I'm writing this because I wanted to hear others experiences with co-parenting & how to manage feelings about my ex.
We have a daughter together who is nearly a year old. We weren't together very long (I fell pregnant, unplanned, after 6 months together) and I ended the relationship when our daughter was a few weeks old.
He sees our daughter every other weekend (he stays with us when he does, as he lives 2 hours away), and I often lose my temper when he's here.
He doesn't listen to me when I ask him to help with things, and only wants to sit and play with her. He doesn't understand how exhausting parenting is because he never has to do anything consistently and only does the "fun" jobs.
I'm finding it hard to move past my feelings. When I was pregnant, I only saw him a handful of times as he was constantly working (so that when the baby came, he could have more time off). When our daughter arrived, he continued to work ridiculous hours and made little time to help me with her as a newborn. He was unkind and neglectful, and would moan about helping with anything more than a nappy (he's only been up with her once at night and I never heard the end of it).
Now she's bigger & plays & interacts, he suddenly wants a medal for being dad of the year. I'm happy he is finally paying her attention, but I feel like he takes credit for her existence when he has had so little to do with it. He talks to friends and his family about her like she's a trophy to show off, and it makes me want to scream. He doesn't publicly acknowledge that I'm the person who has made all the sacrifices and gives so much to raise our daughter. She's more than just a play toy - she's my little girl who I adore, even though I find it so hard to be around her dad.
I don't want to feel so angry at him anymore. It is exhausting and it means I'm often cold around our daughter when he is here. I don't want her to see me lose my temper at him, but sometimes he makes me see red when he talks about parenting as if he's an expert or undermines me or decisions I have made for my daughter.
I'm trying to move past my feelings but I just don't know how when he makes me so angry. Any words of wisdom? Thanks xx