How to stop breastfeeding

[Tonic54]

My dd is 6months and EBF and a bottle refuser, I initially planned to go back to work at 10months but with covid there have been changes at work and I feel I need to go back sooner, at possibly 8months and she would be at nursery for 3 full days.

She is my second child and my first is already at the nursery and really happy there, however I'm really worried about her as she has only ever been looked after me.

I would like to stop breastfeeding and her get comfort from the bottle before I go back to work, however I have no idea how to do this. My DH has two weeks off at Xmas and I was wondering if I just went away for a day and do it cold turkey. I never managed to get DS to stop breastfeeding and ended up feeding till 14months when again when cold turkey.

Would like to ask, if you all think it's ok to do this or sounds too harsh? She just seems too young.

Not too harsh IMO, I returned to work at 6m and both of mine were bottle refusers despite trying to introduce it early on one bfing had established.
Went cold turkey with my first, left with OH and my mum for the day and eventually she took it and then slower got better once at nursery but I'd say was never a bit milk drinker after that.
DD2 was awful really stubborn, HV suggested starting to wean at 4.5m as she really wasn't having it, she loved food and once at nursery really took to a bottle.
I continued bfing morning and bedtime until 8m with DD1 at which point she lost interest and DD2 was 13m.
At 8m if they are happy to eat then that will bulk up the lost milk during the day if still not having much from a bottle.
I found wiith both mine the preferred the ready made formula rather than powder.

If she will take water from a cup then could try it, but would be easier on baby and other half to wait till 8m and eating. Mine started nursery at 12m and would never take milk from them even when she would take milk from a cup at home. She loved nursery otherwise and ate well there. Just breast milk at night for quite awhile longer than I anticipated.

I had my 2 DCs many years ago and went back to work at about 4 months with each. I gradually ( over a week or 2) dropped daytime feeds and just kept on with evening and morning feeds. This worked very successfully and I fed both to nearly a year. You stop producing milk for the feeds you've dropped.

Going cold turkey at 14 months will probably be a very different experience for you to 6 months. My two were both bottle refusers, when my daughter started at 9 months the nursery had success with formula in a sippy cup and now at 11 months she just drinks cows milk or water there. Think it does help at nursery when they’re well into weaning and eating well.

If you wait until she's hungry, she is likely to take a bottle. I got DH to do the first ones, so the DC was not confused by me being there.

By 6 months the bottle and dummy ship has sailed, so I'd concentrate on cup feeding. Try to introduce a special soft toy or blanket she can use as her comfort when you go back to work.

I’d get DH to offer bottles or cups of formula every day while he’s off work. Best you’re out of the room when he does this. I agree with trying to get her to have a comfort object, put your perfume on it, or sleep with it for a few nights. Better if it smells of you. In my experience, ex nursery nurse, most of them take a bottle or cup fine at nursery, even if they totally refuse at home.

@Rugbymumof2

Not too harsh IMO, I returned to work at 6m and both of mine were bottle refusers despite trying to introduce it early on one bfing had established. Went cold turkey with my first, left with OH and my mum for the day and eventually she took it and then slower got better once at nursery but I'd say was never a bit milk drinker after that. DD2 was awful really stubborn, HV suggested starting to wean at 4.5m as she really wasn't having it, she loved food and once at nursery really took to a bottle. I continued bfing morning and bedtime until 8m with DD1 at which point she lost interest and DD2 was 13m. At 8m if they are happy to eat then that will bulk up the lost milk during the day if still not having much from a bottle. I found wiith both mine the preferred the ready made formula rather than powder.

Thankyou, this does make me feel better. My DS never drank any milk after we weaned so that was one of my worries as at 7months (if we do it over Xmas) she will still need milk. Did you express at all or go straight to formula?

@Feetupteashot yes she will take a cup of water although as she is only 6months I don't think she has got the hang of swallowing yet from it as she looks very shocked when water comes out but she doesn't object to it. I've tried putting milk in but she actually spits it out and gets upset. I would really like to get it sorted before I go back to work as making me so anxious and hated having rock hard boobs and really difficult to express at work.

Thanks @BornOnThe4thJuly and @goldenharvest a comforter does sound like a good idea.

I totally understand rock hard boobs are horrible. Can you maybe see how your DH wants to proceed? Mine had to be very very patient to get my little one to take bottle but did manage over a few weeks. We started with bedtime feed although I think this is the opposite of most advice and was a bit tricky. Used Mam & Hipp organic for a 6mth old for what it's worth. Mostly because the formula didn't smell too grim! I never bothered expressing

PS mine were the other way around, weaned first to bottle at 6mth(well started trying then, succeeded at 8mth going fairly gently throughout) and second eventually at 19mth. Maybe I should have used cups instead of bottles . Good luck!!!!!

@Fozzleyplum thankyou this is what I would like to do but we never seem to manage it, she just gets upset and I end up boobing her.

@Feetupteashot thanks that is helpful, me and dh have had lots of chats. He gets cross with me as in the past as soon as I have heard her cry I have taken her off him and stuck her on the boob. He feels like a failure then gets upset. We never seem to be able to stick with anything consistently hence cold turkey. Yes we should try dh giving milk after work from now till Xmas and see how it goes and try and take pressure off.

Yes it is so hard, both for DH and you listening to baby get upset!!!
Good luck!

Hi op,

Just wondering how you are getting on?
We are in a similar situation, dd is 7 and a half months and a bottle refuser, I am due back to work when she turns 10months and worried she will go hungry?

Any tips that worked for you?

Hi OP, how are you getting on? I did a gradual reduction from 6 months, my DD was also a bottle refuser from birth but I found with weaning she started taking water from an avent sippy cup. Once she’d mastered swallowing water we tried formula (which was very hit and miss!). Eventually then we started trying to replace feeds with the cup and DH would do it. She’s 13 months and only now has all 4 milk feeds with cows milk. It took a lot of perseverance because she was a real boob addict but definitely keep offering the cup every day and they will soon get used go the idea

Hi, I'm currently in denial! Due to covid and also I didn't want to leave her we haven't tried cold turkey yet. She does eat and drink water pretty well although spits alot out so I am thinking I might just leave it..
@Megzmoo don't worry she won't go hungry but she might end up reverse cycling and feeding all night..which is kind of what I wanted to avoid as well but me and dh can never be consistent enough to drop feeds and she still feeds 7-20x a day so it's hard to know when to drop one! Hope you have better perseverance than me.