6 year old eating style

[TheRedEngine]

I have been invited to make comment by the child's mother in the hope of improving but I'd like to be a bit informed first... so I thought you kind people might be able to help, please!

Currently the poor thing is sitting on an ordinary chair; there is a bit of a booster cushion that's sometimes used, but even with that she's inclined to kneel on it to reach a sensible height. If I'm sitting at the table, it's an inch or two above my navel-height. What's the ideal height for a child to sit? And what's the best way to get the child up to that height? I presume life is more pleasant if there is something for her to put her feet on?

And then what for cutlery? She's using ordinary grown-up-sized cutlery which I'd have thought is a bit on the big size. I know when I was a child we had special small cutlery; but I can't remember at what age...

My children were happy to kneel at that age and although I had small cutlery when tiny I think they were using normal by 6. What is the actual issue here that she needs help with?

From the age of 2 my kids used normal chairs.

6 year old sometimes uses the kiddy cutlery, sometimes doesn’t.

9 year old keeps using her fingers but that’s a whole different issue!!

My 7 year old has sat in an ordinary seat since he climbed out of his high chair. Sometimes he uses the adult cutlery, sometimes the child stuff we have. He doesn’t seem to mind either way. My 4 year old uses a booster cushion because he never really liked the high chair and so has just kept on using the booster since he was teeny. He uses the child’s cutlery mostly.

I really don’t think there is any need to describe a 6 year old sitting on an ordinary chair as a ‘poor thing’ . If the parents are happy with the current arrangement and hen I think you should mind your own business.

My eldest has been sitting at the table on a normal chair from 3. He had a cushion to sit on before that as he was a little bit small. He’s been eating with adult cutlery since he was about 4.

My 2 yr old is currently has a booster but is almost ready to not use it and uses kids cutlery (from IKEA so it’s quite large)

My 2.5 year old sits at the table on a normal chair, doesn't need to kneel. She has an extra seat pad to boost her up a little but could manage without. She uses metal cutlery but it is kid size, from Aldi baby event last year.

My DD sat on an ordinary dining chair with a cushion from 2(ish). She used toddler sized cutlery until she was 3 then used normal sized ones with no problem.

We have Ikea Junior chairs which are a bit higher and designed just for this. They really help but my nearly 8yo is getting a bit too big for the seat even though the height is still helpful. My 4yo uses metal children's cutlery, the eldest uses the smaller cutlery from our set (the ones designed for starters). Despite all that, we still constantly have to ask them to sit properly and use their cutlery properly so I think it's partly age.

Thank you. I'm sure it's an age thing, but if one wants children to sit and eat nicely one must make sure one isn't making it difficult for them!

Does one want that or is one interfering?

DD is 5 and sits in normal chair but I'd love one of those adjustable chairs as I think that would be better for her. She definitely does not use full sized cutlery and I would not dream of expecting her to. She can use a full size fork but a full size knife or spoon are awkward for her.

At this age, I'm not too concerned about things being perfect. I'm encouraging her to eat with her mouth closed, to keep her elbows off the table etc. Also she's learning to cut and hold her cutlery correctly (I actually think we should have done this sooner but DS has some issues and only really starting getting to grips with this age 8 and so I think we've just been a bit slack with DD because we're used to his timetable).

I have been a little surprised at how poor the manners of many of DS' friends are. I hadn't noticed it before - perhaps because my expectations were lower when they were younger? - but over the summer we had a few meals at ours with his friends and I was a bit surprised.

I read that some children, when they returned to school after lockdown had to be re-taught how to use cutlery.

All mine (7, 3 & 3) sit on Tripp trapps so they're at the right height for the table. They can all just about manage on normal chairs but they're more comfortable when they're at the right height. The younger two use children's size cutlery (mainly IKEA) and melamine/plastic plates etc but the 7yo has adult everything and has done since he was about 5.

Horses for courses though really, just because that's how my family does it, doesn't mean it's right for every family.

At 6 years old the child is perfectly capable of sitting on a dining chair and using regular cutlery.

It's not an age thing by the way as my children are adults.

Someone with children has asked for advice from someone with no experience.

I’d like to know if they have asked for this advice though or there is someone like a MIL trying to build ammunition to beat her DIL with. That’s how it comes across to me. Children develop at their own rate and living in a happy environment where they don’t have their every move criticised is more important than perfect manners.

@TheRedEngine

Thank you. I'm sure it's an age thing, but if one wants children to sit and eat nicely one must make sure one isn't making it difficult for them!

Oh must one?

My DS aged 7 sits on his Tripp Trapp chair which is suitable from baby to adult, with adjustable seat and foot plate. He uses IKEA metal cutlery which is bigger than baby cutlery but more manageable than adult cutlery.
The chair is probably the best piece of baby equipment we bought. It was expensive, but we've had it nearly 7 years now and it will last as long as he wants to use it. And as it's adjustable the seating position is always just right.

Our 6 yr old sits on normal height chair and uses normal size cutlery. He would be very offended if we tried to make him use "baby" cutlery.

The child you're talking about - I don't understand - didn't she have the small cutlery when younger? Or has she used adult size ever since she graduated from fingers/plastic spoons?