Third baby experiences and gaps

[Mumplum1]

Hello ladies! 🙂

I have been feeling that I would love a third child, the thought of a third is so exciting but also terrifies me ... quite a bit! I just wondered if any ladies who had 3 could tell me your honest feelings and experience and also how you found your age gap.

Thank you very much in advance 🙂

My first two are 20 months apart and I found that hard. So we waited 6 years for the third and couldn’t be happier. The older two absolutely love their baby sister. Especially the middle child. He dotes in his baby sister. It is so sweet to see the joy and happiness. Plus I’m able to focus on the baby when kids are at school and not feel like I’m too busy w the toddler etc.

Well I'm not there yet but there's 2.5 years between my two aged 5 and 7.5 and pregnant with number 3. They will be 8 and 5.5 when baby is born next May. How old are yours?

@mamabear12 That makes sense having more time for baby. I found my gap hard too so thought if we have another, I would wait a little longer, although I have heard people say don't wait because its hard restarting into baby mode and night wakings again. Is this true?

@Mishmased Congratulations! Has pregnancy been easier so far with the bigger gap? Mine are 3 and 1.

@Mumplum1 this has been a much more difficult pregnancy and I'm only 14 weeks. It could just be that my previous pregnancies were so easy and this is what a normal pregnancy is like. I have constant nausea, can't eat I'm on anti sickness meds and exhausted. I can't imagine having a 3 year old. When my youngest was 3 we decided he was still too young for another sibling unlike his older brother that was 3 when youngest was 6 months. I know I will regret not having a third so here we are. Forgot to add I'm older at 34, kids were born when I was 26 and 29 so seven years from first baby.

@Mumplum1 I should add it's easier as they're independent so no lifting anyone, they feed themselves, they can dress themselves but I still love helping them, bathroom etc. They can play together while I have a lie down or just read a book beside me. So all good on their side. DH keeps an eye on them two days a week while he works from home on the days I'm at work and they just knock on the door if they need anything. So yes their age is much easier.

Im sorry this preg has been harder for you, sounds awful, nothing worse than the nausea, hopefully in next few weeks the nausea improves for you and your energy levels too.

You are similar age to me, which is another deciding factor I suppose as I feel I have less energy etc as time goes on. I was 29 when my first was born.

Interesting to think about the youngest personality for another etc too, I never considered that.

Playing together nicely while you nap sounds amazing! Roll on that time in our house lol. Thank you so much for sharing all of that with me, I really appreciate it

We had 14 months between first two. Then 18 months till the third arrived. We weren't planning that small a gap!

The first two and a half years nearly killed us, I cant lie. We basically had three babies. It didn't help I'm not too fond at all of the baby stage.

They are 6, 5 and nearly 4 now, and they get on so, so well. All into the same games and tv etc. If one wants to play, there is always one of the others there to accommodate! This us the right number for us and we have no regrets about the age gap.
My husband is very hands on though, I defo wouldn't recommend that gap for anyone if there arent two parents totally involved in pulling their weight

Not for me. I thought it would be so hard. But you just get on with it. Mine is fully breastfeeding and the first couple months she woke every 2 hours! Then 3 hours and twice a night until 8 months and then once a night and sleeping through by 9.5 months. She is almost 1 year and we are happy w this age gap. However, we do have an au pair as an extra pair of hands to help.

I'm fairly new to it, have older children 5 and 3 and my third was born one month ago. So far, I'd say I've found it the easiest transition, the hardest was by far 0 to 1!

The pregnancy was okay, but perhaps the year of Covid helped as I haven't been having to travel to work etc. I was fairly sick in the early days which coincided with home schooling and juggling work.

My older children have adapted fairly well, they 5 year old in particular is such a little star with her.
We agonised over number 3, worried about pushing our luck, we've had to get a bigger house and car, and that's been fairly stressful but in general I'm pleased with this decision so far! Looking forward to her getting bigger and seeing how she fits in.

I’m due DC3 and actually thinking of DC4 as still don’t feel ‘complete’ although of course the baby isn’t here yet!
I have a 3 & 5 year old & my 3 year old has just started sleeping through the night with one wake up (breastfed until he was 3). I genuinely wrote off a third, however once I started getting a bit more sleep, we decided to go for it.
Hopefully we have made the right choice, there’s no going back anyway! I’m sure we will cope I’m hoping this baby sleeps like my firstborn.
If you have the money, space & most importantly you WANT a third then I say go for it

@Notashandyta you're my hero, I salute you 😆👍

@Mamabear12 (your username is so familiar) my first woke every 2 hours for the first 20 months and forgot to add breastfeeding continued until almost 2.5 as my milk dried up during pregnancy!
He first slept for 6 hours straight at 23 months due to a combination of reflux, eczema and allergies.

