Road safety

[slfk3]

Have had second incident of nearly 9 year old son not looking and crossing the road between school gate and home. Both myself and husband have spoken firmly and seriously to him about how to cross safely and why it's important, he's a bright child and has no developmental issues that would prevent him from understanding he just seems to forget in skipping and being a little boy. Both times it hasn't been a near enough miss with cars to scare him either, and I have his two younger brothers in toe and he think he's too old to hold my hand anyway so not sure what to do. Any tips from anyone who has had similar issues?

We had similar - kept trying nicely to explain it. In the end we showed him tests with crash test dummies showing the impact of cars against pedestrians.

I found a clip from
Devon police of an 11 year old girl who ran into the road and gets hit by a car, she gets up and walks away so he just shrugged and said she was fine. Shall try crash dummies!

They do normally do road safety in schools around this age but suspect its another thing that has been knocked on the head at the moment. I volunteered for this - felt like it was a family tradition as My Dad was the ouncil guy for where we lived for the tufty club and the green crossed code man.

Basically you walk with the children holding hands, and hazard spot - so you do parking areas and parked cars - what to listen for exhaust pipes, engines, revving, indicators when they flash with someone opening a car, how to keep away from doors that might open, get them to sit in cars and see if they can see other kids in the mirrors when they are around the car, the height of wing mirrors which is why they should stay well back from the curb etc . We talk to them about break lights and so on and how they know if a car is on or off and which direction its travelling (so reversing lights)

Then on the road - we went to a busy rd supposedly a 40 and measured speeds to show childrren how drivers ignore the rules and create danger, we spot drivers eating, on the phone, with lots of people in cars and the same for lorries - and beign busy the noise hits them as well standing there for a short time (well back from the actual road an again holding onto the kids etc) we explain why running on a road is a no no - in case of falls and also the speed of movement means a driver doesn't have time to react etc, the importance of using crossing points and if there are none then how to pick a safe spot but also what is the safest way (ie an adult accompanying and holding hands).

For me your Son doesn't sound old enough to cross himself and needs to stay with you still either holding onto pram or a chain of handhlding (you could sell it as teaching a younger sibling to be safe etc)

Te driving on todays road - volume of cars as well as behaviour, means for the most part it is not safe until much older - I am afraid I see kids 11 to 16 also being ridiculous on bikes etc and not understanding the life changing things that can happen. People think we should shelter children from accident outcomes but I am afraid I don't think we shuld - they take far too many risks and treat it as a video game where thy just have to wait for another life to pop up

I wondered about road safety at school, they haven't done it and the bike ability thing they would normally do this year hasn't been mentioned.

I think the problem we have where we are is the school is in a medieval town center, so the roads are mostly narrow, one way streets connected by pedestrian only lanes, so it's part safe and part not. It's not like being in a properly urban area where they would feel the need to be closer to me as most of the children coming out of school are skipping and larking about and as he is my eldest I'm not entirely sure how strict is normal at his age for them to be close to me, I don't want them to feel smothered and babied IYSWIM, obviously don't want them dead either.

I don't have any advice for you but you are definitely right to be concerned - I got hit by a bus at the same age from not getting off my bike and looking before crossing. I wasn't hurt but lost conciousness for a few hours. My helmet got so dented the school asked to keep it to use in safety demonstrations.

Maybe you could talk to the school about teaching road safety to their students?

My sister dashed into the road without lookinga few times at this age- my mother made her hold her hand crossing the road every time for a month. She was furious, the words "if you act like a toddler you'll be treated like a toddler" were said many many times, but my sister never got hit by a car.

You've been nice about it, it hasn't worked. Sometimes a little bit of embarrassment is the only way to get through to them, and this is far too important to let slide. He could easily be killed, or he could cause someone else grievous injury while attempting to avoid him, and your younger children will learn from his example.