If your toddler was like this, what are they like now they're older?

[babysnowman]

Just curious really.

Nursery have said that DD 18 months prefers her own company. She'll join in with the others sometimes but mostly likes to play by herself. My first thought was that maybe she is shy. DH thinks she just doesn't show much interest in the others because she's confident and content amusing herself.

If your toddler was like this, what was their personality like as they grew up?

I was like that as a child and I grew up to be a loner. I’m happy and confident I just prefer my own company.

Interested to hear the responses here.
Although I would add that that is completely normal at that age. 18 mo that is basically a big baby and id be more surprised to see an very outgoing social baby with thier peers than one who played on thier own.

DS1 3yo is very energetic and playful but mostly likes to play by himself (unless he's at home and he will only play with me or DP!) so it may not necessarily be that your DD is shy.

Toddlers tend to do ‘parallel play’ where they are to play by themselves alongside other children rather than playing together. It’s perfectly normal.

My first DS was exactly like this, really shy, nursery said he'd happily observe and sometimes stand/ sit with the group of doing songs/rhymes but would never join in. He also quite often took himself off with some toys, to go and play by himself.
He's now 4 and a half and has changed so much since starting school. He's still fairly quiet but will happily get stuck in. I've noticed he doesn't initiate games, and doesn't approach children without encouragement, but will follow along or get stuck in if the children are all playing in the playground and running about and won't look back for reassurance like he used to

‘Parallel play’ is completely normal at that age. It’s only when they’re a bit older they get all that invested in playing with each other. I used to notice it at toddler and pre-schooler groups — the younger ones were playing by themselves with toys, and only the ones who were already at preschool and headed to school next year were really more interested in one another than the toys.

^ what @Anoisagusaris said.
| totally normal for this age

I wouldn't think anything of it, other than what were the Nursery talking about. At 18months, it is absolutely normal/ usual / whatever you want to say, for a little one to play alone. It is called 'parallel play' or 'playing alongside' and absolutely not an issue.

nursery should know that at 18 months no child plays with another. they play alongside but not with

My second was like that. Didn't start being interested in other kids until he was about 5/6

@IKEA888

nursery should know that at 18 months no child plays with another. they play alongside but not with

Yes, exactly. I’m not a childcare professional, just a parent, and know this! They should.

At 18 months that's normal.

DD started life incredibly shy, tearful, clingy. Had grommets for very bad case of glue ear at 4. Slowly slowly changed into a madcap funny friendly nonsense-loving dramaholic extrovert. Loved her in all incarnations, obviously.

It's completely normal for an 18 month old to play alone or alongside other children, rather than with other children. My dd didn't play with other children until she was three. She's now a very sociable 7 year old.

@IKEA888

nursery should know that at 18 months no child plays with another. they play alongside but not with

Yep, this.

My son is almost 20 months and when I did a play date with four other mums 2 months ago who also have toddlers between 17-22 months, none of them played with each other. When they first saw each other in the garden, they ran and hugged each other but throughout the day none of the toddlers played with each other and they all played on their own. The only communication they had between each other was basically pulling ones toy or getting in each others way but they all played alone with their own toys unless another toddler wanted that toy.

Thanks for the responses, I hadn't heard of parallel play. To be fair, the nursery weren't suggesting there was anything wrong with it, I was just curious whether it was an early sign of her personality.

Totally normal

And if she has no older siblings even more so

@babysnowman

Thanks for the responses, I hadn't heard of parallel play. To be fair, the nursery weren't suggesting there was anything wrong with it, I was just curious whether it was an early sign of her personality.

Not in my experience, just a developmental stage, like crawling. By the time my son was at preschool, the year before he started Reception, he was far more engaged with other children than he’d been a year earlier, when he would play alongside other children without taking much notice of them.