love her to love the caboo but she doesnt seem to want to be in it

@MBM18 she's bottle fed so I thought maybe this wouldn't apply to her but then again it's my first so I am clueless 😂😂

Hi OP, our baby was very similar and the sling was our saviour! I see you've tried already and your little one was not keen. Just wondering what you have tried with it?

Ours HATED being put in it the first couple of times - let's face it, it's not a fun process getting them in! And she just had no clue what we were trying to do. The night we had the breakthrough I decided in desperation I was going to take her for a walk round the block in it ‐ by the time she was in the sling she was SCREAMING THE HOUSE DOWN - she cried a lot but I'd never seen her so furious before. I was so desperate though I told my husband we were going for a walk and if the screaming didn't get any better I'd turn round at the end of our street and give up, but we had to try. By the end of our driveway she was asleep! It was an honest to god miracle, don't think I've ever been so stunned.

I think this time of year is perfect for it (except in chucking rain) - for ours it seemed that the pitch dark and freezing cold air just shocked her into stopping crying. We also had to walk at a really brisk pace for it to work well so outside was best.

In our case she would get increasingly grumpy from around 4pm, constant crying from 6 and totally inconsolable from 9 - but she wouldn't sleep. I think it was over stimulation that built up over the course of the day, then got worse and worse as she refused to sleep and got more and more overtired. I used to do a sling walk every night the weather allowed from 6 - 7/7.30 and just persuading her to take that sleep meant that when we got back and I took her out of the sling I could feed her and she'd almost always go back to sleep happily.

You might have already persisted with the sling to no avail of course but just wanted to say that it's worth trying it again if you were put off by a firm no from your baby at first! Our little one got into a routine of having the 6pm nap eventually and we were able to skip the sling walk by about 14 weeks. All the very best - you'll work out what gets you all through, you're doing brilliantly!

My DD is almost 3 months and I could have written your post. I agree with PP, a very fast paced walk has really helped at times. We have also gone out for a drive with white noise playing in the car. She falls asleep normally within 10 minutes or so. She does wake up when we get out of the car but it gives me an hour of peace. She is also bottle fed, and sometimes has what my partner calls an "aggy 30ml" or "very aggy 20ml". We don't let her use a dummy so I think she just has a little bit of milk so that she can suck the teat and this can help her to fall asleep. Lastly, I have also run a warm bath and taken her in with me so I can rock her gently in the water which I think helps her with tummy ache and she falls asleep. Good luck op, its so draining for the first couple of weeks!

[quote EllaWt]@MBM18 she's bottle fed so I thought maybe this wouldn't apply to her but then again it's my first so I am clueless 😂😂[/quote]
It still applies as all babies know cluster feed in the evenings.

Very standard unfortunately. Lots of babies need to suck in the evenings. To quite sure how you hand,e that with a bottle fed one though... would you consider a dummy? Or try to get them to find their thumb/hands? Otherwise, agree that tiredness/overstimulation seems to make it worse, so white noise/go for a walk/take a drive.....
(And if you hit on something that works really well, do share! Having some issues settling my DTwins in the evening - I can settle one at a time, but can’t keep them both calm!)

My 5 week old is the same OP, I'm sure it's the "witching hour". She has colic too so that doesn't help. I feel your pain though!

I have no advice sorry! I was (in a way) lucky, as my son and I had a lengthy hospital stay after he was born. He didn't like the evenings either, but s
A kind nurse took him with her to the nurses station a couple of the nights so I could catch up on sleep. Could you and your partner do shifts? One of you do 9-11 while the other sleeps, then switch?

Regarding the sling, my boy HATED it at first. He 10 weeks now and for the past 2 weeks or so, I've timed it so that he goes on his sling right before he's due a nap. I try to do this so we can go for a nice walk every other day or so. It seems to be working well so it's something to keep on mind

We had this from about 6 weeks to 3/4 months, generally started about 4pm. I agree with the over stimulated comments. It's really hard and you have my sympathy. A few things that helped-
Tag teaming with dad if you can, it is exhausting and helps just to refresh yourself.
Quiet darkish low stimulus room
Bath
Looking at sleep during the day. In our case DD was not getting enough during the day

This is going to sound very random but it's a "white noise" tactic. This is also years ago (the baby is now a teen).

However we had this issue in spades for months and I was at my wits end with 2 hours respite at a stretch (BF) plus "baby witching hours" in the evening where nothing worked (walks/drives/slings).

What worked was the sound of the hairdryer.

I found out after DH had taken over in "baby witching hour" so I could have a shower.

After showering he brought him into the bedroom (just to get a nappy - I was on a break!) but I was drying my hair and at the sound DS settled.

We tried switching it on and off and it was like a baby remote control 😂.

So we took a sound recording of it and played it on a loop.

It was a miracle!

I've heard similar stories about vacuum cleaners etc. I think you need to find the right "white noise" so maybe experiment.

Unlike over a decade ago you can now get lots of white noise on the internet. Don't assume if one doesn't work then white noise won't.

Good luck and yes it's pretty normal

@MBM18 I would have loved my breastfed DD to take a dummy but nope! Now she's 12mo I'm glad I didn't have to wean a dummy off her, but when she was tiny it would have been a big help!!

My one-week old is the same OP - from 9-12 he is really fussy but doesn’t want to feed. Then he’s suddenly ravenous, eats like a champion and falls asleep. I think it’s just his active time, but I’m hoping he will bring it forward before too long because by midnight I’m absolutely dropping!

Congratulations!
I have got a 10 week old that was exactly like this. To be honest, we just managed for a little while, making sure she never went more than 3 hours between the start of feeds and allowing her to cluster feed in the evenings. Once I’d made my peace with it, it seemed a bit more bearable!
A few weeks in we then encouraged her to have a nap around 6/7pm. This has now turned into bedtime and she sleeps very well.
It may well have been pot luck - it’s my first too - but I have been trying really hard with a routine and I’m sure it’s helped. At the very least it’s helped my sanity as I know what’s coming next!

Bounce on a yoga ball. My poor DH spends most the night on one with the baby!