Parents with dogs - how does your dog coexist with a baby?

[EggscellentEggplant]

I'll try to keep this brief. My dog is an older dog, baby is 4 months. Dog seems jealous of baby. To start with we were letting dog sniff baby but stopped that because dog has tried to nip at baby.
Dog wants attention all the time, obviously baby always wants attention all the time too! We are employing a trainer/behaviourist but I am unclear what our aim even is anymore, i.e. what a positive future would look like and how we can get there with training?
Do you allow your baby to crawl on the floor while the dog is around? I'm not sure I could trust dog with this after trying to nip, its made me super anxious? Does your dog spend pretty much all their time kept away from the baby on their own? How do you work it without everyone being miserable? What does your average day look like?
And no we never would have predicted this, dog has NEVER shown aggression to another person, not even so much as a growl.

I don’t understand why you would want to let dog sniff baby.
You need to keep them apart. Room divider?
How old is older dog? Pain?

I have a dog and a toddler and they are both out together but never unsupervised. Dog isn't allowed upstairs so I get to dress DC and do bathtime etc without dog around.

If dog had nipped DC I would probably not have them in the same room, tbh.

The sniffing was to try get the dog used to the baby, because she kept wanting to see what the baby was.

Dog approached baby during the attempted nipping, baby was just sat on the sofa, not even making a noise. If baby had approached dog then I may suspect pain but there are no signs dog is in pain. Dog is 11.

What a nightmare. Older dogs can be grumpy though, so if she's shown aggression I would absolutely not let baby crawl round with dog in the room and sadly would keep them apart. If your dog started to try and attack your baby, you probably couldn't react quickly enough to avoid harm.

If it’s out of character then I would recommend a vet check. Eyesight or hearing or pain issues can cause behavioural changes.
But you don’t want to introduce them. You want the dog to ignore the baby. You must keep them apart.

Tricky, my dog is around the kids the whole time. To be fair he normally follows me, so if I left the room he would follow me 99% of the time especially if I was cooking or getting food. He doesn't like bath time so lays outside the door, sometimes he wants to come in, then there's some splashing and he will want to go out again 😂 So yes, baby about (10 month old) crawling around. I also have an older child.

Unless you have always kept the dog separate, I don't think it's fair to start separating them. Our dog sleeps in his basket in our bedroom too. I do trust the dog, but say there is a knock at the door or loud noise dog can bark and make kids jump or rush to door. I've only had one incident with youngest and she got a small scratch when dog didn't like the multiple door bell rings of the Hermes man. I was on the floor with the baby, so was one of those things.

@EggscellentEggplant is your dog a nippy breed ? Sheep dog / lurcher ? If the situation is stressful for your dog then certainly get a behaviourist to visit. I probably have a load of stuff I might be able to find it if you want to PM I'll have a search, but it would be Ladder of aggression type info you can google it. But correcting behaviour is a lot of work. Very hard in these positive dog training times.

So I personally would stop the behaviour with a loud ahh noise. This is not what the behaviourist will tell you though. They will say reward good behaviour. I use the loud ahhh noise to stop my dog eating a grape or if he stepped in the road off the lead. This method is sort of frowned on these days as considered aversion training although I'd say it's just an interruption as is gentle, but kids/ dog I feel you have to tell them no. Give it a shot and then consider whether your dog might be better in an adult only home. Please don't listen to anyone saying you can't give your dog up when you have kids. Sorry I adore dogs but kids are more important and so is the dogs well-being.

I have a 3 year old dog, a ds who is almost 3 and a 1 year old dd. The dog is a large breed, and is very much a nanna dog to my kids, she is brilliant, very patient, loves to play with them, get cuddles from them, and hoover up the food they drop in their wake. I'm happy to let the kids play on the floor with her there as long as one of us is in the room watching too. I still wouldn't leave her alone with either of them, though, either she goes in to another room, or into her crate, or either dog or kids come with me.

We did also have a smaller dog, but we sadly rehomed him to my sil after he became aggressive towards the children. There is a big difference in breed and temperament between the two dogs, but the main difference is that the bigger dog was around babies and kids from a puppy, its all she's known, whereas the older one was used to just adults. It seemed fairer on the dog to remove him from the situation rather than something awful happen and us have to put him down, I couldn't have coped with that. So he's gone off to live out his retirement with sil who treats him like a king, and no children bother him at all. I miss him, but it was the right choice all round.

Absolutely I will not put baby in harms way. I am wondering then if our focus with the trainer should be to train the dog to be happy separated from us by room divider. I just don't know if this is any kind of nice life for dog given that baby will be spending more and more time on the floor in future

We have a very old terrier bitch who can be nippy when stressed. She and the baby (now toddler) are kept apart. When the baby started crawling we put a baby gate on the living room door to keep the dog out.

Our daughter is now 16 mo and basically ignores the dog. She had learned not to approach the dog when it is sleeping or eating and is very respectful generally. If the dog nipped our child, it would be our fault for not supervising carefully enough.

