11 year old boy wanting to wrestle younger sister

[JadeRuby1988]

I am a step parent to an 11 year old boy and 8 year old girl.
Over recent weeks I have noticed that the 11 year old will want to initiate 'wrestling' with his sister. I will discreetly watch them and I don't see anything overly concerning but it is very physical - rolling around on the floor and climbing over each other. It never escalated to the point where one of them gets injured. Last week we heard the 8 year old say "penis" in a sentence when they were doing it so their father intervened and told them to stop.
I am finding it is making me uncomfortable and I am worried it is going to happen again this weekend when we have them to stay with us.
I am quite clueless to child development and part of me wonders if the 11 year old is enjoying the physical contact with his sister??? Sorry if that sounds bad I just don't know how to word it. My gut instinct is that we need to put a stop to it completely?
Thanks in advance for any advise.

Going by a recent thread in here it’s apparently and sadly quite common 🤷‍♀️

@DrinkFeckArseGirls

Going by a recent thread in here it’s apparently and sadly quite common 🤷‍♀️

Oh really... do you remember the name of the thread so I can have a look? I've tried looking on here earlier and couldn't find a similar thread

It's normal. Depends in what context the word "penis" was used. My Ds 10 uses it because he thinks it's funny to cover his genitals and roll round the floor claiming to have been kicked by his 7 years sister.

Rough and tumble at those ages is fine. You're right to monitor to make sure it doesn't get out of hand.

It's a shame you feel the way you do. I think you need to talk to their dad about it. You clearly need reassurance that they are just having fun. You can't go on suspecting the 11 year old of serial intent towards his sister. That is going to damage your family beyond repair.

Rather than sexual it’s probably a socially acceptable way for him to ‘beat her up’ or release his aggression which is probably why he likes it. I’d suggest saying no next time and explaining that he’s 11 and bigger than her so could really hurt her.

It was this thread, OP. This is not to say that is what happening in our situation 🤞🏻 but as I said - a more common than we would hope for occurrence.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4029697-Did-your-brother-ever-say-anything-inappropriate-to-you-MNHQ-adding-content-warning-for-abuse

I have two boys, younger than the kids you are talking about, and their favourite activity is to roll around on the floor wrestling (or chasing each other when outside). Isn't that just the way boys play with their friends and their siblings? Would you be even remotely concerned of both kids were boys?

Obviously I can't say for sure, but it seems to me 99% likely that this is normal kid rough and tumble play, and 1% chance there is anything inappropriate about it. You are reading a whole wealth of things into the situation because of your adult heightened awareness of sexual violence between men and women. Honestly, I'd keep an eye out that the bigger kid isn't hurting the younger child - either accidentally or on purpose - but beyond that, I would t worry.

I think it’s extremely sad that anyone would feel uncomfortable or read anything into this other than siblings playing

It might be innocent play but at ages 8 and 11 there's a danger he will really hurt her by not realising his own strength. But also beware, at a similar age I had an older cousin who would use this sort of rough and tumble play to assault me, it was disgusting and 40 or so years later I still remember it vividly. So I would say trust your gut instinct, if it seems wrong then prevent it.

@Nordman

It might be innocent play but at ages 8 and 11 there's a danger he will really hurt her by not realising his own strength. But also beware, at a similar age I had an older cousin who would use this sort of rough and tumble play to assault me, it was disgusting and 40 or so years later I still remember it vividly. So I would say trust your gut instinct, if it seems wrong then prevent it.

Same here. I had a cousin who used to use 'play wresting' and pin me down inappropriately. However he was 14 and I was 10, big difference.

I have two boys and stopped wrestling type play pretty early on because it always ended up in someone being hurt or something being knocked over and broken. But also because it was never going to be a fair game due to the fact one is always older which I think applies to your situation too OP and also the sex difference means that at 11 yo it stepson is about to become a lot stronger than his sister will ever be. IMO it’s time to stop them wrestling.