How the heck do I break 3 bad habits?!

[SenoraSurf]

I've never really considered these bad habits, as my logic was, if we're all happy, who cares? But now I care and I need to do something about it.
Here's what we do currently with our 15 month old:

• cosleep
• rock him to sleep
• breastfeed back to sleep after 2/3 night wakings

And here is what I would like:

• toddler in his own room in cotbed
• no more rocking to sleep
• no more breastfeeding

I have no idea how to do it. DS goes to nursery during the week all day. He doesn't currently have any big changes in his life so this seems a good point to try and move him into his room.

I would rather him not get inconsolable and hysterical but at the same time, I can't continue how we are.

Please don't berate me about how I shouldn't have started these habits in the first place. DS is also completely deaf so we can't use our voice or music to comfort him.

I would keep the rocking as a form comfort and bonding for a bit longer as removing everything all at once might be a shock to him particularly as you cannot use your voice or music to comfort him . He is only 15 months, so don't think this is bad.

The other two, I would gradually reduce maybe from 7 days a week to 5 at first, then lower every other week (maybe longer) depending on how he's reacting to it. I also think the breast feeding will reduce once he starts on the bottle, if he already has not. If you wanted to stop the rocking completely, I would get him a comforter or something he can hang on to, but that would mean you'd have another habit to deal with later

We all have habits that we wish we never started, the good news is that they can be changed. Good luck.

I would do them one at a time so it's not too much of a shock.

Do you have a supportive DH who can help with the night weaning? When both my DS were around that age I was in the same situation. DH took over in the night, he still rocked them when they woke up but it only took a couple of nights and they stopped waking. As others have said I wouldn’t do it all at once, start with the feeding and then their own room. Rocking I would do last as it’s a useful way to wean off feeding and developmentally he’ll grown out of it soon anyway

Handhold and following no judgement here. Still feed on a night (formula) and cuddle to sleep when she needs it, she's 18 months today but has severe liptie which needs addressing before I want to try be but tougher (milk is needed as she doesn't eat much food which I'm presuming is linked to her tie and I don't know if she's in pain so cuddle/rock when needed) but I'm at the end of my tether atm!

One at a time !

If you have a partner they really need to step in.

My DH did the night weaning. It meant DS still had comfort and familiarity without the milk. Took a couple of nights and wasn’t particularly traumatic.

One thing at a time. I’d do night weaning first. Then tackle the others in a couple of weeks.

Thanks all. Yes I agree with the night weaning being done first but my husband is struggling with the rocking and gets frustrated, then when DS doesn't give in to sleep, we end up giving in and I feed him back to sleep. Which I guess starts the cycle over and over again.
I'm struggling to battle with my dh on it :(

When my baby was about seven months old we were cosleeping and I was in despair as thought we would never get her in her cot.

Then I had to stop cosleeping as she could roll and it got too risky that she would wake up before me and fall off the bed. Was pleasantly surprised to find she quickly got used to cot at night and was soon sleeping better in the cot than she did co-sleeping. Give the cot a go, it may take a few nights and lots of comforting the first night or two but babies often adapt quickly x

It looks like the problem might be an unsupportive husband rather than bad habits

Sit down with your husband during the day and have the conversation with him. Don’t argue at 3 o’clock in the morning.

He needs to step up and do his bit. It’s a very short term thing for him but will make a massive difference to you.

@SenoraSurf

I've never really considered these bad habits, as my logic was, if we're all happy, who cares? But now I care and I need to do something about it. Here's what we do currently with our 15 month old:

• cosleep
• rock him to sleep
• breastfeed back to sleep after 2/3 night wakings

And here is what I would like:

• toddler in his own room in cotbed
• no more rocking to sleep
• no more breastfeeding

I have no idea how to do it. DS goes to nursery during the week all day. He doesn't currently have any big changes in his life so this seems a good point to try and move him into his room.

I would rather him not get inconsolable and hysterical but at the same time, I can't continue how we are.

Please don't berate me about how I shouldn't have started these habits in the first place. DS is also completely deaf so we can't use our voice or music to comfort him.

Tell husband to put some earphones in and just suck it up.

I night weaned and sleep trained all at once out of desperation after 20 months of no sleep, it helped and was tough for three nights but doable however your lo is a bit you gets than mine

Might help if you do a. It if a make over of his room, favourite bedding, new sort teddy etc. No need to have him sobbing uncontrollably just be realistic about how much you can change and how long it might take. Choose the most important thing to tackle first and stuck to your guns.

And when I said sleep training I sat next to her and patted her bum or stroked her head to sleep, she cried and screamed for booby but I was there with her

Yes my husband is definitely frustrating me. I have broached the subject again and his response was that I should be rocking him as well, it's not fair that just he should do it. When I explained that it's not fair for DS to be crying for boob and me rocking him with boob practically in his face! DH then said ok fine but not tonight, tomorrow

I'm going to give the night weaning a go first, see how that goes for a couple of nights and go from there. Have also ordered a duvet and pillow and some nice bedding for DS to have in his room ready for when the next step happens I will drop the rocking last as hopefully once he is weaned off me, I will be able to do my share of rocking without ds grabbing boob!

It feels good to have a plan, thanks everyone.

We did a whole month of my husband rocking her to sleep after she had her last booby either in our bedroom or downstairs.

Then once she was used to that then I was able to give last boob, then go into her room abs rock her to sleep myself.

This was so she associated the rocking chair without my boobs abs she took to it quite well.

Then I was told by a nursery nurse to drop the rocking as she was waking up so much because she was falling asleep on me but waking in her own bed.

So after boobing I'd lay her down in her cot and pat her to sleep or tickle her head.

It took 3-5 nights of crying but she got it.

She still takes sometimes 30 mins to get off to sleep and she did start sleeping for longer chunks but there's always something to derail it like teething or colds and you have to start again

Good luck 😉

It’s definitely easier if it’s your husband rather than you rocking to begin with because he won’t smell like milk. As others have said it’s fine for your husband to step up and do his bit in the nights after you presumably doing many months of them.