Is it ok to keep the older DS in nursery half day when baby arrives?

[frolicmum]

My DS is 21 months and will be 2 years and 4 months when baby arrives in May.

I have spoken to my husband and we can afford to keep him in nursery half day every day. I would drop him at 8, and pick up at 12:30am.

Should I feel guilty for keeping him in the setting and not having them both at home all day? I personally feel like it will be easier for me to cope when I have baby alone in the morning.

I enjoyed going to sensory classes, breastfeeding group etc with my first (who knows that'll be open next year in May/June) but I can't see how I could potentially relax or enjoy this with my DS (he's great and I love him dearly but he's full of beans, runs around all day causing mischief in a nice way of course).

@PabloHoneyBee at the moment, there aren't many children at the nursery due to COVID but they would obviously have to check staff / child ratio etc.

I will check with them. We could afford sending him full time but it does seem a bit much.

He was the easiest baby there was, I wonder what number 2 will be. Caused me a lot more issues in pregnancy already aka feeling so sick for the first weeks where there was nothing with number 1 🙈

If you can afford it then do it without a pang, it will be better for him and you will have more in the tank to give him when you have got them both.

He is far more likely to resent the new baby if his world shrinks to hanging out with you and the baby all day every day, seeing first hand just how much care you have to give to it. He is likely to get bored too, especially if you get a high needs baby - hopefully not!

I think that's a great idea, but I would probably go for fewer full days rather than half days. It's really difficult to get out with a new baby and I found it difficult even to manage the school day (mine was in reception at the time) because once you've dropped off at 9am, to get back for 3pm means you are curtailed in what you can do during the day. I couldn't do any groups that started after 1pm and it was a rush to get to anything for 10am either. Obviously at the moment, nothing much is happening, but it's so much easier to have flexibility either with longer days at nursery or days that are completely free. It wouldn't want to be rushing back for 12 and interrupting naps and lunchtime when you start weaning every day. It's also really nice to have full days to bond with your baby.

How’s it gone from half a day to 5 full days?

I’m due number 2 in Jan and DD1 will carry on doing her two days at nursery. She loves it and gets so much out of it that it’ll be a shame for her to lose that

@OverTheRainbow88

How’s it gone from half a day to 5 full days?

OP was originally talking about five half days, not one.

@OverTheRainbow88 I don't think I mentioned here that we both work full time but we have a nanny for 3x a week who will look after him in our home. I just preferred that when he was tiny but she will leave in April. It's all been discussed with her. I don't want someone additional in the house so much when I'm at home all the time with baby and not in the study working.

I kept my eldest in 2 long days and a half day when number 2 was born. It was the perfect mix of 1:1 with the littlest and time with both of them where we went to groups more suitable for all ages or for my eldest. I think it taught the littlest one to be a bit more confident and robust to be around older toddlers too! Similar age gap - 2y6m