Witnessed family violence towards kid. What do you do?

[Jellybeans20]

My family was very shocked recently when we were out for dinner and our friend slapped his toddler girl across the face for eating their peas that had fallen onto the table. It was a clear slap.
They carried on like normal and we were in the process of paying and leaving. It really caught me by surprise and I wasn't able to say anything at the time :(.

To what extent is this normal behaviour?
What are examples of things you would say when you see this?
Would you say anything? Would you avoid them? Have people lost it this year? This was very surprising.

I presume you're not in England (lockdown rules), but is there an organisation like NSPCC you can call for advice? I don't think you should ignore this event - if he does this in public, he might be treating her even worse in private.

As you said it’s a slap and not lawful chastisement.

I’d be concerned if that’s the norm in public, what goes on behind closed doors.

It’s not right and not parenting and in my eyes should be reported and would have told them that.

Firstly don't blame yourself for not being able to say anything at the time, this is a very shocking thing to witness, imo this is extremely serious and suggests that even worse abuse will be occurring behind closed doors.
I would write a detailed account of what happened and what other witnesses there were.

There is no part of that action by the Father that was acceptable.
What would I do ?
Hard to say without more background.
Where are you (affects legality of corporal punishment but never makes it right)
Wow well do you know the family
Do you know the Mother well enough to raise it
Is there an older child who may also be at risk
How volatile is the Father
Would he listen to a calm convertor would that put the child in more danger.
The only thing I know us that I would do something

Where are you?

Thanks for all the responses and advice.
There is no older sibling.
I was very surprised. They have always come across as a model family.
Having said that, during and post-lockdown, I've noticed some red flags in people (not this kind).

To describe the awful incident, it wasn't a swing at her face but to me it's still awful regardless. The hand was probably 3 inches away from the face and it sounded like a clap. So it wasn't a pat nor was it a swing. There was no yelling. A small child need not have a large adult hand touching their face in a manner that is not gentle. It is humiliating. The mother softly pleaded not to. All of this happened within a matter of seconds but it was alarming.

I don't condone this behaviour but to me it didn't seem their normal. The idea I am getting is that this family needs help and counselling. There is a toddler and then younger triplets. Both the parents work full time and I'm sure they struggled during lockdown. They have always appeared to be very loving and attentive to the needs of their kids. Their house (before lockdown) has always been tidy with a healthy vibe. They could have been paranoid the kid would pick up germs from the food that fell on the table. I noticed they were sanitizing more than normal. The wife's protest may mean it's not the first time.

Stop making excuses for child abuse.

Are you close enough to the mum to raise it gently? Ask her if lockdown has generated a lot of stress? Whether she needs any help?

Try to be supportive, but if she blocks your efforts, I'd call the NSPCC for advice.

Hitting an infant anywhere on the head/face risks damage to the ears and developing brain. It's absolutely not acceptable.

@Mintjulia Yes I will speak to her. That's a great idea. I don't agree with throwing families in the system without considering alternate interventions. From experience, I know you could be doing more damage to a child in more than one way when you put them in the system. These are people I looked up to in the past and I've known them since high school, which is also why I believe this is not their normal.

@2bazookas I can assure you that what I witnessed would definitely not affect the brain. But just because it might not physically hurtful or damaging (I can't judge that), doesn't mean it's not serious.

In my opinion, it induces fear, humiliates and affects on a psychological level. You are supposed to trust your parents. If your parents treat you like this, what will you tolerate from others? It would affect the self-esteem. A child shouldn't be approached violently.

This upsetting to read. It should be reported

It's on my mind because again like many of you have said this was in public and private may be worse.
I am collecting all my thoughts. I am still in shock.

It sounds like they're struggling with lockdown, a pre-schooler plus triplets. Are you in a position to help?

I'm in no way saying it's acceptable but I think most people would be losing the plot in their situation.

I don't think you should ignore this - but perhaps find a way to get them some help rather than reporting them.

I feel sorry for the little girl.

I'm not condoning what they did but have you ever thought they may have reacted through stress? You mention they are usually paranoid about germs, could Covid have increased their stress & they are at breaking point? Could you try to have a conversation with them before jumping to any conclusions? My mum once gave me a right slap when I was about 9, I only recently found out that at the time she was worried sick about my dad losing his job & how they would manage & suffering from depression at the same time.

Is there any cctv at the restaurant?

Either way I'd call the police and report that he'd assaulted his dd. I wouldn't warn him or the mum and give them time to get their stories straight. The police will report to children's services and give him a clear message that it's not acceptable to slap his child

You say recently - does this mean a day? A week? You really must act on this. I was that child and nobody ever intervened. Public face slapping and hair pulling was a regular event. I realise not everyone is confident enough to do so, but to be honest, I would have said something there and then.