Stuck in a 2 bedroomed flat, no chance of moving to house unless we have another child so should we, have another baby I mean?

[anneboleyn]

Don't know which topic to post this under. I am an old faithful but felt the need to lurk under a name change. Yes I am ashamed to be thinking of doing this but also feel it may be the only thing to do.

We do want another child one day, our other children are still very young but don't think I can bear living here and there is no chance of another house coming up for us. There are always 30 people or so up the list. We pay our rent, are good tenants, just want a bit more space, a garden and get away from this locked in flat we are stuck in.

Another baby would give us many more points, we would want it too, our children are our joy, it's just it would be now rather than when we should really have it.

I am on exchange list but no one would want to move here!

rent is very low though council housing, privately renting would be more than double and way beyond our income.

it is just frustrating as 3 bedroom places come up every week but are miles above us and girl at the council told me as long as homeless people keep applying they will always be above us. she indicated that the people they were housing weren't all homeless, just saying they were, working the system, i am just sick of it so why shouldn't we do the same.

LVOC - Oh we have moved from the hell situation we were in but still in temp we have not been housed so we still have no proper home, we live in a 2 bedroom ground floor flat with ds & dd sharing a room.

We are looking at waiting another 2-3 years yet hoohum

I am grateful we have a home. I am. I guess I should focus on that. I am not trying to be greedy. Just want to give my children a better environment.

(yes I should have done better, got a great career and big house before I had kids so I am a fuck up but now I have to make the most of it.)

people work the system by moving in with relatives and such.
some people know how to really work the system

anneboleyn - No your not a fuck up at all, your obviously just struggling like alot of others.

the housing situation all over the country is a bloody mess, i feel your frustration i really do, i am going through it all at the moment & have been since sept 06 it's an awful situation i feel for you.

how old are your children? does your council work on a points system?

The way you feel is completely understandable, but I would just be afraid that you'd have to put up with a much worse situation before it got better, iyswim.

I'm sure you're not a fck up.

the council sent s a list of housing assocations, including areas where houses had been built. i looked closely at that.

could you move area?

its not you that is fucked up its the whole housing system. there is absolutley no way we could afford private rent even with both of us working and we could only get a mortgage for about 80 grand which means we can't buy either. so we are stuck here for the mo but its not going to be for ever. we arelucky tho in that we have a garden and a green out the front for the kids to play on no garden would do my nut in.

A mortgage is way beyond us, a terraced house in the town where we live is £119,000. Not a chance that we could afford that.

Theya re building new houses in our district but we just aren't far enough up the list to get one.

The whole situation makes me feel trapped.

If you're good rent payers, then hopefully, in the next couple of years, there will be some part-ownership type schemes you can take part in.

i'm off too bed now but i really hope that something works out for you as i know how horrible it is too live somewhere you don't like. good luck in whatever you decide to do.

thank you for being kind. I needed that.

i know we need to be sensible, despite all desire to remedy the situation, a baby won't fix it. Only we can fix it.

I was in your exact situation and the got pregnant with my 3rd, not to get a bigger place I might add. We planned for dp to transfer to a cheaper area and we were going to rent privatly but it didn't work out.

In the end I had 2 dd's and a ds. I did get moved after 18mths but this is very rare and I| was incredibly lucky. I did have lots of other points for other reasons though ie nightmare neighbours and medical points because of damp flat and dd2's asthma.

Have you tried exchanging ?? It's not often someone wants to exchange to a smaller place but it does happen occasionally.

Message withdrawn

Surely there are other ways to get a better dela for your children than foist a sibling on them who may just lead to overcrowding and additional stress. I don't know what your circumstances are , obviously, but remember you have highly subsidised rent which would increase for a larger property whether social housing , HA or private rental and HB may not simply make up the difference. Perhaps you could focus your energies on securing a route out of your existing circumstances before deciding whether you can accommodate another child ? Advisors such as those at CAB or Council Helpshops may be able to help you plan ahead.

Having another baby will not solve your problems, it'll just make the worse as you'll be even more crowded with a newborn and all the items you need for one.

I also cant imagine thinking of having a child to get a house, not the best reason to tell a child you had him to enable you to move. What if having the new baby doesnt get you a move, would you resent the child or have another to give you even more points?

Look at your other options - can you move to a cheaper area and rent? If your income is low you may qualify for help with rent on a private rental. Could you work and claim tax credits for childcare so that you had the extra income for rent?

i think it could well backfire on you if you were to do this, almost certainly in fact. some people live in terrible overcrowded conditions, much worse than yours and they still have no hope of getting a better property.

you may get lucky (i use the term loosely) and be offered a property that noone else wants as i was. this place had been turned down by so many people as its unmodernised, was a damp riddled wreck..but that depends of course on whether you would accept that for the sake of a bigger home. it took them years to sort out the damp and put us heating in and it was bloody miserable but we were still lucky to even get a house.

i think an exchange is your best option, some people do want to move to a smaller property. for a couple whose children have left home and who cant be bothered with a garden, your flat may be ideal. you never know.