Transitioning from cot to bed

[PippinStar]

Wondering if anyone has any advice / reassurance here. DS, 21mo, has just started climbing out of his cot. I think we have no option but to move him to a bed. There has always been a double in his room, so I put him in that for his nap today and he nodded off no problem.

I tried it again tonight and all hell broke loose. He screamed and screamed and couldn’t be comforted. Myself / DH took it in turns to stay with him and settle him, but he just wanted to play. Every time we left the room though, he started crying again and running out to get us. After an hour of this, we put him back in the cot but he still didn’t settle. He’s still screaming now, over 2 hours later, as we go in and out every 5 mins to resettle. From previous experience, when he gets like this (rarely), nothing soothes him but becoming so exhausted from crying that he passes out. I’d happily cosleep but he only wants to play when he’s with us.

He’s generally an excellent sleeper and goes to bed no problem - we just read him a book and pop him in his cot and he goes to sleep with his teddy.

Is this a normal part of switching to a bed? Anything we can do to make things easier for all of us? Any options other than moving him to a bed? (He can also climb out of the travel cot so that’s not an option.)

We moved DD to a bed a few months ago and had to change our routine to get her to sleep
She drops off to sleep fairly swiftly now but you have to stay in the room most nights - it's taken months but starting to really see an improvement now. We put a baby gate on her door so she can't just run out.

Thanks @Disappointedkoala ... after 3 hours of being unsettled (being totally hyper and wanting to play alternated with crying and screaming) we gave up and put him back in the cot.

He has never once fallen asleep when we were in the room (well, since maybe 8 months old anyway) but he has also never been this unsettled without me being able to fix it somehow.

Really unsure of whether to try again tomorrow night or leave it for a while (and just hope he stops climbing out!!).

I wouldn’t force it. DS is 2y4m and currently sleeping in the cot. In the bed, he seems to have bad nights and wakes up through the night. We had a little zombie with red circles around his eyes when he only slept in the bed for a few weeks. So I let him choose. It’s often the bed at nap time but cot in the night. I’m sure he’ll go to the bed when he’s ready.

I don't recall any problem - my daughter arrived when he was 20 months so he had to go to normal twin in hos room to free up the nursery. We had a guard rail put up. He was excited as he was now in a big boys bed. I know this doesn't help but do you think it is just a coincidence the fuss tonight and not necessarily to do with the bed?

Thanks @JoJoSM2 ... I also don’t want to force the bed (I’d prefer if he stayed in a cot til 3 to be honest!) but the climbing out concerns me. I saw him on the monitor this morning looking like he was going to fall ob his head until I went him to rescue him. I actually did ask him where he wanted to sleep tonight and he choose the bed. So confusing.

Thanks @Pipandmum, I also wondered if it was coincidence as he went down for his nap in the bed so easily. We had a few rough nights last week, I think teething. So it could be that again. Time will tell, I guess.

Did you talk it over with him before it happened, so he knew what to expect and what he was/wasn’t allowed to do?
With dd1 we spent a few days talking about big girl beds and how amazing they were, then got her to choose a duvet set so she was involved, then set it all up and talked a lot about how big girls stay in their rooms until getting up time (groclock), but if she woke up early she could play quietly in her room until then. Definitely no coming out.

I also got a strap thing that passed under the mattress and held the duvet on at each side until she got used to it which helped with the transition from sleeping bags, and the bed was a toddler one with guard rails which i think helped a lot with the sudden weird feeling of space around her.

Most toddler things were helped (if not avoided completely) by giving her a clear road map of how it was going to go ahead of time so there were no surprises, but i think we were lucky there and fully accept this might not work for all littlies.

We probably didn’t prepare him enough @RubaiyatOfAnyone as we only decided today to try him in it due to his antics last night / this morning climbing out in such a dangerous way. I do normally prepare him for most things (transitions throughout the day etc).

That said, the bed wouldn’t have been a total surprise to him either as it has always been in his room, and we often read and play on it.

He is not the most compliant little boy, everything is a challenge to him, he’s a total daredevil and has no concept of danger. So while he knows he has to stay in bed, he just doesn’t seem to care . He is also speech delayed, although understands almost everything, so it can be hard to fully understand what he wants / thinks.

Like I said, I’d happily keep him in a cot until he’s much older but he really worried me the way he tried to climb out this morning - headfirst over the side.

Oh and also, he’s had a duvet in his cot for ages now, we never used grobags as we coslept at the beginning, so the duvet and pillow aren’t new to him. He also loves his duvet cover as it’s covered in cars. We gave him the same teddies and comforter that were in his cot, and there is a rail at one side of the double bed, but he’s well used to sleeping in beds (with us) without rails.

We moved ds at 18 months as he started climbing. Have you a cot bed? Maybe it's the size of the bed that's the issue? He doesn't feel secure enough? We took baby steps.... Removed side of cot and replaced with bed guard with small gap at bottom so he could climb out. Once he was used to it (6-7months) we bought the extendable toddler bed from IKEA and a triangular shaped foam wedge from Amazon to put along the gap at the edge (bed had raised sides to and bottom so open gap less than 1 metre at the moment) and he's been absolutely fine with it. Good luck. Anything is worth a try and these things to take time. Baby steps seemed to help out little one.

Also I might add he didn't have a duvet to get tangled up in, he prefers slumbersac with feet and bed socks. Makes it much easier for a little wriggler.