Is this normal and how do I deal with it?

[Mikamee]

Is it normal for a 3 year old boy to say they are a girl? He doesn't do it off his own back it's only when I've asked him but he is insistent. He has many typical boy interests, he loves trains, cars, planes and running about generally being boisterous, although he does love playing with his teddies.
I was just wondering if this is a phase kids go through? And how do I deal with it? Do I ignore it? Play it up?
Thanks

@goldenochre

3 is too young to really understand i think. My DS sometimes refer to himself as girl/boy and does the same to his baby sister (she/he).

I am not really sure how much they can absorb the difference between a boy and a girl other than the typical ones you see at nursery(hair, clothes etc)

This is very true, when my aon was 3 he would often say I was a boy, and I didnt bother correcting him. They don't understand differences. Only someone like Charlize Theron would jump on it and decide to raise their 3 year old as a girl...but she is a nutjob. Don't worry about it OP. Good luck xx

One of mine was a bee for ages. Buzzing constantly, he had a little costume and everything. And he would reverse into people with his bum and pretend to sting them.

He’s now 34 and has self identified as a stingless masonry bee. He wears his costume to work and his colleagues have accepted him totally, after a word with HR. Getting big antennae was an issue for a while, and they kept catching on the roof of his car as he drove to work (only flies at home) but he manages. So proud.

At that age DS2 was a guinea pig and cried if anyone said otherwise. I can't believe that's a question on the ASQ

My son insisted he was a dog the other day, and wanted to play fetch....

Should I take that seriously too?

Nope thought not.

I guess the answer to the question you were asked on the 36month ASQ sheet - whether they can identify as a boy or girl - is "No".

But I wouldn't be concerned about any larger implications at this stage. He's probably just winding you up! Or he really doesn't know the difference between boys and girls - have you told him that having a willy makes him a boy?

My 2 year old said she wanted a Willy for Christmas when they were in the bath last week

My DD thinks all children are girls but uses "he" not "she". She is also a cat for at least 30 minutes every day.

I'm interested in why you think vehicles are "boy interests", my daughter/cat would disagree with you.

Lol just play it up.. just like we used to play "family" when really young child. I cant count how many times i played "daddy" while my brother was my son and cousin was "mummy" 😂 🤷🏽‍♀️

Today DS told me he and DH are brothers (messed my head up for a while) haha but i just said "ok i guess you are brothers then" later explained thats not the case!

@Bestbigsister

One of mine was a bee for ages. Buzzing constantly, he had a little costume and everything. And he would reverse into people with his bum and pretend to sting them.

He’s now 34 and has self identified as a stingless masonry bee. He wears his costume to work and his colleagues have accepted him totally, after a word with HR. Getting big antennae was an issue for a while, and they kept catching on the roof of his car as he drove to work (only flies at home) but he manages. So proud.

Love this!

Its on the 36month ASQ sheet as to whether they can identify themself as a boy or girl, I was doing that and so I just said are you a girl or a boy? and he kept saying girl.

FFS. What a load of utter shite. No wonder the world has gone mad.

When my son was 3 he insisted he was a dinosaur. To my relief, he's now 23 and has accepted that he's a human.

Yes, it's completely normal. Gender is something that they need to develop a concept for. It comes through language development and socialisation. My nearly 3 year old can use the 'right' pronouns generally (though my older one got them completely switched around at that age, would say 'he' when clearly referencing a woman, etc.), but would have no idea probably if I asked him if he was a girl or a boy. He might say boy only because he does know the phrase 'good boy' as they sometimes say it at nursery. But I don't think he really understands what it means. So yes, completely normal.

And for anyone wondering, the question about being a boy or a girl is not some new found woke thing for everyone who is super sensitive about this stuff. It's just a question to gauge development and understanding of the social world. It's nothing more controversial than that.

It's normal, that's why it's a question on the questionnaire, because some children know which sex they are at age 3, and some don't. Even if they know they are a boy/girl it's quite normal at that age not to understand that being a boy means they will be a man/daddy when they grow up and being a girl means they'll be a lady/mummy.

It's not a new thing so nothing to do with gender identity.

My 4 year old knows he's a boy but regularly tells me he wants to be a girl and wants me to buy him a long skirt. It's only because I always wear dresses and we've watched Frozen recently. Nothing to read into at this age!

Today he’s told me he’s a boy like daddy (daddy is here and home from work today) so I think he’s probably just trying to identify with the parent he’s with at the time. Thanks for all the positive responses

Also feel I need to say in response to some comments I’m actually GC to the point where I’ve lost friends over it. I’m not a new tangled wokie who was planning on making him wear dresses and grow his hair, I was just curious as to whether it was a normal part of development and how to deal with it

My son went through a stage when he was 2/3 of saying he was a girl, and if I said he was a boy he'd say 'no girl.' It didn't last for long.