Our second was decided on because:
1.) We felt if we waited any longer we would stick with just only one and didn't want that.
2.) No way will it be as bad second time round. Thankfully it was easier only because we had an extremely tough time with the first.

@Mumplum1 it is glorious that they play together. They argue the odd time but they're great. You're not far off now as we have similar gaps between our kids.
I found I was able to still enjoy the baby even though my first was still young but he was very mature. Which is why we decided we had to wait a bit as second was quite babyish.

Really looking forward to them fussing over the baby and they'll be in school during the day so I will have time with the baby. Yours are still very young so enjoy them for now and if you work full or part time take into account the childcare if you have no family help. This baby will cost around 1k (euro/Ireland) if we decide on full time nursery/crèche.
What is your husband's opinion on expanding the brood?😁

My elder DC were 13 & 7 when DC3 was born.

I personally like a longer age gap as when DC1 started school DC2 was born a few months later. I felt like I had enough time to give each plenty of one on one time and attention and DC1 was never jealous of DC2. They were close enough in age to play together and enjoy shared activities, similar toys, but not so close in age that they squabbled over things or couldn’t share etc

DC3 was a surprise and is absolutely brilliant, that being said if I had been planning a DC3 I would have had a smaller gap between DC2 & DC3 same as I had between DC’s 1 & 2. I do worry that DC3 will be left behind a little bit as DC1 is now 16 and DC2 not far off 11 while DC3 is just about to turn 3, so while they do have siblings it won’t be the same playing/playmate experience my older 2 had.

@seaduck congrats!
@Slat3 best of luck exciting times!

My DD is 12 & 13 years younger than her siblings (2nd family) and surprisingly it's a good gap. The older ones were immensely patient and kind with her, no rivalry or arguments over toys, she 'inherited' lots of their stuff and it allowed the older kids to 'play' a little longer.

@Lillygolightly you know the solution to that is number 4 🤣🤣

@Mishmased we were pregnant with our second when my first was 11 months. The 20 month gap wasn’t easy!! I think 3 years is when it becomes a lot more easy. I love the big gap now as the older ones are independent and can play with the baby for a minute when I need toilet or can get me something.

Don’t think I could carry on breastfeeding that long! I’m ready to wean her off soon.

@Mamabear12 the plan was never to feed for that long but due to his dairy and egg allergies I went along with it. At that age he was only feeding twice a day as I was gone to work for 9 hours. I read your first post as you had a baby and an au pair and I thought how lovely 😁

@Mamabear12 how olde are the others?

Thank you so much to everyone who replied, its great to see so many different perspectives on baby 3 and the gap. I think what I have gauged from all your comments is having a bit bigger gap between 2 and 3 is best.

Bigger car and a house are also good things to consideration as we only have 3 bedrooms. 😏

*to consider

@Mumplum1 technically if your youngest is 4 by the time baby is born, there is no need for a bigger car. I've just had three car seats fitted in the back of my Vauxhall Astra. Two Be Izi high back boosters and and a baby seat in the middle. I had my car checked this week as I'm a planner so like to have things all laid out!

Failing that there is the multimac car seats unless you really want a bigger car.

With regards rooms older two can share for a while as we are in a 4 bed but my two have always wanted to share and they've been sharing since 18 months and 4 years. They still share now and we are trying to get them to stop sharing.

Mine were 6 and 3 when third child was born. Perfect gap is 3 years imo as older one will be at pre-school 😂

They were 10, 7 and 4 when fourth child came along.

@Mishmased my DH would leave the country, number 3 pushed him to the edge

[quote Lillygolightly]@Mishmased my DH would leave the country, number 3 pushed him to the edge [/quote]
🤣🤣🤣🤣

I have an 18 month age gap between 1 & 2 and then had my unexpected 3rd with a 5 year age gap between her and my middle child. I was 37 when I had her and really worried about that.

My youngest Dd was the best unexpected gift for all of us. She is absolutely adored and I would say go for it!