It helps that our dog is now largely deaf and sleeps most of the day. A young, energetic dog would have been much harder.

@Ihaveoflate

We have a very old terrier bitch who can be nippy when stressed. She and the baby (now toddler) are kept apart. When the baby started crawling we put a baby gate on the living room door to keep the dog out.

Our daughter is now 16 mo and basically ignores the dog. She had learned not to approach the dog when it is sleeping or eating and is very respectful generally. If the dog nipped our child, it would be our fault for not supervising carefully enough.

It helps that our dog is now largely deaf and sleeps most of the day. A young, energetic dog would have been much harder.

How did the dog take to being kept apart from the family? Our dog is quite attached and follows us everywhere so I don't know how realistic it is to expect her to accept being separated by a gate now at her age

We've never kept dog/baby apart.

We spent a lot of time when we bought dd home making a fuss of the dog so he didn't feel pushed out, made sure he got all his walks as normal. He still slept on our bed,while dd was in her moses basket

If dd was lying on her playmat the dog used to lie next to her.

@EggscellentEggplant

I think the set up of our house helps - the dog is only prevented from entering the living room, but she never really went in there anyway. She has a bed in the kitchen (where she sleeps at night) and one on the hall where she spends most of the day sleeping. She is free to go upstairs but she doesn't attempt that now due to her advanced age.

When we're all in the kitchen together, I just watch the baby like a hawk and issue a firm 'ah, ah' if she approaches the dog or its food/bed. The dog really couldn't be less bothered by the child! I think it helps that she has quite an aloof personality anyway and is not a lapdog. She still gets her usual walks and is otherwise quite content - even more so now that we're both WFH during the day and the baby is at nursery 3 days a week.

When we first brought baby home our dog was very interested. She just wanted to be around the baby. When baby was sleeping in my bed, the dog would sleep at the way corner of the bed. She has always had a friendly temperament. But I still don’t trust animals completely w babies or young children as you never know.

One night I went into the babies room when she was about 5 weeks old and sleeping in the Moses basket and to my shock I saw my dog curled up in a ball just at the bottom of the Moses basket. Now I look back and think how sweet it was. But at that moment I was like oh no! Out! Bc I was worried about the dog being alone w the baby. And especially in the middle of the night!

Fast forward to baby now almost 1. The dog now just avoids that little pincher baby who likes to grab and pinch the fur. The baby laughs for joy every time she sees the dog. The dog just wonders away.

Every dog is different. Would never trust an animal w a baby. It may not mean harm, but for example if it were to cuddle a newborn it could accidentally suffocate it etc. Or the baby when older could hurt the dog.

We have two older kids who the dog sleeps with all the time (7 and 8). I think from age 5 it’s okay. But any younger I would keep an eye at all times they are together.

I have two dogs (ages 6 and 3) and an 8 month old DD. Prior to baby being born we put a baby gate between our living room and dining room so that I could easily separate the dogs if needed (I was quite anxious about it as our older dog is a rescue and I wasn't sure how she'd be). Our dogs used to bark if we were in and they were apart from us, but they accepted the baby gate really quickly (I guess because they could see us?), In reality they aren't that separate from us as I am in and out of the dining room all day anyway!

We found a good balance for us, a typical day with our dogs is that they are in the kitchen/dining room while we have breakfast with them (DD in highchair) - they sit under the highchair as it means nonstop food , I then take DD in the living room to play, we then have lunch with the dogs again and then after lunch head out for a walk (usually about an hour) then they're back in the kitchen/diner until 5 when my husband finishes work, we're in the kitchen then until after dinner when it's DDs bedtime so then they come in the living room. I'd estimate that they're probably "away" from us about 4 hours of the day max.

If a baby gate wouldn't work, how about a playpen for your little one? I know a few people who have taken this stance and it's worked well for them.

To be honest, the dogs were really interested when DD was new but now are only interested when she's got food . I still don't like them around while she's on the floor as I feel on edge as even though I know they wouldn't hurt her on purpose they are quite boisterous with each other.

baby gates!

whats the alternative OP? one of my dogs was older, tot arrived and to put this politely - tough shit.
dogs are loved, walked and cared for. But that 1st baby came first. always.

as it happend, it was brilliant, as they were always separate until baby could crawl/walk - the dog was boring A>F to the baby. And vice versa

after baby was walking, they were allowed together but never ever left alone. During the day if the baby was on the floor,the dog was always behind a gate.

they both need space.

@carly2803

baby gates!

whats the alternative OP? one of my dogs was older, tot arrived and to put this politely - tough shit.
dogs are loved, walked and cared for. But that 1st baby came first. always.

as it happend, it was brilliant, as they were always separate until baby could crawl/walk - the dog was boring A>F to the baby. And vice versa

after baby was walking, they were allowed together but never ever left alone. During the day if the baby was on the floor,the dog was always behind a gate.

they both need space.

Yes I think this is the way forward. Our dog barks constantly when excluded though, but hopefully the trainer can help us with this