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Parenting

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Original poster

DD almost mute since breaking her hip

45 replies

SophStressed · 21/11/2020 21:58

A bit under two weeks ago she (11) decided to ride down a hill in a little pushcart while at a friends house. Obviously you can see where this is going, which is more than she managed at the time but what can you do. sigh.

She spent a few days in traction before being put in a spica cast (From her armpits to her ankle on her bad leg, and to her knee on her good leg. ). It was at the hospital I noticed she was acting a bit differently, but I put it down to the stress/trauma of what happened and gave her some time.

She's back home now, but not much has changed. Before this she was a very talkative and bubbly girl, and we were very close. Now she still doesn't talk and I have to ask her about pretty much everything. We keep everything she needs around her bed so she can at least be a teensy bit independent, but I still have to be her full time carer and that's made so much harder by her lack of responses. It's at the point where asking if she's comfy isn't enough and I have to ask her specific "Yes/No" for if she needs to be rolled or needs a pee or anything.

Any advice is appreciated, I'm not sure if this is a rant or desperation, but I miss my cheery girl

OP posts:

TheYearOfSmallThings · 21/11/2020 22:47

By all means look into counseling, but also check with her team whether the dose she is on can be associated with lethargy etc. If she was brighter before surgery and has been on morphine since, it may not be agreeing with her (ignore that if the dose is tapering and no improvement).

Original poster

SophStressed · 21/11/2020 22:58

Aye :/ heavy drugs for someone at this age.

Thanks everyone for the well-wishes, not only for my daughter but for me. I've got a lot to bring up with the doctor and a glass of wine to consult for the night.

OP posts:

swimlyn · 21/11/2020 23:16

It could also be a bad reaction to the anaesthetic?

A friend of ours was seriously affected by some sort of mistake or allergic reaction.

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GrumpyHoonMain · 21/11/2020 23:55

My uncle went like this after his accident and it turned out to be ptsd but another aunt had similar symptoms after a fall and it was a blood clot in the brain - she got 100% better when it was removed. Get her examined by her consultant asap and let them know how drastically her personality has changed - they need to rule out things.

PickAChew · 22/11/2020 00:00

Even without a brain injury, she's had a really traumatic experience and her current situation takes a lot of adjusting to.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/11/2020 00:06

Poor both of you.

I imagine a wilding 11 yo having the time of her life suddenly ending up here, it's going to be a massive shock and emotional/mental trauma.

I agree with everyone - get her checked out if you can, consider counselling, be patient.

And make sure there's someone looking out for you too, cos that shock island trauma will head your way too, you just don't have space for it yet cos you're in MSM - Mom Survival Mode. Look after your own head and heart too

adagio · 22/11/2020 00:06

Poor kid and poor you 😢 hopefully she will start to heal sufficiently that they can reduce the hardcore drugs soon. No experience, but my heart goes out to you both

boatyardblues · 22/11/2020 00:07

Was she in hospital for a while and had nurses/HCAs (basically strangers) toileting her & doing her intimate care? I imagine that would freak out your average 11 year old too. Plus the trauma of the accident, finding herself immobile for weeks and out of it on strong painkillers.

mineofuselessinformation · 22/11/2020 00:17

She's had a massive trauma (and so have you!)
That would take a lot of adjusting to as an adult, let alone a child.
Can you contact the hospital / a physio / your GP as to if this is usual, and how to deal with it?
I would imagine the combination of the accident and the subsequent effects are a lot for her to process.
Trying to get her to at least have some choices in what she's doing (moving around when possible, reading, doing some kind of craft and getting back to some schoolwork) could all help.
For the time being, just be around, reassure her that you're there and if there's anything she wants or needs, you'll help her.
That sounds like a lot to cope with, and you have my sympathy.

Original poster

SophStressed · 22/11/2020 00:24

At the moment I think I'm keeping on trucking on stress alone I'm a single parent so it's been very much a struggle to keep peppy.

Fingers crossed the trauma doesn't stick with her, i'm hoping by the end of this all she can at least get something positive from it, anything at all...

@boatyardblues I looked after her there every moment I could, but yes a lot of her care was from relative strangers :/

OP posts:

ineedaholidaynow · 22/11/2020 00:31

How long is she in the cast for?

Original poster

SophStressed · 22/11/2020 00:36

@ineedaholidaynow Six more weeks if all goes well and she doesn't need another op

OP posts:

ineedaholidaynow · 22/11/2020 00:42

Poor thing

Strawberrycreamsundae · 22/11/2020 01:34

I imagine she’s also pretty frightened of not only the accident but also how it might affect her future mobility, life and friendships etc?
She’s probably in shock and reality is kicking in.
Can you gently coax her to talk?

Titsywoo · 22/11/2020 01:40

How long was she in surgery for? The full effects of anaesthesia can take a long time to wear off if it was a long time under.

aidelmaidel · 22/11/2020 02:18

Has anyone given her the straight talk on worst-case scenarios? I've had to talk a few family members through nasty diagnoses and I've found it helps to find the dark places where they're secretly thinking "what if this is forever?" and getting real. As in, "your treatment is supposed to accomplish x. If it doesn't, you might have to have y mobility aid. We will cope by doing a and b. I have been reading about how people have full lives managing with y."

Mycircusmymonkey · 22/11/2020 08:31

If she’s in the cast for six more weeks ask for an OT referal and see if they will issue a spica chair. At least she would be able be out of bed and they have a tray so she would perhaps have more independence at meal times etc

sashh · 22/11/2020 09:13

I think there are a few things going on here

she isn't invisible
being in bed for 6 weeks is enough to make any one depressed, add a cast to that and it is worse
puberty - lots of changes to her body and now mum's doing everything and can see any perceived 'faults' - shemaybe humiliated by this no matter who you handle it. 3a) periods - if she hasn't started then there is th epossinility of it happening in the cast staining it and then mum doing personal care for that
possible scaring, I imagine she has quite a scar

I'm not saying don't have her assessed for brain injury, that is obviously a priority but 11 is a difficult age for everyone.

Thatwentbadly · 22/11/2020 18:37

It takes an average of 6 weeks for a person to process a traumatic incident. Issue like lack of sleep and medication can make this take longer.

5zeds · 22/11/2020 18:46

I think all of the above is possible but also that oramorph makes me behave like that (it’s also shockingly constipating so be very on top of that). When can she step down on to other meds?

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