What's wrong with me

[Thaimoon]

I'm a new mum to a beautiful 4 month old little girl and I feel so lucky to have her in my life. We've had a few struggles... normal things I guess- first with breastfeeding and then with her being quite unsettled up until she was 11/12 weeks. Now we have plenty of smiles and peaceful and contented moments and things are definitely getting easier.

However despite this I feel that I am getting slowly but progressively more anxious. I find it hard to sleep even when she is sleeping as I never know when she will next next wake. I've started thinking a bit too much about SIDS and reading about peoples experiences almost like I'm preparing myself for what to do if it happens to us. I've been trying to start a routine in the day and it's going well I guess (she sleeps in her cot, goes down with some rocking and does this happily 3 times a day) but I beat myself up and stress about little things such as why she can't self settle and why she will only nap for 30 mins and not 2 hours as the program suggests she should. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm so sorry that I'm feeling this way when I do really know how lucky I am (long wished for baby) but I can't seem to shake off my anxiety and stress. Does anyone have any advice for me? Parents and in/laws not overly understanding and no parent groups due to lockdown so my sources of support are minimal. I would appreciate some wisdom from those who know what it's like.

Worrying is normal part of being a parent and you never do stop worrying but when it starts affecting your life for example your not sleeping because of SIDS risk etc then it's time you reach out to the GP.

Please book an appointment and speak to them.

I agree that I would see your GP.

Nothing wrong with you. You sounds like you’re coping beautifully with a small child during a pandemic but that some anxiety is creeping in.
Make a telephone appointment with your GP, same as you would with any other health issue.

Anxiety is no reflection on you as a woman, a mother, a parent. You deserve to feel contented and calm, you deserve good health. Take some time to invest in your health as you would your daughters.

This kind of anxiety is text book for a new mum if you ask me!
Keep calm and carry on!

It sounds like you are doing an amazing job! I wish my wee one was napping in her cot at that age. I best advice is to ignore whatever the books or programs tell you you should be doing. You could put 10 babies and parents together in a room and each one would have a different routine and a different way of getting baby to sleep etc. Just do what works for you. Motherhood is hard enough without comparing yourself to others.

I do think it's worth speaking to your GP or HV about your anxiety. As a PP said, you deserve to feel calm and be in good health. Being a new mum is tough, and you are doing the right thing by acknowledging that anxiety is setting in and that you need to confront it x

Oh @Thaimoon when I look back I was completely dissolved in PND, I didn't realise it at the time but I sounded just like you. Speak to your GP, it doesn't need to be so hard.

Thank you all for being so kind. I will chat to gp next week x

Have decided to put away the books too, and try to chill re. routine

Please seek help via your GP or health visitor. I do felt like you do from the moment my son was born until he was at least 3. Feelings of anxiety, worry and discontent skyrocketed. I am still suffering from the insomnia that it caused.

I was scared that if I told anyone, they'd take away my son. I know now that's not the case! Please do seek help.

Why are you hurting yourself? Yes, you are happy that you have a baby, but it does not mean that you can not be difficult.
My youngest son also did not sleep much, he did not sleep at all during the day, he cried a lot, but over time it improved and I become calmer.
Morning and evening routine is important, but it takes a lot of effort, it's normal that you get tired. You have someone to share your problems with, so do not worry. I see that you are too affected by this, talk to a professional. Don't be afraid to ask a professional for help.